Mawwiage
Today is exactly six months into my marriage. Time for a post I’ve been preparing a long time (and, before you all panic, there will be no sex data here).
I predicted:
Me getting annoyed at my partner’s casual messiness (we housesat together for two weeks about a year into our relationship, which turned out to be one of the best things we ever did – it was a hideous experience!)
Me getting slightly saner (thanks to stability of home, finances, and housemate), beginning at about six months (because getting married is stressful).
Fights and tears.
What actually happened:
Early on: I slept about eleven hours a night for two months. Marriage is a big life thingy, so it wasn’t all that surprising. What did surprise me was the sudden drop in my IQ. I’m just thinking about him all the time. That’s just how it works. (I hope I get my IQ back one day, but I doubt it’ll happen.)
I also freaked out (screaming, jumping, horror) a lot when I was naked and A MAN walked in. (I only jump a little nowadays. There’s a process. . .)
I’m still not used to sharing a bed, but I’m more used to sharing a bed with him than have a bed to myself (having a bed to myself just feels wrong).
It’s a lot harder to lose weight. I think that’s because I’m now living in (and enjoying) the present, rather than only preparing for some vague future time when I’ll start living.
Future plans: Two kids and a house – not for about three-five years respectively. We’re on a pretty similar wavelength (or so it seems at the moment).
Fights: We haven’t fought since we married. He annoys me plenty, but it’s obvious even to my addled mind that he’s doing a lot of great things for me, many of which don’t come naturally to him (like tidying his stuff up as he goes along, and making his lunch instead of buying it). Also I think I’ve become adept at not pushing him too far all at once. (I like fast thrilling change. He likes nothing to ever change.)
Money: Fundamentally, he earns the money and I manage it. He loves insurance and guarantees; I like savings. Neither of us has expensive habits. We’ve eaten out just twice since we married (excluding times we were invited to social occasions). I hate the fact that he is literally my carer – financially and psychologically – but he’s clearly not suffering, and I’m clearly improving, so I can more or less live with it (since I have no choice anyway).
Expectations: I tell him what I need – and he does it. I also tell him what I want (making the difference clear) and he does almost all of that too.
He asks almost nothing – but he doesn’t need to, because I figure it out – and I do it. I’ve seen a lot of relationships in this pattern, and the girl always feels bad for asking so much – but it’s evident by the way the guy is floating along that she’s giving as much as she gets (and often more). I have to keep reminding myself of that. Luckily for me, his happiness is clear.
Chores: Since Chris earns most of the money, I do about two-thirds of the housework, including rubbish, washing, shopping, and periodic jobs like dusting. He fixes stuff. One of us cooks (we’re similarly skilled) and one washes up each night, and on weekends I hoover and he does the bathroom. I also have a “microcosm” system so that he still has the habits of independent looking after his own household (which he’s never done) – there are certain food items that only he eats, so he has to notice when they’re running out and write them on the shopping list (or he goes without for a bit). Also the study is all his – I don’t vacuum there, take out the rubbish from there, take out plates from there, or do any kind of cleaning whatsoever. So my partner has to notice all by himself if the rubbish is overflowing or something’s growing in an old coffee mug. If I drop dead, he’ll already have the habits of looking after himself without being told. If he drops dead, I get life insurance 🙂 So we’re all set. (This is one of those things we’ve talked about.)
Best part: -Cuddling up at night. Cuddling in front of TV pretty much every day (my perfect date).
-Pride in our savings – I’ve never had savings before.
-Herbs. I’d never bought herbs (or spices) before – food was for survival, not experimentation. Now we have cinnamon, nutmeg, coriander, cumin, tumeric, fennel, basil, thyme, mint and chives. Rosemary and sage are on the shopping list. I am enjoying my attempts to figure out what flavours go best with what foods (so far I like baked real-potato chips with thyme – I’ve also never had a functioning oven of my own – and lamb chops are great fried with garlic, ginger and fennel)
Worst part: -The SO has a lot of around-the-house habits I find startling (and annoying).
-Finances are really stressful – I still can’t believe how much insurance (house, cars, health, etc) costs. The SO and I have very different money experiences and habits.
On Wednesday both he and I went to the dentist with toothache. It had occurred to me that it was terrifically bad luck for both of us to need a dentist trip at the same time. As it turned out, both of us were only suffering from referred flu pain. And I ended up with another excellent example of how different we are.
My dental trip cost $95
His dental trip cost $240
My philosophy is, “Great, now they’ve checked the painful area I know I’m fine – I can skip my five-yearly checkup.” His is, “Better get another x-ray, a full checkup and a clean – since I’m here.” (And then he feels vaguely guilty for not doing the same thing every six months.)
Since I’d expected nasty bills, this was okay – just. And I’m sure my partner consciously chose not to bug me about how I should have gotten a proper checkup.
Changes: The SO is tidier, better at remembering what he’s going to do, and doesn’t make impulse purchases any more – unless it’s books, which are always worth buying.
I am calmer. One day I endeavour to become messier as my OCD fades 🙂
I have started singing again around the house – I hadn’t realised I’d stopped, but I noticed when I started again. And I knew it was because of him.
Us - six months ago.
Interview with the main character
The narrator of the twitter tale is Ulandin (chosen as narrator mainly because his name is the longest). He will be telling the story in first person (“I. . . “)
Keep in mind that both Ulandin and “Louise Curtis” are technically fictional – Louise is MOSTLY me, but nicer. And a bit dumber (arguably).
Louise is a writer, so she has a cat. This cat has clearly heard one too many discussions of grammar.
This interview takes place in real time, just before “Tar” happens. “Tar” isn’t required reading. Nor is this – it’s not a story, just a bit of story flotsam.
Interview with Ulandin, by the author (sort of):
It was a hot day, and everyone seemed to have passed out under the scattered trees. The heat was so thick I swam dreamily along the road, unable to walk quickly.
I found Ulandin under a tree (naturally), fixing a broken oar. He was only sixteen or so, but carried himself as if he was much older. I got the feeling that if he’d seen me coming he’d have hidden – he had the look of someone trying to be invisible. That impression vanished the instant he raised his eyes – striking golden eyes in a brown face.
Louise: Good afternoon.
Ulandin: Ma’am.
Louise: How long have you been working for Master Hinfar?
Ulandin: Since Mum died.
Louise: How old were you then?
Ulandin: Dunno. Don’t remember it.
Louise: So you’re a slave?
Ulandin: Figured that out yourself, did you?
Louise: Are you okay? Are you fed well?
Ulandin: Enough to work.
Louise: How would you describe your life?
Ulandin: Rather not.
Louise: Can I. . . er. . . bribe you or something?
Ulandin: Do you have a boat?
Louise: Um. . . no. I was thinking of food, or money. That kind of thing.
Ulandin: You know what a slave with money is?
Louise: What?
Ulandin: A thief. Then dead.
Louise: Oh. Never mind. But then why did you want a boat?
Ulandin: To be free.
Louise: Oh. I’m so sorry. Is there anyone who can help you – buy your freedom, or something?
Ulandin: Not on this island. Master Hinfar owns everyone, one way or another. Except. . . no. No-one.
Louise: Except who?
Ulandin: The girl who landed on the beach yesterday. She’s not from here. No-one knows where she’s from. Pretty, though – all big eyes and ringlets. But maybe the big eyes were because she was starving – another hour and she’d have died.
Louise: Where is she?
Ulandin: Master Hinfar took her away.
Louise: Will he make her a slave?
Ulandin: I don’t think he can. I don’t think anyone can.
Miss Piggy you fiend!
Pretty sure my husband and I both have swine flu. It’s pretty bad, but kinda fun being part of a pandemic. I’m almost completely over it – just a faint lingering headache, and a feeling like a bruise right on my left cheekbone. Plus I feel like I have toothache – so much so that I had a dentist check it out. The husband is just getting started, so we’re actually giving him medication (just to be different).
Warning: if you get swine flu, don’t bother going to the dentist.
For those still panicking – don’t. It’s just another flu – if you’re 100 years old with emphysema, or you’re pregnant, you should be concerned. Otherwise, don’t be.
Today I received my fifth manuscript recommendation from a professional assessor (for the fart book). That’s five different assessors and five different books. Yay me.
Now all I need is a market. Which is where twitter comes in. I’ve just discovered that if people go to
http://twitter.com/Louise_Curtis_ (include the underline at the end – I can’t seem to work the cut and paste properly) and press the big green ‘join’ button, I automatically get followed. Excellent!
Join me, my pretties. . . It’s crucial I get lots of followers.
Lots of followers
= media event
=marketability
=publication (Harper Collins is replying to my book early next month! Will they say yes? Will twitter make all the difference? Follow me on twitter and find out!)
Felicity/Louise Curtis
Parental Advisory
This entry is all about child safety.
The first thing to remember is that my “Louise Curtis” pen-name will never write above a PG rating (generally for piratical violence, or it’d be a G rating throughout).
It should also be noted that I am a Christian and one of my characters is faintly based on Jesus (is there any more interesting person in history?) My first priority is to write an excellent story, but if you’re sensitive to religious themes it’s best you know one of the characters may be offensive to you – on a more subtle level than Aslan in the Narnia books.
“Felicity Bloomfield” writes for adults, and doesn’t hold back on topics. For an example, download “Tar”, a short story available at:
http://drolleriepress.com/needles-bones/
This is NOT NOT suitable for children.
I recommend the twittertale for age 10 and up.
Flashmob safety:
The flashmob is an open-invite event, so don’t assume everyone in a pirate person is well-meaning. There will be free (non-nut) lollies, but the peope I know and trust will be carrying my signature. If you email me in advance, I will send you a picture of it (and answer any other questions you have). My email address is fellissimo @ hotmail. com (no spaces).
If you are looking for me at the flashmob (eg for a copy of my signature so you know who to take lollies from), this is what I’ll be wearing:
Long black gloves, black corset, green lacy wrap (bare shoulders), full-length skirt in either dark green or dark red.
I’m also 175cm with long brown hair, so I’m pretty easy to spot (although when I show up I’ll have a baggy jumper over all but the skirt).
And while we’re here, here’s some more blogs I’ve been linking to:
WARNING: Blogs are the property of their writers and might not be G-rated. Most of them look okay to me (with the exception noted), and are rather good because they’re all written by writers.
http://thewriterssideofthelookingglass.blogspot.com/
Charleevale.blogspot.com
http://paigeofabook.blogspot.com/
warning: the above is a crime blog, and is often upsetting.
http://jannettejohnson.blogspot.com
http://straightfromhel.blogspot.com
(‘Hel’ is an abbreviation for ‘Helen’)
http://www.jmstrother.com/tiki-view_blog_post.php?blogId=1&postId=237
GREAT for brand-new twitter users.
http://editorunleashed.com/2009/01/15/twitter-tips-for-writers-25-good-follows/
GREAT for people (especially writers) who need help sorting out who to follow on twitter.
Free sample
I’ll be tweeting the very first post of the twittertale this Saturday 25 July. (It’s a bit weird calling it a free sample when the whole thing is free, but oh well.)
Harper Collins is within a month of making a decision on one of my novels – the first I ever wrote that had pirates in, in fact.
If I can get famous by the end of July, they’re sure to say yes (the last time they rejected it was only because it lacked a market – not because the writing was lacking. And it’s a LOT better since then, believe me).
So please, join me on twitter. It may mean the difference between a three-book deal and yet another glowing letter telling me how fabulous – but not saleable – I am. Make your housemates/children/pets follow me. use your backup email. Just make me famous, please. . .
Louise_Curtis_
“Why are you helping me?”
“Because you inspire terrible pity” –Dollhouse quote.
Free Short Story Classes for Canberra Schools
One of the key elements of my plan to use twitter to take over the world:
I’m offering free short story writing classes to Years 5-12 in any Canberra schools. (Naturally there are twitter details on the handout.)
So far three schools have said a definite yes, and others are looking likely. I’m gonna be sooooo tired. If you are connected to a Canberra school, feel free to contact me at fellissimo @ hotmail. com (but without spaces). The first three Northside schools get their own exclusive writing competitions sponsored by Dymocks Belconne.
I was interviewed by the Canberra Times yesterday, and will be interviewed live on ABC 666 today at 2.20pm.
In other news, I’ve just discovered that Harper Collins will be replying to my most-near-misses-at-major-publishers book, “Stormhunter”, in early August.
An exciting month, then.
Felicity Bloomfield
@Louise_Curtis_
Real Time Weather
The “novel” will be told in real time – so if the characters are eating lunch, I’ll post that tweet at lunch time.
Whenever I add a tweet to the novel, I’ll check the real-time weather in Jakarta (since my fantasy world is based on Indonesia). So you can check the novel weather, too (because it won’t be mentioned much in the actual tweets…but I’ll know what it is).
In my head
Can’t sleep. Can’t sit still. Hands shaking. Locked keys in car. Got my name and gender incorrect. Throbbing headache.
This is what hypergraphic mania looks like.
And in many ways it’s kinda fun. I’m getting HEAPS done (it HURTS my head – I swear I can feel the thoughts marching across my left cheekbone).
My mental illness is pretty minor, especially the bipolar bit of it. I can think and talk rationally, though I’m somewhat distracted and it’s very difficult to listen to anything anyone else has to say (“Oh, and how is that different?” from the chorus). I know I’m going to crash, so I plan for it – saving up my chocolate quote for when I need it to stay awake/civil/at work.
It’s all gonna be juuuuust fiiiiiine.
Eating pancakes now. Yum.
Twitter for. . . well, for twits
It is waaaaay easier than I expected.
Go to:
http://twitter.com/Louise_Curtis_
and join from there.
You’ll need a name, an email address, and the ability to invent a password and type in a word verification. That’s it!
It will ask you if you want to follow various celebrities, and my little icon should be on the right-hand-side of your screen.
If it’s not, comment here or write me an email at fellissimo @ hotmail. com (no spaces) telling me your user name.
Felicity Banks 