Fakts
I don’t think I’m especially good at writing. My improvements look huge to me, but I gather from my latest Allen & Unwin near-miss rejection that I’m actually a slow learner – Allen & Unwin has been giving me detailed semi-annual rejections for years (usually a different book each time, as I think, “NOW I’ve got it!”) and I think they’re sick of it.
Not sure if anyone would buy my books even if they were in shops right now. There’s so much luck to the whole process – the cover and placement (in shops) are more important than the book itself, at least for the first five hundred sales (after that there’s word of mouth, which is perhaps 60% influenced by skill).
This twitter thing really is a dumb idea. It’s a lot of work, and it’s highly unlikely I’ll get anywhere.
The story is weird. Not sure if people can handle it. Not sure if it’s a good story or just a well-written writing exercise (faugh!)
At some point, I’ll give up on this epic adventure (I’ll finish the story – it’s already written, anyway – but the wheels of my personal promotion engine will slow and stop). It’ll be embarrassing when I stop believing, given how much I’ve done on this project. (It is of course possible that when I give up the tipping point will happen and all my work will suddenly pay off.)
All I can really do is keeping working on this promotion thing, be grateful for all the support I’ve been given (from friends and the media), and hope something gives. And remind myself of the dozens of stories I’ve sold, and of the general flavour of comments I get from industry professionals.
Today I received two points of contact from children I’ve taught in the last fortnight – from two different schools. I don’t think either one is actually following me on twitter, but the fact that they’ve remembered who I was when they went home is probably the most encouraging sign I’ve had this week (plus about twenty more twitter followers – most of whom I didn’t recognise, but I don’t think they were from schools because of the time of day they joined).
Two girls at today’s school asked me if I was famous, which amused me very much. I said that no, I didn’t have a limo, but yes, I had stuff online.
Here’s the video of the flashmob (which has quite a few views on it):
Companion to Day Six: Magic
Hello to all the kids I met today, who invented wonderful stories for me
– the handsome prince with bed-wetting issues
– the flying dog with a taste for leg of schoolboy, and
– the horrifying – but delicious – sludge monster, Jim.
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The tropical world of the story is called Rahana. Rahana is populated by humans, and many are born with magical ability – roughly one-third of the population.
The three types of magic are:
Quickensmith/Quickener (like Captain Sol): Can move any kind of object – including humans (very crudely, eg she can make part of their body cave in, or send a person flying across the room as if they’ve been punched super hard).
Healsmith/Healer (like Oldy – not that it’s been mentioned yet): Can heal people (although a poor healer sometimes makes things worse).
Feelsmith/Feeler (doesn’t come up in this story): Can read or transmit emotion.
All three magic skills require physical touch – but the lightest brush of a hand is enough.
There are a few other (extremely rare) types of magic on Rahana, but they are not well understood.
In Captain Sol’s time, using quickening to make a ship sail is considered extremely bad luck.
One thing sailors and writers have in common is that sheer luck has a huge influence on our lives. That makes both groups either neurotic, superstitious, or both. But writers’ bad luck only makes them poor. Sailors’ bad luck gets them horribly killed. There’s a REASON people say worse things happen at sea.
Any day now, Harper Collins will respond to my young adult book, “Stormhunter”. I know it’s good enough (partly because they themselves have told me so). I just need a little luck.
Guess I’d better conduct my entire work day on one leg, in case THAT helps.
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Incidentally, here’s the YouTube video of the “Worse Things Happen at Sea” launch (a flashmob):
Companion to Day Five: Interview with Captain Sol
Before I begin, hello to Leo, Nathan, Michael and Nikki!
Like the other interviews, this is conducted by Louise Curtis and plays in real-time (so Louise Curtis magically dropped in on the island pictured at the top of this blog, and ran into a hungry – but rich – Captain Sol).
Interview
I found Sol wandering the twisty streets with a hungry look in her eye and a full look to her pockets. Her hair was slicked back with tar even on land, and the stench was overpowering. She was painfully thin, and wore a permanent mocking smile. The man behind her never took his eyes off her.
She saw me looking, and motioned her companion away with an economical swipe of her arm.
Sol: I didn’t steal nothing from you.
Louise: I didn’t say you did.
Sol: Stop looking at me funny then.
Louise: I — sorry Sol.
Sol: Captain Sol.
Louise: Er. Yes of course – captain. So. . . would you mind telling me a little bit about yourself – where you grew up, perhaps?
Sol: Run away.
Louise: Pardon?
Sol: Run.
Louise: Please don’t look at me like that. I — never mind!
*Louise flees*
*Sol smirks, gestures for Ulandin to follow, and continues on her way*
Louise dressed as Sol (except Sol would use real tar and real blood, and has dark skin)
The Redwood Tree
Probably my greatest achievement today (other than survival, which really is impressive at present) is that I didn’t eat pancakes for lunch. Instead I ate two slices of toast – butter and cinnamon sugar on one; nutella and butter on the other. Baby steps. . .
(My limitation of fifty grams of chocolate a day is going well – I’m slightly ahead of myself and finding substitute binges, but overall eating daily pancakes is a huge improvement on eating a 250 gram block of Cadbury each day).
And here’s another true story Ben told me the other day.
At Oxford university, one of the beautiful old buildings has a central column made from the trunk of a mature redwood tree. Unfortunately, the building is five hundred years old, and the redwood began to deteriorate – putting the whole building in jeopardy. The Oxford people didn’t know what to do. They longed to find another redwood to restore the building to its former glory, but redwoods are extremely rare and take centuries to grow. Months passed as people tried to figure out a useable substitute. Then someone realised that among Oxford’s many land holdings is a grove of redwoods.
As it turns out, when that particular building was made, the builders realised the redwood wouldn’t last forever. So they thought ahead – half a millenium ahead – and planted a selection of replacements.
Companion to Day Four: Videos
There’s not much to discuss about today’s tweet except to sigh and say, “Young love. . .”
Speaking of the young, hello to the kids I met today! Jordan, Sam, Britney, Alexandro (selamat malam!), Thomas and Hazel.
Look for “Pirate Flashmob Canberra” on YouTube and hopefully you’ll find the movie of the mob! Let me know if you do/don’t.
Lost and Confounded
Yesterday I got into the car to go and promote my twitter tale at another school. The route was remarkably simple – from the main road I travel on almost every day, I had just two turns to make (both to the right).
I cunningly made a wrong turn.
I cunningly confirmed the turn was correct by observing the name of the first street was correct (it happens to join that street and the correct one).
I cunningly continued driving for another twenty minutes, telling myself that the street looked different because of the time of day (um. . . ).
I cunningly drove into the wrong state of our fine country.
I cunningly realised my error at precisely the time I was due to begin my day’s work at a school I have never worked at before – where one of my new aunt-in-laws teaches, and had recommended me (based on – what? My ability to drink champagne at family events?)
I cunningly realised that I didn’t have any possible numbers to call to tell anyone relevant what was going on.
I cunningly discovered that neither did my husband. And his mum’s phone was, by then, switched off. Because she was at work.
I did find my way – rather easily, it must be said. I even parked in the right carpark (the teachers’ one). I may have been hyperventilating a little as I grabbed my bag, keys, and phone and hurriedly stumbled out of the vehicle.
I cunningly sensed something was wrong.
I cunningly looked at the keys in my hand (I’ve locked them in the car – in the keyhole – once already since beginning work on the twitter tale).
Nope. They weren’t in the car. In fact, the car door was still open.
And moving.
The car was rolling steadily backward on a collision course with a perfectly innocent van.
I cunningly stared at it, thinking I was imagining things.
I cunningly dived in through the open door and grabbed the handbrake. (Again with the superhero moves.)
I drove the car back, put it in park, but the handbrake on, and went to work.
And the day went well. I’m teaching at the school again today.
I think there’s a moral to this story. Too bad.
Today I’m “riding with the red baron” (which makes standing up – while, for instance, teaching – painful). I’m also sitting, at 6am, at the hosue where I’ll be overnight nannying all this week (the mum just left and at least one child is still crying). I’m also teaching at three more schools on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday – while also tutoring, and editing the twitter tale.
What could possibly go wrong?
I think the key is to plan my breakdowns – rather than weeping and cursing spontaneously at a crowd of 10-year olds, I’ll spend my afternoons eating, crying, and sleeping (between class teaching and private tutoring sessions). That will probably get me through until Saturday, when I can do it all day.
Last night my partner and I edited the flashmob video, so I’ll be posting it various places (beginning with my other blog – twittertales.wordpress.com) this afternoon (hopefully).
Companion to Day Three: Food
Hello to Dorian, Scott and Hayley who I met today (along with the rest of their classes)!
Like Ulandin (the person telling the story of, “Worse Things Happen at Sea”, I love food. Here’s a recipe for soto (Javanese chicken soup) which I invented after eating it at Jakarta airport.
Ingredients:
1 Onion
Asian spices
A clove of garlic
Half a kilo of chicken in small pieces (no bones)
Sweet soy sauce (kecap manis)
Lime juice
One can coconut milk
Four boiled eggs
Prawn crisps
Two fresh tomatoes, sliced into about eight pieces each.
Cooked rice to serve four people
Method:
Fry the onion, garlic and spices, then add and lightly fry the chicken. Add the coconut milk, plus as much sweet soy sauce and lime juice as tastes good to you (perhaps two tablespoons each). Simmer until it’s cooked, then add the tomato at the last moment.
Serve with rice, quartered boiled eggs, prawn crisps and quartered limes – with extra sweet soy sauce if anyone wants it.
Serves four.
YUM
Frequently Asked Questions
What do you mean by ‘real time’?
I mean that if the pirates attack at dawn, the tweet is sent at dawn. If nothing is happening (eg the pirates are asleep), there are no tweets until they wake up/do something interesting. It also means that some tweets will happen at odd hours of the night.
But. . . the time is wrong. Why?
The time zone is set to Jakarta – including sunrise, sunset, and weather. I live in Canberra (which is Jakarta plus three hours – making “dawn” 9:00am), but the setting of the story is a tropical island world much like Indonesia, where people are dark-skinned with black hair, and there’s no Winter (because it’s MY fantasy world). So it makes sense to make the real-world connection in Indonesia.
Who is the narrator?
The narrator’s name is Ulandin. He is a teenage ex-slave. His interview is here in this blog.
So he’s a guy then?
Yep.
Can I get the story on my phone?
Australian twitter doesn’t allow you to receive SMSes. But if you email your mobile number to me at fellissimo[at]hotmail.com, with the subject, “Phone Tweets”, then I will send them to your phone at the same time I release them on twitter. I can also send them to you in real-time via email if you email me with the subject, “Email Tweets”.
Why do you have two names?
It’s a crude ratings system – if a story is written by Louise Curtis, it’s PG or G. If it’s written by Felicity Bloomfield, it probably isn’t. Felicity Bloomfield is my main online personality, and my blog (mainly about the writing process and being mentally ill) is at felicitybloomfield.wordpress.com. This blog is all about the story.
How are you getting paid for this story?
I’m not. The whole idea is to get better-known as an author.
Have you been published?
I’ve sold about thirty short stories around the world (including some online), and sold one book (which I’m fairly sure was never produced). I am working on a number of books at the moment, most of which involve pirates.
What is it with you and pirates?
I wrote pirates into my young adult book “Stormhunter” and then realised I knew nothing about sailing. So I decided to “research” tall ships by travelling on the Young Endeavour sail training vessel. I’ve written an entire children’s trilogy since then, all with pirates in.
What’s the deal with the flashmob?
Because it’s a twitter “novel” (of about 3000 words) I had a book launch – of sorts. Instead of speeches and wine, we gathered at some local shops, then for half an hour whipped off our normal-person disguises and looked like pirates. You can see 1.30minutes of highlights by watching “Pirate Flashmob Canberra” on Youtube.com
*Add your questions in comments, and if I think they’re common enough I’ll edit them into the main post.
Companion to Day 2: Tricksy Pirates
If you’re wondering what the island looks like – look up. I based it off the island in the home page photo (although Sol and Ulandin’s perspective is rather different).
On to today’s topic.
Pirates were infamous for using their wits and sheer bravado as much as their cutlasses at times.
In 1719, Captain Rackham’s pirate ship was trapped by two more respectable vessels. He managed to last the day by sheltering behind an island, but the two respectable ships places themselves overnight in such a way that he couldn’t sail either forward or back. All the pirates could do was wait until dawn to be slaughtered.
What’s a pirate to do?
They left their ship empty and managed to take over one ship (the best of the three!) by climbing aboard in absolute silence, and taking over the whole thing without a single scream for help or alarm rung.
Then they quietly sailed it away.
The next day, the remaining good guys set the pirate’s ship on fire. Too bad it was empty – and their companions captured along with their VERY pretty boat.
Pirates win!
(This story is taken from the book, “A General History of the Robberies and Murders of the Most Notorious Pirates” by Captain Johnson – an obvious pseudonym – first released in 1724)
Companion to Day 1
Oh no! Captain Sol is barely alive and our main character is unconscious! What will happen next!?!
Some of my friends predicted the following:
Day 2
Dead.
Day 3
Still dead.
Day 4
Starting to bloat.
Felicity Banks 