Daylight Day 9: Story so far
2 Oct
EMO used to stand for ‘emotional’ – the teen subgroup that’s only happy to be sad. Now it’s become a disease eerily similar to vampirism.
*
My name’s Bell. I considered being EMO once, but then I saw a pretty butterfly and got over myself. Got bored and decided to save the world.
*
This is the documentary tale of the brave few fighting to find a cure for EMO (or, failing that, a quick and easy way to kill all those vampires dead).
3 Oct
In Civic, Ed kissed me and sighed. “Oh, Bell. Cloudy days are so deep.”
“Oh no!” I cried. “Ed, tell me you haven’t been bitten by an EMO!”
*
He didn’t laugh once at our preview of “Saw VI”. I yanked him into a rare patch of sun – and he sparkled. My boyfriend had turned EMO!
*
Finally he confessed: “My mum bit me.”
“Your MUM!?”
He sighed, “Sad, I know.”
“Do you want to drink my blood now?”
“Er. . . no,” he lied.
4 Oct
On the news: “The EMO subculture has now become a pandemic. EMO teens can be recognised by their depression, dark clothes, and bad poetry.”
*
I walked in the yard just as Mum set some weeds on fire. “Mum,” I said through the smoke, “Ed’s EMO.”
“That’s nice dear.”
*
My name’s pretty bad, but my brother is Pi. He’s ten and wears a labcoat. I told him, “Ed’s EMO.”
“Hm. Can I do experiments on him?”
“NO!”
5 Oct
“Ed, it’s the holidays. Don’t you feel a LITTLE happy?”
“No,” he said. “Bell, would it be okay if I drank you – just a little?”
“NO!”
*
“Exodermal Melanin Occlusion is spreading fast,” the news said. “Symptoms now include sparkling in sunshine, darkening hair, and whining.”
*
Ed tried to bite me, and I tripped over another EMO as I dodged him. Bruised my knees. Still not EMO, despite my black hair and long fringe.
6 Oct
Still not EMO, despite drenching rain. All the EMOs are thrilled they’re not sparkling today (Ed almost smiled). Bring back the sun!
*
“Cheer up,” said Mum, “I’ve decided to have a wedding.”
“But. . . you’re married.”
“Don’t spoil it. It’s exactly what all those EMOs need.”
7 Oct
I was dying my hair when Ed called. “Want to play EMO baseball with my family?”
“No.”
He cried until I hung up.
My hair turned green. Oops.
8 Oct
Pi asked me for Ed’s old hairbrush, so I humoured him and brought it. He said, “Bell, I think there might be a cure for EMOs!”
*
Still not EMO, although Ed keeps trying to bite me. Awkward!
9 Oct
Mum said, “Don’t you just love weddings?”
“Does Dad even know?”
“Hush,” said Mum.
Our shopgirl wept quietly as she pinned Mum’s dress.
———————————————————————-
And a quick please-don’t-flame-me reiteration: EMOs are not emos. EMOs are vampires (with a hint of zombie). Yes I am mocking emos, but keep in mind this is fictional territory. If you don’t like it – sorry. If you honestly think it’s harmful, please let me know and I will consider your argument/s.
Daylight Day 7: Pi
Pi asked me for Ed’s old hairbrush, so I humoured him and brought it. He said, “Bell, I think there might be a cure for EMOs!”
*
Still not EMO, although Ed keeps trying to bite me. Awkward!
——————————————————
Okay, I confess: Pi is my favourite character.
His real name is Peter, but he took the name Pi after discovering (age five) what it meant. Pi the number is roughly 3.1415986535 (I think it repeats – but only after several thousand decimal places). The symbol looks like a wobbly table (I bet there’s a way to type it, but not one that I know). It’s very handy for heaps of circle-related things in maths (for example 2 x pi x the radius will get you the circumfrence of a circle).
Pi himself is short for his age, short-sighted, and has sticky-uppy hair due to the fact that he rarely remembers to brush it. He’s not based on anything from “Twilight”. If he’s based on anything, it’s the mad scientists from the “Girl Genius” comic book series. They’re the type of people that wake up one morning to find a giant chainsaw-wielding robot beside the bed – and have to figure out what they made it for (and how to survive until breakfast).
Except for the superpower-type intellect, Pi is the character I most relate to.
Blood
PG for mention of adult content.
I (more or less) achieved something today I’ve been trying to do for around thirteen years. It wasn’t major book publication. It was donating blood.
I always seem to have a cold or some other minor illness, or a recent tattoo, or a bad medication. Plus it’s simply an unfamiliar task (yesterday, I mopped two and a half rooms for the first time. It took all day, and I only managed it by using no soap or bucket – just cold water from the tap. Even in my own house, an unfamiliar task spins my world into disarray. Either that, or cleaning is just a health risk).
My husband and I went to donate blood some months ago, and there was some reason I couldn’t do it (a cold, I think). He did, and I at least got to know what the waiting room etc looks like (making the place slightly more familiar).
It really creeped me out even then. I think it’s that doctors (if they’re any good) do a convincing job of seeming to care. Most of the time I feel I’m able to hide my craziness behind the simplest of facades – but not with doctors. Weird but true. Also there’s SO much occupational health and safety stuff that I feel certain something horrible is about to happen (OH&S always has this effect on me – it was arguably the number one reason I decided to quit regular classroom teaching).
I tried to set up an appointment for last Monday (public holiday), so my partner and I could go together. Not surprisingly, it was closed. But I made an appointment for just me, today. Even at the time I realised it was dumb.
I’m a little anaemic, plus anxiety makes me sluggish and unco – as if I’m drunk, sometimes. And there was no knowing if I’d have a weird first-donation reaction like fainting or something. (I’ve had dozens of shots, but have become less and less able to deal with the slightest bit of pain or blood. I’m turning into a friggin’ GIRL!)
Aaaannyway. . .
The preceding night and morning I ate a LOT and drank (water) even more – as per the web site instructions.
I got hopelessly lost on the way (already having a panic attack – crying, and unable to remember even the simplest directions for more than half a second), but luckily stumbled across the right street, and even parked in the right place. That was the first hurdle. The second was getting a parking permit from reception, putting it in my car, and going back in.
This is the kind of thing I find really difficult – not sure why. On the way out I dropped the ticket at the door, struggling to not cry, to carry my bag, and to push the door open. As I picked it up, I stumbled into the door and a nurse (or someone – I averted my face) asked if I was all right. I wasn’t able to answer.
Put permit in car. Closed and locked car. Went back in. Picked up folder with form in it. Filled out form (no I have never had man to man sex). Another hurdle down.
Waited, reading a book I’d prepared earlier and eating lollies I’d also prepped.
Had my “interview” where they follow up on the form (“Are you SURE you’ve never had man to man sex? And how recently have you not had man to man sex?” – okay, I admit they didn’t follow up on that bit) and also prick a finger very slightly to test your iron levels (which for me they did twice because the first reading was incorrect). Didn’t cry. Mentioned anxiety without crying. All good. Managed to take off my jacket without braining myself or the nurse, or flailing enough to damage expensive medical equipment (clothes freak me out, too. Especially heavy outer clothing).
The nurse could tell I’d drunk a lot because my blood was flowing beautifully. Yay for gushing torrents of blood.
She gave me a first-timer sticker for my shirt, so people “know to keep an eye on you”.
Went into the big room with the comfy chairs and the ominous arm-rests. It reeked of efficiency, competence, and sanitation. I actually liked the fact that the chairs look like dentist’s chairs – dentists are usually borderline psychotic (in my opinion) and don’t really care if you’re in pain. I like that.
Sat down fine, and was more or less okay as they put a strap on my upper arm and poked at my veins while I squeezed a foam ball.
Blood is life-force. Every writer knows that. I’d tried not to think of the symbology of what I was doing – having my life-force sucked away in the goriest possible way not involving CGI monsters. Naturally, I failed.
Oh, and of course I had to try to keep still. (I’ve heard that’s the toughest aspect of Chinese water torture.)
The instant the needle went in my arm, I cried – quickly attracting a small crowd. I was very lucky – I was still able to speak (“it’s just anxiety, no it doesn’t hurt, nothing’s physically wrong”) and I was mercifully snot-free (since there was no way I could blow my nose).
Someone fetched me a drink of water (with a straw) which actually was extremely helpful – symbolically, the intake of water balanced the outtake of blood, so I felt that I wasn’t losing anything.
Unfortunately, it turns out I was wrong about my anxiety being only crippling and humiliating to me. It turns out it slows blood flow, too. The staff got some blood, but it was so sluggish they thought their machine was either broken or about to be broken, and they gave up.
So. . . fail. But success too, because they have enough of my life-force to tell me my blood group “for next time” – which is something I’ve always wanted to know.
I cried plenty more in the recovery room (weeping into my free strawberry milkshake and chewing morosely on my jellybeans of shame), and SMSed my husband to please leave work and take me home – which he did.
For obvous reasons, I’m never going back.
Daylight Day 6: Twilight Review
I was dying my hair when Ed called. “Want to play EMO baseball with my family?”
“No.”
He cried until I hung up.
My hair turned green. Oops.
——————————————————————————————
Since this refers to a specific incident in the “Twilight” book, here’s my review (apologies to those who’ve seen it in the other blog). It’s worth noting that I wrote this long before coming up with the idea for “Daylight”. . . but you can see exactly where the vampire/emo inspiration began.
STEPHANIE MEYER
Twilight (I only read the first one)
Excellent writing style, good characterisation of the hero (for sympathy – it irks many readers that she has no flaws whatsoever). Almost no plot (other than romance) for hundreds of pages, which annoyed me (there’s about 100 pages of action at the end). The whole basis of the romance seemed to be physical (rather than anything to do with the personality/lack thereof of either party), which also annoyed me.
MUCH angst. Much talking about angst. Probably would have been better at half the length.
Rating: PG (sexual symbolism) to M/MA later in the series (on-screen sex). Mild violence.
Recommended for: emos. (ooh, the claws come out!)
Approximate quote: “Ooh, you’re ever so pretty. It’s so hot that you want to eat me! I’d rather DIE than be single, wouldn’t you? Oh that’s right, you are dead. . . Let’s have babies!”
Daylight Day 5: Wedding Advice
Still not EMO, despite drenching rain. All the EMOs are thrilled they’re not sparkling today (Ed almost smiled). Bring back the sun!
*
“Cheer up,” said Mum, “I’ve decided to have a wedding.”
“But. . . you’re married.”
“Don’t spoil it. It’s exactly what all those EMOs need.”
——————————————————–
Wedding advice:
Step 1: Elope.
Step 2: Apologise for eloping.
Daylight Day 4: Science
“Ed, it’s the holidays. Don’t you feel a LITTLE happy?”
“No,” he said. “Bell, would it be okay if I drank you – just a little?”
“NO!”
*
“Exodermal Melanin Occlusion is spreading fast,” the news said. “Symptoms now include sparkling in sunshine, darkening hair, and whining.”
*
Ed tried to bite me, and I tripped over another EMO as I dodged him. Bruised my knees. Still not EMO, despite my black hair and long fringe.
——————————————————————
And, for those of you who want to know how it works:
EMO is a Retrovirus (i.e. a DNA-altering virus) which infects the outer layers of the skin. It modifies the cell’s Melanin genes so that the cell produces Silicate Crystals instead of normal Melanin.
This has the following effects:
1. It makes the infected very pale and sparkly (kind of like if they were coated in countless tiny beads of glass)
2. The Silicate crystals produced pass into the bloodstream and build up in the Brain – particularly in the Hypothalamus, Amygdala (Dysfunction of which is associated with Photophobia – aversion to light – and sometimes with compulsive biting behaviour), and the Anterior Cingulate Gyrus (disruption of which results in extreme apathy and emotional blunting).
THANK YOU to my writing group for coming up with “Exodermal Melanin Occlusion”, and especially to Ben Crispin who came up with the above.
Daylight Day 3: Apology
On the news: “The EMO subculture has now become a pandemic. EMO teens can be recognised by their depression, dark clothes, and bad poetry.”
*
I walked in the yard just as Mum set some weeds on fire. “Mum,” I said through the smoke, “Ed’s EMO.”
“That’s nice dear.”
*
My name’s pretty bad, but my brother is Pi. He’s ten and wears a labcoat. I told him, “Ed’s EMO.”
“Hm. Can I do experiments on him?”
“NO!”
———————————————————————–
The story is barely three days old and already I’ve discovered that the depressed emo is largely a myth (most emos TODAY just wear unusual clothes and hair).
Obviously (I hope) I don’t want real emos killed – or harmed in any way.
It’s important to note that the EMOs of “Daylight” are actually vampires. Not emos. They’re also not at all a fair representation of real emos from any time or place. Because what’s funny about reality?
I can certainly see why some people find the story highly offensive. That is not the intent of the story, and I am wholeheartedly sorry for causing anger and for using stereotypes. However I have decided to continue with the story because I believe that depression absolutely SHOULD be laughed at. If you look at my alternative blog, https://felicitybloomfield.wordpress.com you’ll see that I spend a lot of my time online mocking myself and my own mental illness (which I’ve now had for five years).
So, in conclusion – this is NOT a story about real EMOs. I borrowed a little from real life, a lot from “Twilight”, and even more from my own imagination (and the recent swine flu pandemic hysteria). If you are an emo, please take this chance to laugh at what could have been. If you are depressed, please use whatever strength you have to find a way to be a little less depressed.
Some resources for the mentally ill:
Your local doctor can prescribe you medication (depression isn’t something you chose – it’s something wrong with the chemicals in your head. So why not fix it, like every other sickness?)
If you’re a woman in Canberra, you can get free counselling from the Women’s Health Centre. Their number is 6205 1078. They’re EXCELLENT. And if you’re any Australian woman, I bet they can give you a number to call in your area.
Here’s a blog I wrote with some advice:
https://felicitybloomfield.wordpress.com/2009/06/23/advice-for-the-newly-insane/
And here’s a blog about someone else’s very funny misery:
http://hospitalnotes.blogspot.com/
And another funny blog about metalheads – who are also famous for being unhappy (but are actually normal people) – this blog is written BY a metalhead (a very happy, cheerful individual both online and in real life), who is currently travelling Europe (finding as many metal fests and shops as possible):
Daylight Day 2: “Am I an EMO?” quiz
In Civic, Ed kissed me and sighed. “Oh, Bell. Cloudy days are so deep.” “Oh no!” I cried. “Ed, tell me you haven’t been bitten by an EMO!”
*
He didn’t laugh once at our preview of “Saw VI”. I yanked him into a rare patch of sun – and he sparkled. My boyfriend had turned EMO!
*
Finally he confessed: “My mum bit me.”
“Your MUM!?”
He sighed, “Sad, I know.”
“Do you want to drink my blood now?”
“Er. . . no,” he lied.
—————————————————————————-
“Am I an EMO?” quiz
1. Would you LIKE to be an EMO?
2. Are most of your clothes black?
3. Do you like to share poetry about your feeeeelings?
4. Does your fringe hang longer than your eyebrows?
5. Do you find “Daylight” completely unfunny (along with everything else in creation)?
Bonus questions:
6. Do you have strong urges to drink blood?
7. Have people’s necks and veins suddenly become more attractive to you?
8. Is your hair turning darker without needing to be dyed?
9. Are your teeth unusually sharp, especially when you feel peckish?
10. Do you sparkle in an annoyingly pretty fashion whenever the sun hits you?
Answers: If you answered yes to one or more questions, YOU ARE IN DANGER!
Public Health and Safety Regulators recommend that you DO NOT drain your friends and neighbours of their blood – no matter how tempting it might be.
THIS MEANS YOU!
Writing Daze
Today is Friday, roughly halfway through school holidays. While I usually have at least an hour or so of work even in holiday weeks, this week I’ve had nothing. Nada. No-one.
This is sort of good, because it means there’s a lot less in my life to cause daily panic. On the other hand, an entire week of sitting looking at my carpet isn’t good for me either.
So I decided to double my writing quote this week – bringing it to forty hours. It’s been dreamy. On Monday I spent eight hours working on ONE CHAPTER. Is there anything more wonderful?
I’ve been craving some novel-editing work for a while, but knew I didn’t have the headspace for it. As a general rule, the longer I take to edit a small amount of work, the better my writing is going.
I’m running low on steam today, but right now I’m in my 36th hour, so the fact that I have any steam at all is remarkable. Today I’ll finish the chapter I’m on and do one more, then stop – probably until next Wednesday. That way, I’ll have built up plenty of enthusiasm just in time for the climax and end of the book. I have a bit of work on Monday and Tuesday, so I’ll work on short stories those days.
Today I also launched “Daylight” – my twitter tale mocking “Twilight” (and all emos*). I bet it’s more popular than “Worse Things Happen at Sea”, because it’s pure, unadulterated humour.
Altogether, a good week. And I’ve saved up a week’s worth of writing quota for when my husband and I visit China next year.
*An emo is basically a person who is proud of being depressed. It’s a recently-developed and HIGHLY unpopular subgroup.
Daylight Day 1: FAQ
EMO used to stand for ‘emotional’ – the teen subgroup that’s only happy to be sad. Now it’s become a disease eerily similar to vampirism.
My name’s Bell. I considered being EMO once, but then I saw a pretty butterfly and got over myself. Got bored and decided to save the world.
This is the documentary tale of the brave few fighting to find a cure for EMO (or, failing that, a quick and easy way to kill them all).
———————————————————————————————————————
1. What is an EMO?
In this story, EMO stands for Exodermal Melanin Occlusion – fundamentally, EMOs are vampires, but more whiny (thank you, Stephanie Meyer).
In real life, emos are a group within Western culture who are universally hated and mocked for their determination to be depressed – and to share their depression with the world by wearing predominantly dark clothes (often with one brilliantly-coloured item, eg red shoes), by mooching about with misery etched on their faces, and by writing the world’s worst poetry.
The fact of the matter is that the whiny, depressed type of emo is now very rare – today’s emos just wear dark clothes and unusual hairstyles. But this story is about the “historical” emos – and, since the “Twilight” book is so true to the historical emo vibe, I decided to make vampirism and emo the same thing.
Here’s the most emo picture I can find in my photo album (send me YOUR emo pics at fellissimo(at)hotmail(dot)com). Note the “deep” expression, the hair hanging in my eyes, the self-conscious pose, and the otherworldly clothing.
Bella and Edward (from “Twilight”) spend most of their time repeating things like, “I’d rather die than live without you” and “If you stay, I don’t need Heaven.” They (and the books as a whole) are brim-full of emo angst untainted by any trace of rationality or getting a life.
2. What’s a twitter tale?
A twitter tale is a story written especially to be released on twitter. Mine are told in real time (so if the story takes three months for us to get through, it also takes three months for the characters – in this story, they also experience things like Christmas Day at the same time we do). Each tweet is like a tiny chapter. Day 1 is like a prologue.
3. Do you really hate Stephanie Meyer and/or “Twilight”?
No, I actually think she’s a good writer – I just hate her plot and characters.
4. So are you retelling “Twilight”?
No. I tell my own stories. The greatest similarity is between my Ed character and the character of Edward. They’re both whiny, annoying and fundamentally NOT worth going out with. And above all, they’re both EMO.
5. Why are you writing twitter tales?
For fun, and because it’s a way for the general public to get to know me before my books come out (I write adventure fantasy books for young people – strictly non-emo).
6. Where is this story set?
In Canberra, the capital of Australia (same time zone as Sydney).
7. Why are you victimising emos – shouldn’t you be trying to help?
I’m mocking them mostly because they’re an easy target. But, since I’m mentally ill myself, I have some claim to the idea that the best thing for depression is to laugh at it.
6. More info?
My twitter site is http://twitter.com/Louise_Curtis_ (you need to manually add the final underline – or simply click at the top of the twitter feed on the right hand side of this page). It’s a great place for new twitter users to join and automatically follow me. I only use twitter for stories, not for saying what I’m eating or how I feel.
My alter ego, Felicity Bloomfield (who writes predominantly for adults) has a blog at https://felicitybloomfield.wordpress.com. It’s still PG (like this one) but sometimes has links or stories that aren’t (those are clearly labelled). A lot of it’s about the experience of being mentally ill and/or the life of a writer.
Felicity Banks 