Houses & Fashion Part One
I have developed a full-blown Autistic special interest in houses—massive dream houses specifically, but along the way I have found many things that I now vehemently believe are simply INCORRECT… or in some cases, wonderful and brilliant.
I’m a white woman living in the Capitalist Western World, so of course I have that most basic b*tch of basic b*tch longings: a bigger house. Many people in my generation will never have a house at all (thanks, billionaires!). I actually own my house, which is amazing considering that I am a Millennial AND someone who is disabled by chronic illness. (My husband Chris has a decent job, which obviously is crucial, and we both have financially stable parents who have helped us greatly in many ways. Also I used to have amazing self-control eg I didn’t buy ANYTHING baby-related when I was pregnant with my first kid, because I knew I’d be super tempted but also receive some gifts.)
Pictured: Things I buy unnecessary toys for frequently.
I literally dream of houses, quite often—it started before we bought our own house and continued afterwards. Despite that I felt guilty about owning a house at all due to my awareness of serious third world poverty plus the fact I’m living on Stolen Land. From the age of 12 to 24 I was going to live in Indonesia as an unpaid aid worker, and I’ve never truly resolved the inherent injustice of my privilege compared to some of the Third World communities I’ve known.
But in 2019 I had an epiphany that I don’t have to suffer in order to help others. That very much led to the Castle of Kindness Refugee Sponsorship Group (aka, staying in Australia while still helping the 3rd world). At the same time, I personally have many unmet needs due to being disabled, and part of the whole 2019 epiphany involved thinking about what kind of home would best support my own needs and gifts. I designed a ‘Castle’ where multiple families could live. It had a pool and two spas (one inside and one outside, for enjoying the views and the outside world), with two lifts leading upstairs, a free food pantry, and the capacity for medium-sized community events such as big-screen movie nights and cooking classes (multiple ovens), etc. I wanted it to be completely wheelchair accessible, with features for Hard of Hearing and Vision Impaired people too, as I’m very aware that disabled people struggle to find appropriate housing. And it needed to be close to a shopping hub, so newly-arrived refugees could walk to the shops easily. I am also very aware that most refugee families have at least one chronic health condition (often poorly understood, much as fibromyalgia is poorly understood) and usually sore muscles from stress alone (plus prejudices against mental health care that take time to overcome)—so the spas were not just useful to my own chronic pain, but would be a resource for refugees and other chronically ill people. This ‘castle’ would also be able to act as an evacuation centre for disabled or autistic people who are especially ill-suited to the usual evacuation centres. And it would be built to excellent climate standards, with solar (and a solar power battery for protection as the weather grows more severe), and incredible air filters etc for the next time Canberra has a major smoke issue. And it would look like a castle (or otherwise iconic), because that would be awesome.
Since I have seen miracles happen before (particularly the financial kind as I’ve always been a low earner), I confidently expected this ‘Castle’ to someday, somehow come into being. Most of the time I still do, even though it’s obviously a huge expensive dream that I’m entirely incapable of working towards in any financial sense. And quite a selfish one too, so perhaps God would choose not to make this particular miracle happen.
Every so often, if there was a big house for sale in my area, I’d go to the Open House and think about whether it would meet any of the goals of this longed-for ‘Castle’. Over time my dreams changed quite a bit-for example, I definitely DON’T want to share a house with anyone, no matter how big it is (although having a separate, lockable section for short-term accommodation for newly-arrived refugees would be EXTREMELY helpful). And now I’ve fallen deeply into cat fostering, I want specific things that would help with that (both in terms of hygiene and in terms of cat joy… and a customer space for a small business running cat encounters).
And I’ve looked at houses more and more, and found that my husband also likes looking at houses, and so does one of my best friends, and I have dived deep into current house/design fashions, and started becoming more and more obsessed.
So here we are.
The first, most obvious thing about modern houses is that a LOT of them have a flat roof and are shaped like a box. This gives an impression of clean lines and can look cool, but it’s SO DUMB and is going to make so so many houses look extremely dated.
They only possible reason to have a flat roof is to have a grass roof on top, and no one is doing that, so there’s absolutely no benefit to this weirdly pervasive trend.
Even a little bit of originality can considerably improve the look of a house. This is a house that recently sold, and in my opinion the offset look of the boxes improves it considerably (but it also means it’s split-level, which is very bad for anyone with dodgy knees or balance issues).
A lot of homes have a slant on one side, which keeps the boxy look so many people are apparently so fond of, but doesn’t go as aggressively as some houses (which are literally rectangular from the front).
This particular house also demonstrates four other traits:
- Render: Render has been hugely popular in houses for a couple of decades now, and I confess I much prefer the ‘plain’ look of render to the ‘busy’ look of brick. Yep, I’ve fallen for the fashion. Also, you can draw on them with chalk really well, which is fun. And they improve your energy rating, which is good for the planet and good for your bills.
- White. There is a LOT of white in new houses lately. It is striking and looks super clean and new… for a while. I like the drama of a mostly-white facade, but I suspect I’d regret it in time (or just paint it another colour, which is a relatively easy way to instantly make a house iconic eg, paint it lime green).
- At least two textures. This house has white render, grey render, a bit of brick, and a bit of wood between the two upstairs windows. This is more than fashion—this is the law. Houses in new suburbs must have at least two textures. I actually like this, except when there are two feature textures next to each other, then I find it WAY too much.
- Wooden features are super cool, but also quite high maintenance. Worth it, though, in my opinion. I love wood. There are often stone or pretend-stone features, which I also LOVE. Wood and stone in the same building is great too, depending on what is where.
- Sandstone. In this case it’s the mailbox and a bit of retaining wall. There’s a lot of sandstone around and I LOVE it. Especially when the pieces are irregular rather than all rectangular. The only exception is if it’s placed somewhere that instantly stains (eg garden edging, where muddy water will run down over it).
Of course, the best thing about new houses is they have increasingly impressive energy ratings—I’ve seen up to 7.5.
So, in conclusion: Render is great; white is risky but replaceable; wood and stone is great if placed correctly; boxes are extremely stupid.
This is the way.
Houses are increasingly large on smaller and smaller blocks, which is obviously bad because it doesn’t leave enough green space for human well-being or for the well-being of the suburb (eg the entire suburb will be hotter in Summer and colder in Winter). And, the street frontage is much smaller too, in some cases making places an absolute nightmare as there is not enough parking for even ordinary life, let alone a party or event. This will definitely result in major fire damage at some point, as streets literally become impassable. Sometimes there is not a single visitor parking spot—no driveway, and a street too narrow to park on the street (except people still do park on the street, obviously). Ugh.
Garages doors often have windows or something that looks like wood. This is great as they’re a big part of the look of the house. (I really like arches, but I prefer a double garage with one big door because that’s just easier to get in and out.)
Felicity Banks 