The Crimes of Which I Am Accused
Unfortunately, that title is not a joke.
It’s been almost two years since most of this happened, but I know there are people out there who still believe certain things about me that are simply not true. Given the seriousness of the accusations, I want to very briefly say what happened so I can direct people here both now and in the future.
Summary:
I never did anything illegal.
I never did anything cruel or neglectful.
Rather than ‘kidnapping’ two kittens, I was trying to protect them from neglect—and I was right to do so.
In late December 2023 I began minding an incredibly friendly kitten as a foster for one of the many local cat rescue groups. I’ll call my main contact person Bob (although they are female). In consultation with Bob, I added five more kittens to the group. They all got on extremely well very quickly, and were also very friendly towards humans. One day it occurred to me that they were ideally suited to be the feline staff of a ‘cat cafe’—a small business in which people pay to play with cats. I’ve always wished Canberra had a cat cafe. In the past I’ve run several micro businesses, all of them ultimately making a profit (which is remarkable and mainly due to minimal up-front costs). So I realised that in some ways I was the perfect person to start a Canberra cat cafe where people could enjoy playing with kittens: the kittens could get a wider range of humans to socialise them (something that is recommended by the RSPCA); and I could make money from one of the few things I am able to do (I am disabled by chronic illness and cannot earn enough to even pay for my medical costs—but I have to try to earn something because life is expensive).
I soft-launched “Tabby Time” by posting on a few FaceBook groups. I was extremely clear that this particular Cat Cafe would not serve food or coffee, and would be held in my very ordinary and often messy house (I do tidy my home, but there are four people living here and all four of us have special needs of some kind). There was an immediate enthusiastic response. Then, within days, someone (who does not live in Canberra) posted on reddit, offended that I would charge money without a fancy venue or coffee. A lot of people mocked me or were offended, but I didn’t especially mind as anyone who knows anything about cat cafes knows that, for hygiene reasons, they often DON’T serve food or drink. And, anyone who loved cats would instantly understand that the cats were the point and this was a cool thing to have in Canberra.
People quickly decided my cat cafe was illegal, because it was not yet insured. I was, as always, very open about my insurance status. It is unwise but not illegal to run a business without insurance, and I had guessed correctly that public liability insurance would cost a huge amount (over $2000/year; considerably more than the cafe was ever likely to earn). This whole cat cafe was just a tiny thing for a few cat lovers to enjoy. The goal was to connect cats and people without making my life worse, and to maybe get bigger if it all worked well.
The closest I came to doing something illegal was saying that if people were thirsty I could give them some water, tea or Milo. I never actually DID give anyone anything to eat or drink because they were always so enthralled by the cats they didn’t feel hungry or thirsty BUT it is technically illegal for a small business to give someone a glass of tap water without a food preparation licence. (Later on I supplied bottled water for this reason.)
So no, I did not ever run an illegal business.
The tide turned online when someone decided that I was cruel to animals. This was either based on my appearance of incompetence; the accusations of running an illegal business; or simply the fact that most cats (including my two non-foster cats, one of whom is pictured below watching a bird) absolutely WOULD hate the very concept of a cat cafe.
But.
I. was. never. and. will. never. be. cruel. or. neglectful. towards. animals.
Let’s break this up into three parts.
- The idea that a cat cafe is innately cruel.
The majority of kittens I foster love having new human visitors. For example, the kittens I am fostering right now typically have play times lasting twenty or thirty minutes. When two of my volunteers visited a few days ago, they played for an hour and a half, including climbing all over the volunteers.
I never ran many cat cafe sessions (it was never open for more than a few hours at a time, either—my illness means I get too tired to function very quickly, plus of course the kittens would get tired) but I facilitated a lot of very special moments, such as teenage boys melting when the kittens chose to nap on their lap, and a young girl slowly getting over her fear of cats.
For me, running a cat cafe was exactly like inviting cat-loving friends over to play with my foster kittens. The only difference is that I have extremely high hygiene standards now (which have stayed even though the cafe is closed), and I let strangers visit, and they paid me. For the kittens the experience is identical—and fun.
More importantly, my kittens choose their level of interaction. They are able to leave the visitor space at any time! Any human visitors are only allowed in one section of my house, and there are always high places, hiding places, AND exit routes for the kittens.
The humans are also supervised very closely, and not allowed to pick up the cats unless I say it is okay (for example, when a kitten is sitting at their feet literally meowing to be picked up).
2. The idea that a cat cafe is innately exploitative.
Exploitation can mean “to use resources” or it can mean “to treat someone unfairly in order to benefit”. A few people really hate the idea of a cat foster gaining any kind of benefit from fostering cats. I agree that I should not do anything that harms the cats (including causing them stress—other than when a small amount of stress is good for them, eg getting slowly used to the sound of a vacuum cleaner in order to have a happier life in the long term). But I do not agree that someone should never make a profit from doing a job that is worthwhile! Teachers and vets and nurses and zookeepers and doctors and many many other professionals are doing important work. In an ideal world, all jobs would be paid. Writers! Foster carers! Those caring for unwell relatives! Artists! Etc! And yes, it’s rare for foster carers to be paid. But the best cat cafes benefit the human workers (who get paid), the customers (who get to play with cats), AND the cats—both because they get more attention (on their own terms), and because any foster cats are more likely to be adopted. That’s a win-win-win scenario. Fantastic!
3. The idea that a cat cafe is unsafe (for either humans or animals).
Human visitors need to be told that there is always a risk of scratches from cats—even the most well-trained cat will dig its claws in if it loses its balance. If a cat cafe doesn’t have a special glassed-in area for food and drink, it’s probably not hygienic to eat or drink there. I kept anti-histamines, spray disinfectant, and bandaids on hand as well as various other first-aid supplies.
Humans also need to sanitise their hands before they touch the cats, and when they leave. And they need to be supervised. I use F10 vet-grade sanitiser and stay in the room. Generally my customers get a free lecture on cat care and communication, whether they want it or not, because that’s how I roll (cats are an Autistic special interest for me).
If the cats are unwell, the cafe closes until they’re fully recovered.
I also vaccinate the kittens before they see anyone, and I arrange for them to have their second vaccination before adoption (as far as I know I am the only foster organisation that does both kitten vaccinations).
Here’s another litter I fostered and found homes for:
There are two more things I was accused of at around that time, both related to the agency I was working for.
First, that I never asked their permission to run a cat cafe. This has been perpetuated by Bob2, who I didn’t really interact with until he showed up at my house. If Bob didn’t communicate things to her co-worker, that is actually not my fault.
In fact, when I brought up the idea of a cat cafe Bob said, “If it helps with fostering, go for it.” We continued talking about it before I started it, and when it was running. She had only a vague idea of what a cat cafe was, and we were both taken by surprise that it attracted so much attention so quickly—but I respect her and her work, and I’m not stupid enough to launch a small business without asking the boss if it’s okay!
Things got so wild that some people said they were withdrawing donations from that agency. At least one of them was lying in order to get attention, but this was still devastating news for anyone who cares about cats because taking money away from foster agencies means cats will definitely die. There are way too many homeless cats out there, and not enough foster agencies to care for them all. When we say no to a cat, we know they may get put down. It’s devastating. (I know at least one agency that takes on way way too many cats for this reason, literally keeping dozens in a single very cramped and stinky house. I know another that euthanises kittens immediately.)
Other people online saw what was happening, immediately understood that people were hearing rumours and lies and causing real harm, and tried to donate to the foster agency. But the foster agency was so disturbed by all of this that they refused donations for a time. Because reputation matters that much.
I was desperate to protect the agency so I encouraged them to make me a scapegoat, even while they always made it clear that I had never been cruel or neglectful to the animals in my care. I know now it would have been smarter for them to say, “We stand by our foster carer. We would not have let her foster kittens if we were not confident that she is trustworthy.” and then to ignore any further chaos. Oh well.
The RSPCA and the Department of Domestic Animal Safety both came and did a surprise inspection of my premises. I like to think it’s fun for them to see a bunch of healthy, happy kittens. Certainly they were perfectly content with my set-up (the only issue was that I had two water bowls in the cat-only area and they said there should be three). But of course once an internet mob scents blood, they cannot listen to reason. I’m not sure why people think that a random on reddit is more trustworthy than the two departments who specialise in animal care and safety, but here we are. (I was also reported to the NDIS because I said I thought there might be a way for people to use the cat cafe as unofficial therapy. I never encouraged fraud but to be fair I do get confused by the NDIS rules… which of course I also said up front and publicly.)
The foster agency I was working with had already decided to take away the six kittens I was fostering. The RSPCA and DAS inspections meant nothing to them (not surprisingly, since they knew the kittens were thriving in my care and were taking them away only to appease the mob).
I had already found homes for four of the kittens, and I knew that the agency did not actually have enough resources to look after “my” six as well as those they were already caring for. So I had a dilemma: to do what was best for the kittens, or to do what a bunch of abusive internet strangers wanted me to do.
As I said, I respect the agency. But I knew they were doing the wrong thing. BUT, their reputation is a matter of life and death.
I attempted to contact the future owners. One of them was not available, but the other said they did NOT want their kittens to be given to the agency. That meant that it was foster carer + future owner VS foster agency.
So I compromised: I gave four kittens back to the agency, and insisted that the last two (the two whose owner I had spoken to) either remain in my care or go directly to their new owner (this would be a foster-to-adopt situation in which he would not legally own them until they were desexed). I knew that this would look VERY bad online but as always I prioritised the health and safety of the kittens over my own well-being.
So, the final crime of which I am accused is kidnapping two kittens.
Here are the relevant facts:
- Although I had previously requested paperwork from the agency (specifically, I asked for their foster guide) they never gave me anything. The RSPCA guidelines emphasise that the RSPCA can confiscate foster kittens at any time for any reason, so although legally the smaller agency I worked with never even mentioned that they might claim back the kittens I was aware that there was precedent.
- Five of the six kittens I was fostering had never met Bob or Bob2.
- Although there was never any paperwork, Bob and I talked regularly about kitten care. She was an excellent mentor/trainer and she also had reason to know that I was an excellent foster carer. She is good at what she does.
- As soon as I said that I would not give up the last two kittens, Bob2 made me verbally agree on a recording that the kittens now belonged to me and I was responsible for any vet care that was required. Less than an hour later, the owner paid the adoption fees to Bob2. We all never mentioned that legal agreement again. So… the agency was willing to give up the kitten but immediately took it back when money was offered. This is TOTALLY FINE WITH ME and is not cruel or shocking. The only weird bit is that they tried to punish me by making me (briefly) the legal owner of those two kittens. While also screaming to the press that I kidnapped them. They didn’t show me the same consideration I showed them—protecting reputation as much as possible in order to save the lives of more cats. I am also a foster carer, and hurting me hurts the cats that I can’t save. So screw you, Bob2. You lost your temper and did the wrong thing and as a result people still hate me even though I’m innocent. However, you are a genius foster carer so I wish you every success in life.
- In about 48 hours, the kittens were at their owner’s house. My house was empty of foster kittens, through no fault of my own, and the entire ‘kidnapping’ was a beat-up.
- Remember how I mentioned that the foster agency was overwhelmed? Well, they didn’t manage to coordinate the desexing for those two kittens in time. In the ACT it is illegal to leave a kitten undesexed after three months without a permit. So yeah, the foster agency DID do something illegal. Worse, the two kittens developed behaviour problems as a result of not being desexed in a timely manner. So yeah. I was right NOT to give them up. I should probably have stuck to my guns and kept them with me for the full fostering period. (But even though the foster agency’s failure was technically illegal, they will never and should never get punished for it. We’re all doing our best here. And late desexing usually works out fine as long as no one gets pregnant.)
So, rather than kidnapping two kittens, what I actually did was sacrifice my reputation in an attempt to keep them as safe as possible.
You’ll notice there are no photos of the crucial six kittens. That’s because I deleted all the hundreds of photos and videos I took of the kittens at the request of the agency. They also never told me anything about the fate of the other four kittens. I know the second two that I had found a home for DID get to stay together and go to that home because that person knew the situation and messaged me. I have no idea if the final two kittens were ever adopted. They were healthy and well-socialised thanks to me, so I assume they landed on their feet.
The cat cafe is closed now (because of insurance, lol) but I am still fostering. It is something I can do despite my disability, and I am good at it.
This is Popcorn, who was almost certainly going to be euthanised before I took her in along with her four siblings. She was the most violent of the bunch, hissing and spitting in terror. She almost died of cat flu from the stress of being taken from the street (I told the person who caught them that any future kittens should be left longer before being caught). But they all lived, and adjusted to being house cats, and were all ultimately adopted.
I am very proud of all the work I’ve done, and I enjoy it very much. I will probably have to give it up because my I can’t justify spending thousands of dollars on fostering cats when I can’t even pay for my own medical costs. But I’ve applied for a government grant and I’m optimistic that somehow, I will be able to continue saving precious furry lives.
If you have any questions, please ask them here. If you sound sane and human, I will answer them.
I was aware at the time that I was Autistic and that quite a few people have an immediate negative reaction to Autistic people (not on purpose, I believe, and not consciously) according to various studies. I am now diagnosed as Autistic (Level 2). This partly explains my poor communication skills online, and why some people immediately feel uncomfortable around me (which makes them more quickly trust lies about me). It is also very obvious in the way I always share the worst things I can think of about myself eg my house is messy; I’m not insured. Instead of seeing my honesty as making me trustworthy, people seem to think that I must be sharing bad things in order to hide worse things. Uh, no. I’m just extremely honest. It’s an Autism thing.
Summary:
I never did anything illegal.
I never did anything cruel or neglectful.
Rather than ‘kidnapping’ two kittens, I was trying to protect them from neglect—and I was right to do so.
Prawn Canapés (for Christmas, in this case)
Several years ago, a friend of mine made amazing prawn canapés. They each had three capers on top. I remember them so fondly that I bought capers last Christmas (and hated them).
This year, I hunted down the recipe she’d started with, and found some other cool recipes along the way. One of them recommended mixing fresh chives into the cream cheese, but I found it really good without them.
So far, I have done two HIGHLY successful experiment sessions trying out various flavour combinations. It takes a lot to fill up on bite-size hors d’oeuvres, but it can be done. I’ve shared them with three other people too, including my son (it’s always a good day when he embraces a new food, and he has thoroughly enjoyed advising me on taste combinations along the way).
Each canape has a structural item—either a skewer, a slice of cucumber, or a basil leaf—that holds the whole thing together. For the cucumber, slices should be 2mm or less so it holds its shape but doesn’t overwhelm the other flavours. You should cut the cucumber on a diagonal to make the pieces bigger (and be aware that cucumber ‘sweats’ so you may need to pat your slices dry after ten minutes, especially if you put the spicy sauce on them as it doesn’t mix well with water).
I like skewers best. They’re not as floppy as leaves, and they don’t get overwhelmed by cucumber (sorry cucumber; people who love crunch will prefer you). Plus anyone who eats them keeps their fingers completely clean.
Other than structural items, I mostly stuck to a rule of three: Each canapé has a prawn (except when it doesn’t because not everyone likes prawns), a ‘sauce’, and a garnish.
So here are my ‘sauce’ items:
There is already a fundamental problem in that cream cheese and ricotta are too similar (both visually and as a taste), and so are smashed avocado and guacamole. So really one should pick a favourite of each of those pairs.
Avocado VS Guacamole:
Avocado is a refreshingly simple taste—that perfect exactly-ripe avocado flavour. With avocado, you can blend just three key flavours (prawn, avocado, and ?) and the eater can taste them all.
Guacamole has a teeny tiny bit of spice, which will sharply divide tasters. It is delightfully complex in flavour, hitting several notes in a delightful chord.
Conclusion: For younger kids or those who dislike spice, pure avocado is the winner. But for those who want something gourmet and fascinating, I’d pick guacamole for sure. You can make your own if you like, although you want to be sure it won’t brown.
Cream Cheese VS Ricotta:
Both can be savoury or sweet, but cream cheese is oh so creamy so it lends itself to a more dessert-like concoction. Cream cheese is often the base of dips because it’s so yummy. It’s indulgent and rich while still being a subtle flavour that can blend with almost anything.
Ricotta is yummy too, and also blends beautifully with almost anything, but it’s a lot lighter and (presumably) healthier.
Conclusion: For people that cheerfully throw diets out the window and want to seriously get into the most amazing/special treats on offer, cream cheese is the winner. For those that can’t handle too much rich food and/or want canapés that are genuinely healthy, use ricotta.
The “Fried Chicken Sauce” in the photo does not contain chicken. I found it in Woollies in a cardboard stand with other sauces in the fresh food area. It tastes like sweet chilli sauce mixed with mayo. At first it tastes completely sweet, and then the spice hits. It’s a real journey every time. It does burn the mouth a little, but I still enjoyed it (I’m fairly wimpy but getting much less so lately).
Garnishes!
There are two types of coconut because I wanted to experiment and see which was best (I also tried desiccated coconut but forgot to put it in this photo). The leaves are basil, and chocolate mint. There are spring onions, sweet corn, capers (lol), toasted sesame seeds, and green olives. And mango.
I chose not to use any variety of mini tomato because they’re a pain to cut up. But who knows? I may get inspired to get into them later. The red colour certainly pops, which is cool.
The olives are INTENSE in flavour and needed to be cut into eighths. The mango was also surprisingly potent as a flavour, so I cut it into quite small pieces too. The sesame seeds were terrible (and I tried non-toasted sesame seeds too). Their flavour completely vanished, and then they crunched weirdly (like bits of eggshell had accidentally fallen in the sauce) and/or tried to stick in my teeth. I think all nuts would have a similar effect, unless they were part of a sauce (eg satay sauce could be great).
The only capers I could find were in vinegar, so that is the flavour they brought to the table. Olives, obviously, are crazy salty. My own flavour inclinations lean strongly towards umami and sweetness, so it’s good to have sour and salty in the mix for other taste styles. I quite like a bit of salt sometimes, but pretty much never like anything sour. However, the capers (which I carefully dried before using) tasted interesting enough that I was reasonably happy to eat them. I think I need to find fresh capers somewhere. Probably not this year though.
The corn is pretty but just kind of boring, and feels ordinary/cheap. I think it’s worthwhile with the avocado or guacamole (a nice shout-out to South American cuisine), but not with anything else. My son and my niece are obsessed with corn, so I’ll keep it in the mix for that reason.
The chocolate mint is fairly similar to basil but doesn’t work as well taste-wise except with mango and/or cream cheese, when it shines. you can also make these without prawns for anyone who doesn’t eat prawns, although they lack structural integrity. They’re basically a dessert and are definitely a crowd-pleaser. They might work better with a leaf base but served on a spoon.
Coconut looks amazing and goes with prawns really well… but I’m still not 100% sure it worked well with these canapes. The shredded coconut had by far the best texture and the best look, but I still found the mouthfeel a little weird. But maybe weird is good—for variety, if nothing else. I liked the idea of it as a modifier for the spicy sauce, and I forgot to try it with the avo/guacamole (it’s no good with the cream cheese/ricotta, either visually or as a taste).
In this pic, the spicy sauce is paired with a single piece of spring onion, then with desiccated coconut, then coconut flakes, and finally shredded coconut. If you look at the top left piece or the bottom right, you can also see the spicy sauce seems to be melting. That is due to the fact that the prawns weren’t completely dry. So next time I’ll use more paper towels and make sure the prawns are fully dry.
Prawns! My favourite are the pre-cooked tail-off deveined Garlic Prawns, but any cooked and deveined and de-tailed prawns are good. Or you can use whatever style of prawns you personally like.
These are both sold frozen so you need to defrost them before you start. With the garlic prawns I chuck them in a fry pan for about ten minutes (then drain off a horrifying amount of butter and pat them dry). With the others I run them under cold water for about five minutes (really more like thirty seconds then I wander off for five minutes, then repeat until they’re good—and again, pat them dry with paper towels and store them in the fridge until I’m ready.
(ProTip: Make sure no cats are able to access your kitchen at this time.)
It would be a LOT less work to use bigger prawns. But I am very socially anxious, and eating any appetiser that takes more than a bite is very awkward for me. Plus I like the way that the symphony of flavours all play at exactly the same time in that one amazing mouthful. It’s an ah! moment.
These two photos show really nice mini prawn salads that healthy adults will love. And they’re delicious! That’s basil, prawn, guacamole, and spring onion on the left, and cucumber, prawn, avocado and capers on the right. Apologies for the terrible photos.
PREPARATION:
You need to get absolutely everything ready before you start, including a bowl for rubbish. You’ll need containers or plates for the finished canapés; you’ll need to prepare anything that needs draining or cutting or washing or drying; you’ll need to grab a thousand pairs of teaspoons/tongs for dishing things out (enough that if one spoon touches a prawn you can just chuck that one aside and grab a fresh one), etc. You’ll also need toothpicks. And of course cucumbers. Small basil leaves are best for garnishing; the big leaves are good for being your structural base. They curve like a little boat, which is cute.
STEP ONE
Lay out all your prawns (or as many as you can fit on your working surface). It often helps to put them directly on a plate or into your container of choice (something wide and shallow with a lid). Then wash your hands of course, before you get molecules of prawns absolutely everywhere.
You’ll definitely find some prawns that still have their digestive system attached. I always chuck them straight into the rubbish bowl because I’m squeamish; you can just peel them off yourself.
STEP TWO
Add your sauces. The supermarket avocado products don’t easily go brown, so you have loads of time. (Speaking of time, making these canapes takes a LONG time. Possibly hours.)
STEP THREE
Garnishes. And you’re done!
Store in the fridge, obviously.
My favourite garnish for the spicy sauce is a basil leaf (and put it on a cucumber if you want to make it milder). Or mango. Or MAYBE shredded coconut. I can’t decide if coconut is worthwhile or not.*
For cream cheese, I like mango best. Or basil. Or chocolate mint (regular mint would be great too). Or, weirdly, olive.
For ricotta, all the same garnishes as cream cheese work well, but it feels more savoury. Ooh! I bet it’s amazing with fresh chives.* (Sidebar: Dill sprigs look great but I hate dill. You may love it. I bet it goes well with capers or olives for a savoury double-punch.)
For avocado, I like spring onion. Or capers. I think mango was good but I can’t remember.* I bet it’s great with fresh chives too.*
For guacamole, spring onion. Or corn. Maybe olive? I can’t remember.*
*I’ll have to do more experiments.
UPDATE:
Fresh chives are too subtle a taste so they don’t really work (although they look amazing).
The smashed avo starts to brown a very little bit in the fridge from the next day (the guacamole doesn’t).
Felicity Banks 