Urg
Before I start – I’ll be running a short story competition through http://twittertales.wordpress.com (no pay, 500 words or less, PG-rated humour preferred) until the end of the year – “winners” get published on the twittertales blog.
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Frequent viewers will be aware I’m a teensy bit absent-minded.
I’ve been married almost ten months now, but I’m still surprised sometimes. Last night I was very nearly asleep when the warm body at my back moved.
My immediate reaction was, “Arg! The cat’s friggin HUGE!”
The horror! The horror!
A quote I stumbled across from someone on twitter:
No matter what side of the argument you are on, you always find people on your side that you wish were on the other. Jascha Heifetz
Last night I had a nightmare that someone I knew wrote a really really awful bestseller. I could almost stomach that, but then they wrote three more in a week, and each one was a bestseller.
AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGG!
*pause to return to reality*
I long ago realised I’d skipped the “successful adulthood” phase and gone directly to bitterness and jealousy.
Anyway. . .
Yesterday I wisely decided to stay home from a cousin-in-law’s 18th birthday party in Sydney. I felt awful about it – I really like his whole family – but it was definitely the right choice. (Family events scare me. 18-year olds scare me. Leaving my house for more than 5 hours scares me. Etc)
The fabulous thing about cancelling large events (once the self-loathing passes) is that suddenly a whole day stretches out before you, full of potential. I cleaned the cat’s litter tray (a stellar achievement), did various other minor chores, and did nine and a half hours of writing. Most of that time was spent changing one of my books from third person to first person. It’s a wonderful feeling to have finished that (including the knowledge that it now needs HEAPS of editing that it didn’t need before. I like editing from a new angle – and first person is definitely the right form for this book).
I’m pleased with the status of my novels at the moment: I have one book extremely late from a publisher I have a good relationship with; another completely different book specifically designed for another publisher (who has it right now); and a third which I’ve decided is better suited to small publishers (which hopefully means it’ll be much easier to get published. . . we’ll see), which I’ll be posting off tomorrow.
Things What I Learned Today
Before I start – since we’ve been discussing the hotness of my husband – here he is:
Things What I Learned Today:
1. Hey look! Power steering! (Drove my husband’s car today).
2. Gosh, it’s been ever so long since I drove a manual.
3. Gee, this car is real big.
4. Skittles in my lap while driving is A Bad Plan.
5. I dislike grapefruit flavoured skittles.
6. Grapefruit skittles are only available in citrus packets.
7. They’re the pink ones.
8. It’s difficult to learn new flavours, but it helps if you look at each one before you eat it.
9. It’s not that difficult to learn new flavours.
10. Hey look! Power steering!
Bonza Bonsai
Here is a tree.
It is seven inches tall. It is our first Christmas tree, and I love it.
It cost $9.48 at Bunnings.
It will eventually grow to 60cm, by which time I might perhaps purchase a larger tree. By then I will probably have children, and Christmas will be a difference experience to the experience it is now (which is mainly, “Arg! My budget! Aaaaaaarrrrg!” Actually, maybe Christmas then will be EXACTLY the same as now).
But right now – and for many years to come – it is perfect.
If you’re all very good, I might take another picture when it’s decorated – but that won’t be until December (I bought it now because conifers increase rapidly in price in November and December).
It’s not actually a bonsai. I don’t want to encourage my habit of obsessive concern with tiny things.
Hey look! That’s me in reflection.
I have owned this tree for three days, and it is not dead.
Also, the cats have not eaten it.
This is a good start.
Procrastination Fu
On weekends, I hoover and my partner cleans the bathroom.
Since we live in a two-bedroom flat, hoovering doesn’t take long. But the thought of hoovering presses on me for several days. Which is okay because I eventually do it, and then I feel great.
I haven’t hoovered yet. It’s 10pm.
In the meantime, I have:
-sent a sample of a novel (a different one) to a new publisher
-discovered another writer in Canberra and exchanged details through several emails
-dusted
-finished moving into the flat (after eight months of marriage, my partner still had stuff in boxes).
-moved our big heater down several stairs into storage, and brought up the fan.
-fixed two household items
-shaved my legs
-helped husband through the trauma of letting some of his stuff go to Vinnies
-brushed the cat
-done my first full half hour of exercise this month
-written this blog entry.
Ain’t procrastination grand? I’d never get anything done without it.
Taking a holiday TO reality
Drugs are great.
I don’t take them regularly because:
(a) They push me over that line into the “overweight” range.
(b) NOT taking drugs gives me something to fall back on when things are worse than usual.
(c) It’s really difficult to get off drugs once you’ve been on them for a few months.
I’ve taken half a zoloft each day since Tuesday, and am really enjoying my visit to rational-land. I wouldn’t quite describe myself as chipper (although I am suddenly able to enjoy things like sunshine, food, etc) but I’m myself. No violent impulses at all, which is certainly nice. Especially for my poor beloved laptop (oh, and my husband).
Still no publisher news.
I wrote a short story yesterday (yay), which those of you on my “Felicitations” list will probably see before the end of the year.
(The “Felicitations” email list gets a free short-short story at the beginning of each month. If you want to join, email fellissimo(at)hotmail(dot)com.)
The infamous Ana decided to attack the pegs on my clothes horse (which is inside due to dust still in the air). I whipped out a camera and she immediately did this. . .
My other cat, Indah, maintained her dignity as per usual:
Nerds of Today
A twelve-year old student recently asked me what my favourite TV show is. After THOROUGHLY discarding “The United States of Tara” (too much sex), “Being Human” (too much violence), “Bones” (too much gore) and “Buffy” (too old for today’s kids) I said, “The Big Bang Theory”.
“I don’t watch that one. What’s it about?” she said.
Breathing a little easier (since the Big Bang TALKS about sex so much), I said, “It’s about a group of nerds. It’s really funny, because it’s so much like my nerdy friends.”
This was the point at which the difference in our generations and social context became abruptly clear.
“Oh,” she said, “that’s a bit mean, isn’t it? Calling your friends nerds?”
I tried to gently explain that
(a) all my friends KNOW they’re nerds
(b) all my friends PREFER the company of other nerds
(c) all my friends are PROUD of being nerds
(d) I am a nerd
It was clear she didn’t believe me. She assured me I wasn’t really a nerd, and I took it as a compliment. Clearly, the discussion was causing her deep confusion bordering on distress. I could see her wondering why I’d make such an apalling claim to nerdity.
“Am I a nerd?” she said.
“No,” I said. “Absolutely not.”
She was terribly relieved, and we continued with our lesson.
Paranoia Girl. . . and fire
It’s early Spring here in Australia, and my feet were cold. I decided to warm them up with five minutes in front of my heater (which glows red-hot – highly innefficient but LOOKS warm). My cat, Ana, was sitting watching me (as she does. I have mentioned previously that she has a brain the size of half a dried pea). I pointedly put my feet very close to the heater. (“MY heater, you overfed fiend.”)
Undeterred, little Ana slid between my feet and the heater. Being soft-hearted, I let her. After a few seconds, I happened to notice smoke rising from the cat’s far side.
Yep. . . my cat had set herself on fire.
I immediately grabbed her (“Prreow?”) and hastily patted out her burning fur. She gave me an offended look, and sauntered away. The house now smells strongly of burnt fur.
I have a feeling there’s some kind of moral here. . .
Mmm. . . NICE and warm. . .
Ellen Degeneres made me cry
Okay, first of all, a confession: I sometimes watch the Ellen show.
So I was watching Ellen today, and she showed a clip of something associated with awards for “Milk”.
The person accepting the award said, “to all those gay and lesbian people who’ve been told by their church, their family, their state that they’re wrong, I want you to know, God DOES love you. . .”
So I cried – so delighted that it had been said, and so sad that it still needs to be said.
Fifty Grams: Report
Today is day 50 of my fifty-day candy-moderation plan. The rule was that I could eat only fifty grams of chocolate a day (or 100grams of other lollies). I have just one mentos left and I’ll have eaten my full quota for today (give it 30 seconds). More importantly, I have a significant pile of lollies and chocolate in my drawer ready for tomorrow (I’ll have about ten days off to go nuts, then I’ll embark on a slightly stricter fifty days).
Overall I’d call it a success – despite a rather stressful couple of months, I’ve lost a kilo and a half. (Instead of, say, gaining five kilos.) I have a higher enjoyment level with a smaller amount of candy, and I’m out of the habit of the major daily binge (200-300grams).
I still binged – I just binged on pancakes and Weight Watchers chocolate milk instead of real chocolate and lollies (which is why I didn’t lost 5 kilos, as I originally hoped). So I’ll restrict those things next fifty days, and try and binge on fruit and nuts instead.
The theory is that slow change can be maintained. That theory has been supported by the evidence.
Felicity Banks 