#170: Win a blog award
Yesterday I wandered past http://emmylennevald.blogspot.com/ and was delighted to see my own blog on the receiving end of the Versatile Blogger Awards. This award is one bloggers give each other, which makes it a special kind of award (the kind that doesn’t pay, but that’s neither here nor there).
Rule 1: Thank the person who gave you this award.
Thank you Emmy. Next time I’m hoovering in a bear costume, I’ll think of you.
Rule 2: Share 7 things about yourself.
1. My biological father is (most likely) in jail (again – he uses his computer skills to steal money, and has done so over and over again since before I existed). When I say “my Dad” you can assume I’m talking about the guy who married my mother and raised me since I was two. I don’t remember the first one, since he left when I was six months old. (Last I heard, my grandmother had spotted his name in a newspaper article saying he’d been arrested again.)
2. My phobias include noses (I don’t even like to type or say that word), weddings, sick animals, and people noticing me. This is why I wear a cloak of invisibility at all times.
3. I like the oxford comma (it’s the optional one just before the “and” in # 2).
4. I once wrote a 50,000 word book in three days. (My little fingers were really sore.)
5. I quite frequently have dreams that I’m attracted to women as well as men (*cough* hi mum. how’s things? breathing okay? good)
6. I am 175cm tall (about five foot nine). This is handy for tripping over things, looking out of place almost anywhere, and upping the national number-of-citizens-who-bashed-their-head-on-something daily average. I have converted this weakness into a strength by mocking short people at every opportunity. (And a shout-out to my oompa looma friends, Ben and Fay*! Here’s to you, kids!)
7. I am currently reading the Caiphas Cain books by Sandy Mitchell. They’re sort of really bad (set in a computer-game world, ugh), but sort of really good (excellent voice). I read several books each week, usually YA speculative fiction.
Rule 3: Pass the award along to 7 bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are fantastic.
Leaving out those Emmy mentioned, here’s mine (they’re G-rated, as far as I know, unless I say differently):
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/ very funny
http://steffmetal.com M-rated (some artsy nudity or adult themes, etc) – I am so not into metal, but Steff writes so well I follow her daily – she’s also the source of many of my awesome activities (as indicated by an “s” in the title).
http://donmilleris.com/ PG for overt Christianity. This is a guy with many issues, who mocks himself while mentioning legitimate ways to make the world better. I’m often startled (pleasantly) by his insights. He’s a NY Times bestselling author.
http://ripping-ozzie-reads.com/ – A blog shared by many excellent Aussie writers, with news and advice for writers. What a writing group!
http://www.galadarling.com/ M-rated (some artsy nudity or adult themes) Gala has the opposite personality to me, in every possible good way.
http://cba-ramblings.blogspot.com/ – A Christian literary agent who is extraordinarily kind and informative to her many wannabe-writer followers.
http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/ – you may have seen her in the Sunday paper. Nothing too heavy, but comfy and pleasant.
Rule 4: Contact the bloggers you’ve picked and let them know about the award.
I shall.
Coming soon:
Amusing wedding photos
Wear jeans
Unusual anniversary (it’ll be links to every single awesome thing so far, plus my favourite pictures)
Three-Ingredient Thursday: Breakfast (I think; suggestions welcome)
And, naturally, much more!
Here’s today’s library pic. Wear a napkin, bibliophiles. And keep an eye out for C.S. You never know when he’ll attack. . .
Once again, this is a reproduction of Candida Hofer’s Thames&Hudson book of beautiful libraries (pass your mouse over the picture to see which library it is):
Because it’s practically colonial to have just one world globe.
*Please don’t kill me with a baguette
S#29: Write to your idols
In preparation for the writing festival on the weekend, I visited the websites of most of the guest authors, and picked the five books that looked most suited to my taste – “The Ruby Talisman” by Belinda Murrell (about a modern girl who wakes up one morning next to her great-grea-great grandmother just as the French revolution begins), “The Rage of Sheep” by Michelle Collins (about a high schooler working out her life, love and faith in a rather unpleasant 80s small town – the writing was instantly involving and funny throughout), “Mischief Afoot” by Moya Green (a little young for me, but fun and funny to read), “Samurai Kids 1: White Crane” by Sandy Fussell (A bunch of kids train for a samurai contest – but all of the kids are missing limbs or sight or the desire to fight), and “The Starthorn Tree” by Kate Forsyth (about a goat-boy who must flee his home and cross class and species boundaries in order to fulfil a prophecy and depose an evil ruler).
They were all excellent. So which one blew my mind?
“Samurai Kids 1: White Crane” by Sandy Fussell.
A great book needs a great story and great characters. All the above books had that. Sandy’s book also had a sly but gentle humour leaking through every page, and an elegantly unique way of describing the main character’s feelings – through his spirit, the white crane. What is more, although it’s not a moral tale, it has a depth of hope and meaning that is unmistakable – the hero, after all, is a one-legged samurai warrior. So anything’s possible. And there’s the warrior’s code, too (minus the traditional suicide bit – it is mentioned in the book as being “old-fashioned”), which is great for people who are drawn to the idea of honour. And the gradual unfurling of the characters is wonderful. The closeness of the friendships reminds me of “The Fellowship of the Ring”.
But my favourite part was the sly but gentle humour.
Samurais aren’t allowed to handle money.
“A samurai serves because it is his duty. Not because he desires gold coins,” Sensei told us.
“How will he eat then?” Mikko asked.
“With his mouth,” Sensei answered.
I took my chance at the festival to go up to Sandy and say (rather incoherently) how wonderful she was (she was very sweet and genuinely flattered – as she should be, since I read hundreds of books each year, and my taste is impeccable). I’ll also make sure she knows about this entry.
Play along at home: Who’s your favourite living author? Tell them why.
Coming soon:
Love your fear
Friendsday Wednesday (have lunch or dinner with a friend, or just call them). http://www.facebook.com/?sk=events#!/event.php?eid=348494771209
Three-Ingredient Thursday: Dessert (quasi-healthy this time)
Make hummus
Unusual anniversary
And here’s your cthulhu quota for today:
#94: Eat novelty food
Don’t you just love an unnecessarily complex meal? I know I do. Last Friday I discovered individually stone-grilled steak at the Weston Club in Canberra (for $10 at lunch time Thursday or Friday). You get your choice of sauce (I voted mushroom), plus vegetables or salad, plus your preferred form of potato (chips, mash or roasted). This is how it looked when it first arrived:
This was brilliant stuff (unless you like your steak rare, in which case you are far too classy to be here). I spent the whole meal cutting off bits of steak, searing the sides on the stone, dunking them in mashed potato, dunking them again in the mushroom sauce, and eating. *sigh*
It was exquisite.
Play along at home: Find a club or restaurant that does similarly unnecessary stuff to food, eg. a Teppinyaki restaurant. It’s playing with your food for grown ups!
Attentive viewers would have noticed that I accidentally posted one of July’s library pics yesterday. I hope you enjoyed it. Believe me, there’s a LOT more coming – every single July day will feature either a library or a cthulu (naturally the cthulu photos will be photoshopped ever so slightly). I’m pretty sure you get smart and richer (and possibly more tentacley) just looking at them. I know I have.
Coming soon: Sexy (don’t worry, it’s child-safe – and horrifying mental picture-safe too)
Recreate movie scenes using cheese (thanks to Ben for THAT suggestion)
Three-ingredient Thursday: Dessert (one I prepped before starting my four weeks of healthy eating)
Sort wedding photos
And a surprise or two.
#159: Go to a wedding
Strange but true: I have a phobia of weddings. But on Saturday one of CJ’s cousins was married to the love of her life, so we drove up to Sydney to join the fun.
The groom promised, among other things, that “although we sometimes fight like Batman and Two-Face, I know we’ll always laugh about it afterwards – like Harlequin and the Joker.” The bride promised, among other things, “not to tune out when you talk about soccer, football, or Batman.”
Ah, l’amore.
Sure enough, the instant the bride appeared I was sold. A wedding is such a courageous declaration of love and faith that it’s impossible to stay unmoved. Plus CJ’s family is hilarious. His mother has three sisters, and each one is fascinating, intelligent, and definitely going to end up thinly-disguised in one of my books one day (including CJ’s mum. And her mum).
At their mother’s 80th, three of the sisters stole the eldest’s phone and took photos of their bellies for her to discover later (the eldest is very much the grown-up of the family). I’m pretty sure the mum did too. At my own wedding (after CJ and I had excused ourselves), my mum and CJ’s mum were talking, and my mum said, “Who IS that woman falling over, over there?”
CJ’s mum then said the immortal words, “That’s my sister.”
Fantastic.
CJ’s family has certain bogan tendencies (Aussie bogan, which tends to involve the non-ironic application of ug boots and fake tans), so the Macarena, the Nutbush, and “Mickey” were all pulled out during the reception, but luckily they also played plenty of Queen, Pink and Michael Buble (and Taylor Swift, which I confess I enjoyed). When dinner was well and truly done, fairy lights lit up the roof in circles and a disco ball threw stars across the ceiling. There were delicious pink cocktails, far too much food, two very cute lesbian couples, several small children in dresses and button-up shirts, and aunts (and thus Louise) on the dance floor. In other words, it had everything a wedding should have.
Play along at home: Next time you’re invited to a wedding, go for it. Ride the rollercoaster and wish for the best.
Coming soon: Visit godparents
Road Trip
Three-Ingredient Thursday
Community Classes
and surprises (for me, too)
S#72: Play Board Games
As a continued celebration of my five thousand writing hours, I gathered several friends to play “Up and Down the River”,
Take Two,
and the world’s best board game, Settlers of Catan.
You can actually see the cogs of my mind whirring in the above picture. Settlers takes up just enough of my mind to stop me thinking about other things, which is very very useful for people with anxiety or depression. If I don’t play it for a while, I get cravings. I will refuse to play most other board games (one side-effect of being born into a family who own literally hundreds of games). It’s not just me, either – Settlers has been voted the world’s best board game several times.
Incidentally, do you hate scrabble? I do. “Take Two” uses scrabble tiles plus any flat surface. Everyone takes seven pieces at random and builds their own crossword. Whoever uses up all their letters first calls out “Take Two” and everyone takes two more tiles. Then everyone frantically rearranges their crosswords until the cry of “take two” rings out again. You keep going until you run out of pieces, and if you care about such things you can add up your scores (letters that are used twice get counted twice). My family plays that you can use “q” with or without a “u”.
It was a fabulous afternoon/evening. Special thanks to Ben for bringing his thinkgeek remote control helicopter (although the word “control” isn’t entirely accurate). As its spinning blades of death attacked each of us in turn (generally beginning with whatever poor sod was holding the remote), I laughed so hard I cried.
Observe the expression of manly joy on CJ’s face:
Coming soon:
S#68: Silly Slippers
S#82: Old School (featuring a book called “The Gay Dolphin Adventure” – what could possibly go wrong?)
Three-Ingredient Thursday: Lunch.
Visit my godparents (yep, I have them)
Go to a wedding.
And a surprise or two.
#121: Eat CJ’s Trifle
Some time ago, I pointed out to CJ that Donkey (of Shrek fame) makes a deeply erroneous statement that goes a little bit like this: “Parfait! Everyone likes parfait! I ain’t ever heard nobody say, ‘I don’t like no parfait’.”
The fact of the matter is, I don’t like parfait (that is, trifle). At all.
When I told CJ this, he said, “But you haven’t tried my trifle.” We agreed then that I’d have to try it some day. That, my blogospheric friends, was 2007.
So finally, the month came when stars aligned and the moment for trifle was upon us. Family and friends gathered, drooling, and I shrugged noncommitally and took pictures. Here’s CJ’s much-loved recipe:
1. Fill the bottom of a large bowl with jam rolls (no cream) and tinned strawberries. Slice them up a bit with a knife. Make double-strength strawberry jelly (adding the reserved strawberry syrup) and pour it over the rolls and berries. Using the knife, cut it up much more (until, as CJ described it, you have “a pulpy mess”).
Leave it overnight to set.
Mix up custard from a powder, stirring as it cools so it doesn’t get a skin, and layer that over the jelly.
Leave it overnight to set (at this point CJ was buzzing with trifle anticipation).
Whip cream with sugar and vanilla and put it on top. Decorate with fresh strawberries.
Eat it.
So. . . what was the verdict?
Clearly, this was good trifle. But I didn’t like it. Not an entirely surprising thing, since I hate bready desserts, am neutral on jelly, and am lactose intolerant (and dislike most lactose products).
But, oddly, the custard was the best I’d ever tasted – with the texture and subtlety of caramel (which I love).
Play along at home: Make and/or eat trifle.
Coming very soon: Gratitude List
Rediscover Winter Clothes
Three-Ingredient Thursday (#1 of 10)
Go back to bed after breakfast
Celebrating a Milestone (with Yum Cha)
And more. And I should reach the supposed healthy weight range THIS FRIDAY. I’ll let you know what happens. Right now I’ve lost ground over the weekend, and I weigh 79.1 kilos.
S#56: Feed Ducks
I borrowed someone else’s children for this one.
Anyone currently residing in the antipodes will observe the blue sky in these pictures and know this was not a recent picnic. (I miss the sun so badly right now.) It happened about a fortnight ago and, since I hate and fear the outdoors, wasn’t technically my idea. All good though!
Have any of the Monty Python cast died? Because if so, I think they’ve reincarnated.
The strangest thing happened during the picnic. All of a sudden a murder of crows flapped into existence, alighting in all the trees around our picnic rug and screaming, and screaming, and screaming, for several minutes. Then they all flew away.
I’m mildly surprised none of us dropped dead. It was truly weird.
Play along at home: Next time the sun comes out (like RIGHT NOW if you’re in Canberra), flee your desk and bask for as many seconds as you can. Preferably near ducks – and away from crows. (If you live in the Northern hemisphere, I hate you right now.)
Coming soon: Marshmallow gun (almost certainly this Sunday).
Rediscover Winter clothes.
Fill your house with balloons.
Make trifle. (Or, in my case, eat it.)
Op shop shopping spree.
And some surprises.
#10: Anticipation
I believe happiness comes from having most – but not all – of what you want. As humans, we’re built to need work, but we need our work to have a point, whether it’s re-tiling the bathroom or bringing forth the zombie apocalypse. We also need at least some of our goals to be definitely attainable rather than a slender hope. (As an unpublished author, I’m an expert when it comes to slender hopes.)
So here’s some awesome things I’m looking forward to, that I know are really going to happen:
Hot air balloon ride (next year).
Second honeymoon (next year).
Celebrating random holidays (I’ll be celebrating five thousand writing hours in about a month).
Growing a mint plant (I think I’ll steal a sprig from my neighbour when they’re out).
Making my version of mint julep – with my own mint leaves.
Re-eating yum cha (when I attempted to post the blog about yum cha awesomeness, the internet ate it. Thus, I shall have to do it again).
Secret # 5 (wouldn’t YOU like to know!)
Silly slippers.
Visiting my godparents.
Eating my husband’s much-acclaimed trifle for the first time (even though I’m almost certain I won’t like it).
Visiting my grandpa in October (technically, I’ll be visiting my ready-to-pop sister at the time, but they live in the same city).
Horseback riding for my birthday (next year). I’ve been wanting to go for a proper ride (as I’ve done in the past) for ten years!
Organising a zombie walk.
Going to the coast with my family (including my pregnant sister) in two months’ time.
Visiting a lighthouse while at the coast.
Secret # 6 (the supplier has now told me “stop calling us; we’ll call you” – but I’m still going to call them)
Being inside the healthy weight range (in a few weeks’ time).
Eating ravioli for lunch (in about 35 minutes).
I really don’t know what awesomenesses I’ll be doing this week. Right now I’m hungry and tired and grumpy, and I just counted five burn marks on my arms (note to self: stoves create heat). But after writing the above list, I feel a lot better. Today’s not so bad after all – and the future is shiny.
Play along at home: What are you looking forward to? If there isn’t anything twinkling pleasantly in the back of your mind, make something up – invite a friend over more than twenty-four hours in advance, or make a plan to eat chocolate in exactly one week’s time. Or reserve a great book at the public library. Tell people exactly what you want for your birthday this year, or make your own excellent plans in the spaces between everyone else’s. Read blogs you enjoy, and/or track down someone online who makes you laugh, and renew the friendship. Write a naughty and/or self-indulgent plan here in the comments, so you HAVE to do it or you’ll be a liar.
S#74: The Old Fashioned Way
As you know, soup grows in tiny little tins on a soup tree. The tins ripen and turn metallic, and then they’re picked and sold in the tin-tree aisle of your local supermarket. Today I chose to make a different kind of soup – the kind from Actual Vegetables.
I confess I’ve made home-made soup before, but only since last year. As a result, the process still fills me with wonder. In this photo, you can see green lentils in the glass jar, and the result of adding them to soup in the glass lidded bowl: green soup (despite having a whole pumpkin in it). In a moment of foolishness, I bought a huge pack of carrots lately (Why? I don’t know). In order to get rid of the carrots, I bought all the other vegies you see here:
I was determined that THIS time, I’d have orange-coloured soup. So I used no green ingredients whatsoever (I used chickpeas instead of lentils, since both are a fabulous source of protein and I didn’t feel like red lentils). I chopped and fried the onion with garlic, ginger, cumin, coriander and tumeric. (Cumin and coriander are anti-farting ingredients, as I discovered during research for my children’s book “Farting my ABCs”. Tumeric is an extremely powerful dye, but you can remove it from benchtops with baking soda and white vinegar.) The stock needs to be dissolved in boiling water, so I did that and mixed it in before adding everything else and boiling it for over half an hour (the pot in the background is the chickpeas, since I bought dried ones and I like to hydrate them by boiling, but wasn’t sure they’d cope with everything else boiling in the same pot). Later on, I added a tomato too (why not?)
My friend Ann tasted it and said, “That’s not nearly as disgusting as I expected.” (Thanks Ann!) I should probably explain that she doesn’t like pumpkin soup.
And of course I put sour cream on top.
Definitely orange – yay!
Since I followed the soup with a ham, beetroot, avocado and cheese sandwich (and a mushroom), I had literally ten different vegies in the space of half an hour. That’s a world record in the life of Louise.
In other good news, I cut up the whole pumpkin without slicing myself once. Hurrah! For the weak/uncoordinated, I recommend butternut over regular pumpkin any day.
Play along at home: All you really need is a pumpkin and some stock (plus whatever else is lingering in your fridge – hopefully an onion). Boil, blend, and eat!
Coming super soon: Wear a tiara, sarcastic dream diary, build a fort. . . and more.
And one last mention of the reverse burglary saga:
Ben! Beardy Ben. Sarcastic Ben. Funny Ben. It’s you. Your sister let me in when I knew you were out.
Go thou and eat.
#148: Nerf Duel
Ben suggested I conduct a nerf duel, using historical rules of combat. But historical rules are always either:
a) stuffy (like, I’d need to be a nobleman, which would require quite a bit of lifestyle change).
b) bloody (and it’s REAL hard to draw blood with a nerf gun).
Nevertheless, I got me some guns, some ammo, and the following fierce opponent (here photographed expertly loading his gun):
We lined ourselves up in the square, ready for battle.
And pow! Bang! Arg!
Until the inevitable end.
Not satisfied with having killed the narrator, the deadly gun-toting four year old turned on his Uncle CJ:
Naturally, since I’m now dead I don’t know the outcome of the second duel. I have just one comment – Do you feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?
Look at those deadly eyes!
Coming soon: The reverse burglary victim revealed!
Secret # 6 (hopefully)
Go mad in a lolly shop (Mmmmm)
Eat Yum Cha (Mmmmm)
Three days without any junk food whatsoever (arg, the pain!!)
And a surprise or two
Today’s reverse burglary clue: My burglary did NOT take place on the day I posted it. So if you’ve been thinking, “I was home that day – I know for certain it wasn’t me!” then – guess again.
I know at least three tortured souls have been scouring their homes for candy, so I plan to actually reveal the location of the lollies. . . tomorrow.
In other news, my fish appear absolutely fine thus far, except there is white fuzz growing on the heater (I’ve cleaned it once with a toothbrush and boiling water, and I’ll clean it again) probably as a result of the first plant dying. I plan to buy one of those “I clean your tank” fish, hopefully today.
Felicity Banks 