“Peace Hostage” story so far
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PEACE HOSTAGE
The boar was so close I could taste the stench of it. I pressed the butt of my spear into the rocky ground and shouted a challenge.
The bleeding pig squealed and charged right onto my spear. It hit the crossguard and broke it off. I held on, staring at my death.
Tem covered my body with his. He screamed as the pig gored him. I crawled away, pulling him with me. Dad cheered as the pig bled out.
2
Dad and I lay bloated with pork at the door of our hut. Dad said, “That boy, he’s too stupid for you. Getting gored like that.” I blushed.
Dad turned serious: “Truly, Sawi, it can’t be. Tem returns to his tribe next month, or those Yah will kill us – like they killed your Ma.”
“I know, Dad.” He laid his hand on mine: “If Tem doesn’t heal up and go home, your brother’s life is forfeit – and all our lives too.”
3
“Chief!” screamed my best friend, Iv. Dad stood. Iv wept: “Your son! The Yah have murdered their peace hostage. We are at war.”
Dad ordered Tem and I inside. We sat silently, holding hands. Tem kissed each of my fingers. I said, “My tribe must kill you now.” “I know.”
Tem said, “Everyone dies. My life switched with your brother’s life bought our tribes ten years of peace. That is enough for me. I am full.”
4 – do day 5 very late tonight!
Dad stood guard while the village waited for him to decide the blooding hour, and who would make the kill. Tem and I didn’t leave the house.
“Sawi? Will it be your Dad who kills me?” “Don’t speak like-– why are you smiling?” He grabbed my hand and pulled me awkwardly, so I fell.
Tem kissed me, knocking our noses together. I gasped. “You fiend! My Dad’ll kill you—oh!” We dissolved into helpless giggles.
5
Dad saw me staring into our fire and said, “I will stop the blooding as long as I can.” I looked into his eyes, and bowed my head.
“Tem! Wake up!” He blinked at me. I said, “I’m going to go into Yah land – and save you.” He said, “Don’t get killed.” “Same to you.”
Tem said, “My Mum loves me. She’ll help you.” I held his hand, and kissed him carefully. We didn’t knock noses. I crept away into the night.
6
I found the ruined stream where my mother’s bones still lay, with many others from both tribes. The Yah bank was black with shadows.
No-one speared me as I crossed the naked grass. I stepped into the freezing water, dislodging old skulls so they rolled on down the river.
7
I dreamed of Tem’s death, and saw him burned until his bones turned black. My fresh water was half gone, and the thick air stifled me.
My foot ached and I found a bloody wound. I pulled out a piece of someone’s skull, wrapped my foot in banana leaves and walked on.
8
I hacked through a thorn bush and came face to face with a young boar. We stared at one another. I saw the rage redden its eyes.
The boar lowered its head and I slammed the handle of my knife onto its snout. It was young and fit – too young to be wily.
I slid through the trees, listening for the boar’s pursuit. It didn’t come. I knew I should return and bring it down, but I didn’t want to.
9
I ate my last food and wished I’d killed that stupid boar. Except I was the stupid one, because it definitely wouldn’t have had pity on me.
Iv always said the Yah drank their pee. She said they preferred it. I’d asked Tem, but he just looked at me funny. If only he’d answered.
I drank the last of my water, and decided not to drink urine. My Dad would never forgive me for behaving like a stinking Yah.
10
I woke up wet with sweat, and knew before I looked that my cut foot was red and swollen. Why couldn’t those stinking Yah live a bit closer?
11
Finally a coconut tree! Food and water all in one.
I tried to climb the tree and failed three times. My body was too weak. I lay back looking at the coconuts, and carefully drank my tears.
12
A face breathed into my face, smelling of mangoes. “Ehhh,” she said, and trickled water over my lips. I choked, and she held me up.
She bathed my swollen foot and gave me coconut porridge to eat. I lay helpless, and she sang lullabies. I said, “You’re Tem’s Mum.” “Yes.”
“I will carry you to our village. You will be safe with me.” She slung me over her back and stepped through the undergrowth with sure feet.
13
Tem’s Mum Jil tended me all day and night. Her sister Res fried fish and sweet potato for me. Jil went to speak to the chief.
Res shuffled closer. “Tem is alive. We will go and save him.” “Thank you,” I whispered. She said, “But your father must die.” “No!”
Jil and Res argued into the night, and I slipped in and out of dreams.
14
Jil said, “My husband will see you now.” “What? No! Was it him that killed my brother? I can’t defend myself!” “Hush, child. Wait and see.”
A huge man entered the women’s house and knelt by my mat. “I am Hof,” he said, “and I loved your brother. He was a mighty hunter.”
My throat closed with grief. Hof said, “Your brother was killed, but not by us. When you are strong, you will come and see.”
15
Hof served me food with his own hand, and no-one called for my blood. Many there showed the signs of mourning, but none showed signs of war.
I ate my fill, and slept until I was no longer tired. My foot was bathed hourly in cold stream water and honey, and began to heal.
16
I told Jil that I needed to see my dead brother. She took me deep into the forest and dug carefully under a stripped tree. I held his hand.
We brushed off the dirt and lifted my brother onto the dead leaves. I recognised the shape of boar tusk wounds, so like Tem’s side.
“Tomorrow I will go home,” I said, “and tell my people. Tem might still be alive, and I can stop the war before it begins.”
17
Jil snorted as we slept, and my eyes snapped open. Res knelt over me, knife in hand. I rolled and she missed me. She shrieked. “Filthy Bek!”
Jil grabbed for Res, but she missed. I snatched a gourd of water and ran outside. Three Yah waited for me with knives and clubs.
Hof burst from his hut bellowing with rage, and stood between me and them. I shoved Res and ran, but I heard Hof scream like a dying boar.
18
Two of the four angry Yah hunted me through the day and night and day. I climbed the trees and swung through the branches like a monkey.
One of the Yah urinated right beneath me. I watched to see if he drank it, but he didn’t. Too bad. It’s possible Iv was misinformed.
19
At last the Yah gave up the hunt for me, and I stumbled upon a grove of peanut and coconut trees beside a stream. I drank deeply and slept.
20
I washed my foot carefully and feasted on coconuts – and bananas. The fish in the stream winked at me until I caught one.
I slept again, and wondered if I should take my chance to stay far away from war – and live.
21
I dreamed of Tem again that night. He called to me in pain as the goring he’d taken for me festered and swelled like my ruined foot.
I began the long walk home.
Three-Ingredient Thursday is CURSED!!!
Another near-death experience this week. It’s becoming a habit.
In other news, I made fish and chips. I use the word “made” in its loosest sense.
I sprayed two trays with oil, and put the fish in one. I washed, peeled and cut the potatoes and put them in the other tray with more oil sprayed over the top. Then I cooked them all (fish on the top tray) for about 35 minutes at about 200 degrees celsius. Then I bathed them in salt and lemon juice. Soooooo gooooooood.
Sorry, what’s that you say? Something about a near-death experience? Oh yes, of course.
Are we sitting nicely?
So I was once again driving along the Tuggeranong Parkway at 100 km/hr. This time it was raining and misty, so visibility was low and the tyres had ADHD. Now LAST time I wrote about the parkway (precisely one week ago) I observed an idiot move into the right lane and almost hit a truck. THIS time the part of the innocent victim was played by yours truly.
It’s always surprising when a car suddenly veers into one’s lane at high speed. I hit the brakes and the horn at the same time, as well as attempting to squeeze our wagon into a smaller slice of lane. The car was determined to plough into me, however, and casually disregarded my frantic beeping. I pushed harder on the brake and watched with a certain curiousity as the back corner of their car narrowly missed the front corner of mine.
If I’d braked half a second later, I’d probably be in hospital right now.
By the rules of narrative writing, I should be the one changing lanes without head-checking next Thursday (which also happens to be the Final Three-Ingredient Thursday – this curse is neat, isn’t it?) and due to the rule of three (third time succeeds where two previous attempts didn’t) will cause chaos and death. The narrative would particularly benefit from me doing so while crossing a bridge on that same road, since a bridge further up partially collapsed last weekend. That’s some nice foreshadowing.
Fortunately I’m not superstitious.* Also, unlike apparently everyone else, I tend to look where I’m going before changing lanes.**
Feeling paranoid now? Here’s a calming rainforest from flickr.com
*Being narratively aware is a completely different issue.
**Which explains why I only ever crash into objects directly in front of me.
#182: Go to a 90th birthday
Remember Steve Irwin? Remember how he was so alive it was like he filled the whole room just by being on TV?
He’s got nothing on my grandpa. Nothing.
My grandpa recently saw a doctor because he felt “slightly puffed” when he went upstairs.
My grandpa asked my grandma to marry him on their third meeting.
My grandpa once held his breath under water (he and his friends had been skinny-dipping, so they were naked) while getting shot at by US friendly fire in World War 2 (a story that never fails to make him laugh).
My grandpa was terribly offended at his 90th when someone said he looked 80 (“WHAT!?! I don’t look that old at all.”)
My grandpa is learning Mah Jong – and his aim is to start telling his teacher, “No, actually, you’re wrong. THIS is how you play.”
He has/will have at least three parties this year, since he lives in Perth. CJ and I went to the Sydney one – with over twenty people, almost all of them relatives of mine.
Apparently it was the type of party at which I felt the need to show my muscles. I have no recollection why that was the case.*
And the masses gathered for the inevitable photo:
And here to give you a teensy bit of longevity yourself, is a rainforest picture from flickr.com:
*apparently it was that type of party.
#137: Invent your own alphabet (and write something in it)
This was a suggestion by a linguistically-inclined reader. After spending some time working on making new symbols, rediscovering phonetics, and so on, I decided to throw away the darn thing.
My new choice of language is an unwritten one. I’ve called it, “Girl Talk” and I think you’ll find it’s super useful in everyday life. Instead of sign language, it’s a language that relies entirely on subtle facial cues.
Here are just a few useful phrases:
1. Is today Monday or Tuesday? I hope it’s Tuesday. Oh, please be Tuesday.
2. I’m going to eat your braaaaaiiiiinnnnsssss!
3. Touch me, and I’ll punch you in the nose.
4. Ask me if it’s my “special time of the month” and I’ll punch you in the nose.
5. Chocolate? For me? Aww.
6. Take away my chocolate, and I’ll punch you in the nose.
7. Give me more chocolate, or I’ll punch you in the nose.
8. You’re looking at me. Is that because I look fat??? Wait. . . do I have a duck on my head??? I hate that.
9. Cower in fear, puny man-minions, for this planet will not be yours for long.
And here’s a simple translation of man speak, for comparison purposes:
1. I have a hat.
2. And a beard!
3. Ooh look! A shiny thing!
Play along at home: When in doubt, buy someone chocolate. Or a hat. Keep in mind that some will interpret it as an insult (“does this mean you think I’m fat???”) and punch you in the nose. C’est la vie.
And here’s today’s “Peace Hostage” companion picture, from flickr.com:
#180: Become an expert on something you know nothing about
This reader suggestion has been haunting me for weeks. How can I become an expert in a day (or perhaps a week), when becoming an expert takes thousands of hours?
Answer: specialise.
Originally I was going to become an expert on my tetras. I would be the Only One in the Whole World who could tell my four neon tetras apart.
Here’s someone else’s neon tetra photo, from wikipedia:
Unfortunately, after several months I still can’t tell my tetras apart (with one exception, because my pakistan loach bit that one).
So I tried to think of something else very specific – something that I’m obsessed with. Writing doesn’t cut it, because there are just too many writers more expert than myself.
The answer was so obvious: CJ.
I am the world expert on being married to CJ. In fact, since I’m the only girl he ever dated, I corner the market on dating CJ, too. That’s very cool.
So, as a service to you single folk out there, this is apparently how one finds and acquires the love of their life:
1. Dress up as Jack Sparrow and act like a drunken letch to a lot of your same-orientation friends (see picture at right).
2. Accidentally talk to CJ at pirate ball. Fall in love instantly.
3. Confirm CJ’s hotness by looking at photos the next day, because the only thing you remember clearly is laughing, and the feel of his arm (mmm. . . arm. . . )
4. Spend the next two months stalking him – personally, I visited a dance hall and two churches before I gave up and acquired his number off a friend of a friend.
5. Call him. Lure him to you with lies about how your writing group is desperate for new members. NB: Realise at this point that this has proven an excellent method for making hot guys become your bestest friend without ever noticing that you are, in fact, female.
6. Force your writing group to suddenly meet weekly instead of annually. Tell them to act natural. Watch as Ben takes a series of phone calls week after week, and says he has to leave. Immediately. End up alone with CJ each time.
7. Talk to CJ for hours in a series of cafes. Quickly cease bothering to pretend to write. Go to another ball together, wearing a dress this time (me, not him).
8. Stop inviting the rest of the writing group to the alleged writing days.
CJ: “Should we wait for the others?”
Louise: “Uh. . . they’re not coming. Would you like to have lunch here at the romantically-lit Pancake Parlour in a booth for two – and then walk over to Glebe Park and lay side by side in the emerald grass as a band plays love songs?” (I didn’t actually say all that.)
CJ: “Sure.”
NB: It was that day, Australia Day 2007, that CJ observed (after several hours) that Something Was Afoot. The euphempism “and then they lay down in the grass” wasn’t invented for nothing, kids.
9. Decide it’d be “cool” to have a night-time picnic on Mount Roger the day after Valentine’s Day.
10. When he asks you out and is so nervous he gets your name wrong, don’t tell him until after the kissing.
And voila! Marriage and babies, here we come. Here’s a photo taken a year after we met (at another pirate ball):
Play along at home: Err. . . no guarantees regarding the ol’ success rate of this method.
But in the meantime, here’s today’s “Peace Hostage” rainforest pic from flickr.com (the narrator’s body is buried near the stump on the left):
Coming soon: Experiment on a pet, three-ingredient thursday (dinner), that alphabet thing (for real this time), make music, etc
S#35: Recreate your food lust
PS oops. I meant to post this on Saturday. You kids will just have to wait extra long for the next piece of awesome.
My mum makes a dish called “coq au vin” (which is to say, “chicken in wine” – you can imagine how the French came up with THAT one). I really like it. So a few things happened lately:
1. When I cleaned out my email inbox, I found a list of my mum’s recipes.
2. As I shopped for groceries, I saw one of those “Feed your family for $10” things – for coq au vin.
My mum’s recipe had things like:
“Ingredients. . .
Enough bacon
enough mushrooms
some onion
red wine”
which was helpful – up to a point. For one thing, I’ve never cooked with red wine, and I have noooo idea how much to put in (a bottle? a cask? a teaspoon?) For another thing, “enough bacon” is an oxymoron.
So, with the less delicious but more informative recipe from the supermarket, and the bacon and mushroom recipe from mum, I made a wonderful wonderful thing.
Here’s roughly how it went (and yes, as you can tell, I’m my mother’s daughter):
Cook one chopped onion, a dessertspoonful of minced garlic, a few rashers of bacon (chopped), and three chicken pieces in a wide frypan until the chicken is brown on both sides.
While that happens, stick 400mL red wine in a microwave safe jug with about half a cup of flour (to my surprise, cornflour worked fine – it just took a lot of stirring), stirring every minute until it suddenly goes thick. Add some thyme and bay leaves and two cubes of chicken stock along the way.
Stick the chicken mixture in a casserole dish, and pour the wine mix over it (it doesn’t matter if it’s gone cold). Cook it with the lid on at 150 degrees celsius for anywhere between 30 minutes and an hour and a half, depending on when CJ gets home. Cook rice.
When you have about fifteen minutes to go, mix a handful of fresh chopped mushrooms into the casserole and take the lid off (NB: take lid off first).
If you feel like it, fry some sliced zucchini in the pan and add some chopped fetta just before serving.
Voila! Je suis riche!
I was psyching CJ up for this all week (the word “bacon” was all he actually needed), but both of us were surprised and delighted when we first tasted it.
Nostalgia = win.
Tomorrow’s entry includes a photo CJ described as “horrific”. If you don’t like seeing a lot of blood in the movies, tomorrow’s entry is not for you.
And from flickr.com:
#179: Play with a pirate ship
This was a recent gift from a good friend. It has working winches, a hold cover, and fully functional cannons with TINY plastic cannonballs.
Naturally, every so often it catches my eye and I move the captain into the crow’s nest, or send the rowboat over the other side of the room, or arrange a sailor’s meeting inside the captain’s cabin.
Immaturity = yay.
Land ho!
Yep, that’s Optimus Prime in the captain’s cabin.
Okay guys, you’ve had your fun. Now let me back up.
. . . guys??
As always during August 2010, here’s a rainforest picture for your enjoyment. It’s from Flickr.com.
Murder Story
Hey kids, it’s story time!
This is, as I may have mentioned, a murder story. It’s not especially gory, but You Have Been Warned. It won the Kerry Greenwood Malice Domestic section of the Sisters in Crime Scarlet Stiletto Award (only girls can enter) in (I think) 2006.
Mascara
I lined my eyes in black, thick and luxurious, contradicting my wrinkles. My mascara was Liquid Charcoal, heavy on my lids. I sat on the edge of my toilet seat with my eyes half lowered. If I didn’t move my eyes, the wet mascara wouldn’t hit my eyelids. It wouldn’t make little black lines there, spoiling my face. I tried not to let myself think of my to-do list waiting for me among dirty dishes on my bench. If I didn’t move, I wouldn’t cry. I wouldn’t ruin it all. There was one small, logical moment of loathing. What kind of fool wears mascara, when she knows the risk? But I didn’t. I didn’t cry.
My clothes were laid out on the couch, draped over mounds of unwashed underwear. I put them on in the order I’d written down two days before: Undies. Bra. Skirt and shoes and top. Why hadn’t I written down that I should dress first, and put on makeup later? Don’t think about it, I told myself. Just don’t. I stared at the ceiling and stretched my mouth into a smile. People aren’t designed to smile and cry at the same time. I hated fake smiles, even with no-one there to see. But smiling alone was good practice. I was doing well.
My hair was too difficult to set. I brushed it. No more than that. No hiding the grey today, no clips, no spray. The cat mewled for food. It had vomited again the night before. A little might have stuck onto my shirt sleeve. I didn’t look. I didn’t want to know for certain. I didn’t want to know or care that the cat was sick. The fact of the matter was that I was a beast, a beast! not to look after her. But still I didn’t look. Good girl, I told myself. Maybe tomorrow I’ll buy some Irises for the front garden. They’ll look lovely by Mrs Peterson’s oak.
I grabbed my keys. I grabbed my thermos of tepid tea. My breath stunk. I hadn’t brushed my teeth. The cat would be all right. I’d come back. I’d look after her later. I would! I would! I blinked my heavy eyelashes lightly and rapidly, to make the tears dry out before pitch began to run from my eyes. No tears allowed. Not today.
I ran out the back door, frantic to escape the mourning cat. I ran without my handbag to my car. I reversed too fast and ran into Mrs Peterson’s oak. No no no, I said. No. It’s all right. Don’t cry. Mrs Peterson came out of her house. Mrs Rock-Head. She was small and grey and hard as nails, and I wished someone would hit her with a hammer.
“Stop. Stop!” she said.
I forgot what to do. Ignore Mrs Peterson, said my to-do list. It was engaved on my brain.
“Stop,” she said.
I stopped. She came to my window, and I gazed at her. Her small grey fingers tapped on the glass, tapped on the inside of my brain. She hadn’t the right. It was my brain. Mine not hers. Mine mine mine. I wound down the window and looked at her, focusing on her little grey nose hairs. They made me smile. I didn’t cry. I made a mental note to always look at noses. Noses: Look at them.
“Sheila, really!” said Mrs Rock-Head. She was grey through and through. I hated grey more than any other shade. More than any feeling. More than life. And her oak tree shouldn’t have been so close to my property.
“Shirley,” I said. I lifted my weak chin and glared through my Liquid Charcoal lashes. Mrs Rock-Head wasn’t wearing mascara. She wasn’t wearing anything except a faded floral print dress, sagging in unfortunate places. I won. Me. I did. Even the flowers on her dress were grey. I detested every thread. “My name,” I said, “is Shirley.”
“Well,” she said. “Shirley. Anne. Parsnip.” She told me off like I was her granddaughter. That naughty one.
I was older than Mrs Rock-Head. Pretty sure I was older. I was caught for a moment. Was it better to be older or younger? Either way, she had me wrong. “Parson.”
“Excuse me?”
“Parson. My name is Parson.” I told myself I was a worthwhile person. A good person. Someone who deserved to be remembered. Who deserved to have a name. Mrs Rock-Head was rude. That was not my fault. Not my fault at all.
Mrs Rock-Head opened her mouth, and it stayed open. She sat down heavily. I poked my head out of the window and looked at her. “What are you doing?” I said.
“Having another bleeding stroke,” she said. “You made me have a stroke.”
“I did not. You were rude.” My audacity went to my head. “Take some responsibility for yourself.”
Her little grey face scrunched, and then it unscrunched. “There we go then.” She rocked her fat grey self back and forward, meaning to get up. Meaning, her stroke was finished and her lecture was not. “You could have killed me.”
I had an idea. It was unusual, and difficult to do. My heart pounded in my throat at the thought of it. I hadn’t written down what I was going to do. Anything could happen.
I offered her the thermos. “Tea,” I said. “It’s tepid. Tepid tea. From yesterday.”
Mrs Rock-Head took the thermos of tepid tea. She screwed off the two lids. The first lid was a cup, metal on the outside, with thermal qualities. She ignored it and took a sip directly from the flask.
“Excuse me,” I said. “That was for my husband.”
“I’m not well,” she said, and tipped up the thermos, dripping drops down the sides of her mouth. She looked up at me with wrinkled eyes. Old, cold eyes.
“Give me the thermos,” I said. She passed it up to me. Empty. “Excuse me,” I said. “That tea was worth a great deal of money to me.”
“It tasted terrible,” she said.
“Give me the lids.” At least she was obedient in her actions. Almost polite. “How do you feel?” I said, taking the lids from her grey hands.
I waited a long time for her response. She didn’t say anything at all in the end. She started curling up, like a worm. Like a retching worm.
I smiled, all by accident. My practice smiles were paying off. I drove away quickly, with the last drops of Foxglove tea staining the passenger seat. Foxglove. Also known as Witches’ Gloves. Also known as Dead Man’s Bells. Little wonder it tasted terrible.
The smell mixed with the smell of vomit from my shirt sleeve, and morning breath from my mouth. I opened the window a crack. The radio played, “You are my sunshine” for me. I was afraid to sing. To get the words wrong. Embarrassed, even though no-one was there. I hummed. The witch was dead. Singing was appropriate. Humming would do nicely. Goodbye, Mrs Rock-Head. Goodbye. Tomorrow, I’d buy some Jonquils, and plant them near the letterbox. I was doing so well.
The carpark at the dementia home was empty except for the nurses’ cars. I unclicked my seatbelt and realised what I’d done. How could I have been so thoughtless? My Foxglove tea was gone. It took hours to make, and I didn’t know if I could trust myself to get it right a second time. I was always bad at cooking. It was hard to remember the timing. But I’d done it. I’d held it together. Then I’d wasted it on Mrs Rock-Head. I blinked.
One of the boy nurses brushed past my car on his way inside. He made me jump and drop my keys. I blinked more, remembering to blink as lightly as butterfly wings. I hadn’t cried. Hadn’t dropped a smeary tear, even though Mrs Rock-Head ruined my to-do list. I was doing so well. So well. My keys touched my bare big toe.
I put the lids back onto the thermos, taking my time, screwing them on properly. It was a beautiful little thing, sleek like a bullet, with a rounded head. I’d done a good thing, with Mrs Rock-Head. A brave thing. I smiled a second time, to think I’d never see her again. My to-do list was broken, broken. I was in trouble. But I didn’t cry.
I picked up my keys, congratulating myself for remembering not to lock them in the car. My body was dragging at me, exhausted from so much to do in one day. I couldn’t cook a meal, and I was trying to perform murder. My head was full, sloshing with the dregs of Foxglove tea. It was heavy with the fragrant smell of death.
I walked to the door of the dementia home and put in the code to get inside. The code wasn’t for people like me. It was for the people inside, who tried to escape sometimes. It was so they couldn’t wander off unsupervised in the sunshine. I myself walked unsupervised down the pastel hall. There was no-one left to supervise me. I walked to George’s room.
“Hello, sweetheart,” I said, standing in the doorway.
He didn’t move at all. I looked around for nurses, and there weren’t any. There was another man in the second bed, pulling his shirt up to lay his hands on his belly and smile at it. I liked him.
“George,” I said, and walked over to pull on my husband’s arm. He opened his eyes and looked at me.
“Hello sweetheart,” I said.
“Ung,” he said. His blue eyes looked at me with the same tolerant confusion as when I tried to explain the menstrual cycle half a century before. He didn’t quite believe I was all there. He never had.
“My name is Shirley,” I said. “Shirley. Anne. Parsnip.” I gasped at myself, and quickly blinked. I focused on the wrinkles on his head. A hairdresser visited the home and shaved him for me, so he wasn’t grey any more. No grey for my George. “I made a mistake,” I said. I didn’t cry. “My name is Parson. Not Parsnip. Sometimes I get my words a bit mixed. That’s all.” I was doing well. “My name is Parson. Parson. Parson. Your name. Your name is Parson too.”
“Ung,” he said, benevolent as ever. He didn’t believe me. That was his right. He was happy enough, and quite healthy, in a way. There were no tubes in his arms or in his nose.
“We’re married,” I said. “You and I. To each other. You see, I’ve remembered this time. To explain what’s happening to you. The nurses told me I should.”
“Ung,” he said.
“You used to look after me.” I blinked, but I found the words were enough to distract me from tears. “My own sweet George. I liked us, together. I liked our kids and our grandkids. Except for Joey, but that’s his mother’s fault.”
“Ung,” he said.
I stood up and walked to the doorway. No-one was pacing the pastel corridor. No-one was looking at me, asking, Why do you have that thermos? I closed the door, like I’d written on my to-do list that I would. George didn’t move. George never moved. He hadn’t moved for such a long time.
I had to stand beside his bed. There was never a chair. I always visited, and there was never a chair. “The cat threw up today,” I said, although I hadn’t meant to mention it. “I just left it on the floor, again.” My eyes were hot and shaky. “Are you –“ I stopped. I walked to the man with the belly and looked at his smile. I went calmly back to George. “Are you angry with me?”
“Ung,” he said, without rancour.
“I keep buying things,” I said. “I don’t need them, but I still buy them. Bulbs, mostly. Daffodils and Lilies. Even Tulips, which don’t match the garden at all. Most of them are stacked in the front hall nowadays. They’re beginning to smell.”
“Ung,” he said.
“I wish I could throw them away. But I’m too busy trying to stop myself buying more. I thought, Maybe if I fill the hall I’ll stop. But last month it was full. There were so many bulbs I had to go in the back door. Some of them are growing. Some are growing quite well.”
“Ung,” he said.
“And then I felt sick, to think of all the bulbs. Because I felt sick, I went to the nursery. While I was there I accidentally bought five hundred dollars worth of bulbs.”
“Ung,” he said.
“There’s not enough money,” I said. “For bulbs.”
“Ung,” he said.
“There’s only one way to get extra money at our age.”
“Ung,” he said.
“You’re my husband.”
“Ung.”
I put my thermos on the floor, and put my hands on his neck. He looked up at me, confused. I tried to smile, and couldn’t. It wasn’t how things were meant to be. This was not what I wrote on my to-do list. Not what I wrote, but close enough to manage. I was doing so well. George could still look after me. In a way.
I pushed down until his eyes began to water. He looked up at me, trying to believe what was happening. Trying to move his arms. He hadn’t moved his arms in eighteen months. They used to wrap around me, a long time ago. My arms and fingers ached with the effort of holding him. He frowned in concentration. He was trying so hard. Finally his fingers began to curl. They curled like Mrs Rock-Head had curled up, scrunched up, on the ground. “Uh,” he said, “hhh. . .”
I let go and looked down at my dead husband. George had always wanted to die in bed. He promised I’d be allowed to die first. So I wasn’t alone. I couldn’t blame him for breaking his word. Not eighteen months after he stopped talking. Not when I broke it for him.
I pulled at his pajamas, straightening the blue and white lines. Blue and white pajamas, with pearl buttons. I hated those pajamas. Why had I brought them to the home at all? Surely I knew he’d wear them. It didn’t make any sense.
I picked up my thermos. I found my keys on the floor. Perhaps I dropped them when I was strangling George. We used to say that if things got tough, he’d fake his death and we’d move to Tahiti. I never mentioned that I preferred Australia. I walked away, quickly, and put the code into the outside door so it would open for me. I walked to the car. While I walked I held a picture of the belly man in my head. A happy picture. A happy man. He remembered all he needed to remember. He was completely satisfied.
I blinked, too hard, and felt my lashes knock against my cheeks. I shook my head. No. No. No. Don’t cry now, Shirley Anne Parson. I was doing so well. The sky was dirty and grey, the colour I detest. But there was no rain. I slid into my car, and put my thermos in my lap. I dropped my keys. I picked them up, quick sticks, before they made me want to scream. Before they made me claw my Liquid Charcoal eyes from my head and brain myself on the new black and red striped steering wheel cover.
I didn’t let myself think about how stupid I was. I didn’t let myself think about the bulbs. My fingers curled and scrunched around the dimpled black and red plastic of the new steering wheel cover. I drove straight home, and saw the morgue van in my driveway, loading up Mrs Peterson. They were in a hurry. Hurrying to get her loaded before the rain started. There was vomit on the Peterson’s lawn.
Mr Peterson stood under the oak tree. He was wearing his pajamas, in the middle of the day. He was stooped with age and with the heavy sky. He was hosing his wife’s vomit toward the drain. There were no police. Police don’t come to such occasions. There were only the morgue staff, two strangers. The strangers made me nervous. Strangers always did. They made me want to cry. I blinked. Held my breath. Smiled. I was doing so well.
Mr Peterson signed the clipboard for the morgue van driver. I knew what it would say. He had to sign that yes, his wife was dead, and no, she wasn’t wearing any jewellery, except her wedding ring. The van drove out. I drove in.
My car shuddered as I pulled the keys out too quickly. I didn’t cry. I thought, Why do old men love pajamas, and old women love flowers? My eyes cooled enough that I could take a breath. I went to my front door, forgetting I couldn’t get in that way. Even the screen door was latched. I hurried around the back, blinking fast, and discovered I’d forgotten to shut the back door. The cat was out. Good. I didn’t want to trip over it. Poor sick thing.
I waded through the newest load of bulbs, and into the bathroom. I stepped in more cat vomit on the way, but I didn’t let it stop me. I looked in the mirror. There were my eyes, plain grey eyes, outlined almost perfectly in black. I nodded at myself, with a smile that looked forced. But I kept smiling, because I’d earned it. I’d done what I wrote down to do. All of it. I breathed. My problems were over. I watched without judgment as the tears broke through my mascara lines to rain liquid charcoal down my cheeks.






































