Internet, I trust you more than anyone
The title is true, but not because I’m an idiot (or not just because of that, anyways). I went to three different fish shops, and each one told me vastly different advice. The internet also gives me vastly different advice, but it’s pretty easy to find (a) a consensus, and (b) one that correlates with what I’ve observed.
My neon tetras are stressed. They’re not as pale as they are at night, but they’re not as bright as they should be. I’ll be focusing on the pH level to fix that (and possibly also buying more fish once the pH is respectable – like all nerds, they need a large group of their own kind to feel secure).
My danios should not be fighting (I KNEW it!) A lot of people consider them “peaceful” fish, which is directly opposed to this guy: http://www.aquarticles.com/articles/breeding/McKane_Zebra_Danios.html who also says that they fight when their school isn’t big enough. My tank is only two-thirds full at the moment (I’ve been VERY slowly adjusting the water) so I’ll see if they settle down once there’s a full 15.6 litres in there. If not, I guess I’ll buy more. He also recommends NOT putting them with anyone who has decorative fins (like, obviously, the Siamese fighting fish – which is usually the first fish everyone recommends to put them with) which, since they’ve bitten him at least twice, is clearly good advice. Other than that, they and the fighter are fine, so I’m happy to see how things work out once the tank is full. It’s not life-threatening behaviour. If necessary, I can put the fighter in a separate tank – but I think he enjoys having room to move.
That web site also describes NORMAL aggressive behaviour between danios (which I’d long since called the jocks of the aquarium):
Typically, the display fights involve nothing more than two male danios staring at each other and straightening their pectoral fins. It will last for about twenty seconds until one of the danios gets scared off, forgets what it is doing or simply gets bored.
—————–
In other news, I think I’ll go with a Lord of the Rings theme for the naming. The fighter is, obviously, Gandalf. The danios are the warriors – Gimli, Legolas and Aragorn (although I think one is female, because she hasn’t been biting anyone. . . I’ll research that a bit more – or just call that one Legolas, since no-one is REALLY sure about him). And the neon tetras are hobbits.
Fish Politics
I have three types of fish: a siamese fighting fish (which isn’t interested in smaller fish), two neon tetras, and three zebra danios. (I wrote about them all yesterday at http://twittertales.wordpress.com.) I’m constantly worried about them, and I miss them when I don’t go and say hello every few hours. Presumably both effects will soon wear off.
The danios are bullies. Two have been fighting each other (definitely biting – and jerking as they are bitten) and at least one has bitten the fighting fish’s tail more than once. The neon tetras are much smaller, and they’re the only ones that don’t seem happy (despite their relatively peaceful existence), but I think I now (thanks to Google) know how to help them (it’s a pH thing – and they want more of their own kind, which I’m happy to do).
I haven’t seen fish fight before. Being accustomed to cats, I just want to reach into the tank and give them a good slap.
#122: Someone else’s tradition (and twitter)
Today’s awesomeness is to dive into someone else’s tradition (especially if it’s food). I tried tsoureki, a traditional Greek bread served at Easter. This is a picture of some with a boiled egg dyed red added:
There’s a recipe here: http://greekfood.about.com/od/greekbreadspitas/r/tsoureki.htm
The lady who gave me my taste said that it was very difficult to make, since it has to be cooked three times (unlike in the above recipe, which clearly is for wimps). It was heavy and subtley sweet, with an almond glaze. I didn’t think it was worth all that much trouble, so I suspect this is one of those traditions (like Turkey at Christmas) which grew out of the need to use a culinary invention, but to also make sure it doesn’t get eaten too often.
Today is Friday, so here’s “Bridezilla” so far:
1.
It’s pay day, so I buy pillows. Luckily my wedding dress makes a good maternity dress. I hope this plan works. Tomorrow, here I come.
2.
I dress as a VERY expectant bride and go to the bakery store. As I order a huge pile of hot cross buns, I put one hand to my giant stomach.
*
“Oh you poor dear!” says the matronly type I’ve been observing for days. “Don’t bother paying for those buns.”
*
She winks, “And may I STRONGLY recommend entering our restaurant-dinner-for-two competition?”
I obey her while silently applauding my act.
S#78: Adopt a Pet
Generally, if you want to improve your mental health, a cat or dog is best. But since I already have two lovely/neurotic/deadly cats, I chose to get fish.
Like most awesome things, it was more difficult than it seemed. Last time I had fish, no-one said I needed a filter or a heater or a pH balancer. All I had to do was let water sit for a day before putting it with the fish. And I fed them every so often. Although I had zebra danios both then and now, I apparently now need all those things. So getting fish costs around $200 if you want a choice of more than one or two super-hardy fish. I chose the semi-tropical route, meaning that my fish need to live in an environment between 22 and 28 degrees Celsius. Since this is the year-round temperature of me and any room I’m in, I may not need a heater. I’ll get a thermometer and monitor the tank carefully.
It turns out that photographing fish is difficult, so here’s my best effort:
The male fighting fish is definitely the old man of the tank. Fighting fish are generally introverted, placid types (when they’re not killing each other, but since I only bought one it’s chilled out) who don’t mind having no other fish around. He takes his time investigating, and is smarter than the others (I put a mug in so they could have privacy if they wanted, and he’s the only one who realised you can swim inside it). If he could speak, he’d say: “Hmm. . . *snore*.”
The neon tetras are the nerds, clearly stuck in the 80s and even more perpetually wide-eyed than the other fish. “Are we the ONLY ONES wearing orange?! I hope no-one beats us up. . .”
The zebra danios are the jocks. They spend every waking moment racing around, running into each other and the other fish, and bashing their heads against the glass as they catch sight of their reflections. They stick in a close group, which gives me the thrill of knowing I have a whole school of fish, not just several fish in the same tank. I’ve always loved danios, so I bought three. “What is it? Kill it! Race you! Race you again! Hey what’s that? Kill it!”
Play along at home: Adopt your own pet, or borrow someone else’s (especially if they need a dog or cat sitter, or their dog is bored).
My six fish lack names. . . suggestions welcome!
#120: Christian Passover Celebration
I found out today that some Jews object to Christians stealing their tradition and celebrating a much-modified “Passover” in the belief that the Messiah has already come.
I was always brought up to think of Jews as the closest thing to a physical Jesus here on earth, and it was a huge shock to me when, as a teenager, I found out that some Christians dislike Jews. (FYI, if you are one of them, you are deeply stupid.)
I’ll keep celebrating Passover, since I’ve always thought of it as honouring to Jewish people, not stealing their tradition. If you are offended, I am sorry. Ultimately, it’s a Christian ritual for me, not anyone else’s.
Here’s one possible script for Christians to use: http://www.wf-f.org/Seder.html. My family uses horseradish as the bitter herbs, and uses a blender to mix the harosis ingredients. We buy flat bread, and use parsley as the green herbs. I’ll post our own script below this post, so you can take it for yourself if you wish.
I love the ritual nature of passover, and the distinctive tastes that are so familiar to me although I only have them once a year: the taste of boiled eggs dipped in salt water, the mushy deliciousness of harosis, and the solid mass that is unleavened bread. I love the meanings, too – especially when the bread is broken and hidden, then brought out and unwrapped to be eaten. According to our ritual, this is the point at which Jesus said, “This is my body, broken for you.” The wine cup at that moment is the cup of redemption, and the bread beautifully represents Jesus’ own death and resurrection on Easter weekend.
The “youngest child” is a crucial part of the ritual, and my nephew (age four) was unexpectedly entertaining. We primed him heavily for his big line: “What is the meaning of the eggs?” and when his moment came he took a deep breath, shuffled the script in front of his face newsreader-style, and said loudly, “What is inside the toilet?” He then answered, “Dirty water, which goes down and down to the sea.”
Not so long earlier, he’d been raptly listening. So much for that!
The first part of the passover is the welcome, and the lighting of the candles. I have childhood memories of waiting HOURS AND HOURS until the main meal, with only ritualistic snippets of food to keep me going. That’s ritual for you – it must be difficult, and a little foolish, or it doesn’t feel like a ritual.
Play along at home: In Western culture, we have rituals for death and marriage, but very little for birth or coming of age (a party, which is a good start). Make an annual ritual for yourself, perhaps eating hot cross buns on Good Friday or painting pictures on boiled eggs – or a special birthday meal. Rituals bind people together, so choose family to do your ritual with you – or someone who you feel closer to than family.
Tomorrow: Go Fish!
Playing “House”
What disease do I have? It’s terribly mysterious.
Generally, I get sick when I visit Indonesia. That’s food poisoning. But food poisoning goes away. This thing hasn’t.
Diagnosis fail.
Must be giardia! But, after an allergic reaction to the medication (and the whole “not getting better” thing) it turns out two tests have come up negative for giardia.
Diagnosis fail.
I feel like rubbish, I wake up nauseous, I’m getting hormone headaches, and my belly is expanding like I’ve stuffed a pillow under my shirt. But no, I’m not pregnant. This is pretty clear since I’m menstrually regular, I’ve taken FOUR pregnancy tests, and CJ is nauseous too – last I heard, pregnancy is non-infectious. (Plus I’ve just switched contraceptive methods, so naturally my hormones are mad at me.)
Diagnosis fail.
Stomach cancer? Nah – stomach cancer doesn’t hit suddenly and viciously, then get much milder. Also it’s unlikely to have jumped from me to CJ. And I’ve no family history of cancer. Plus it’s not something you “pick up” in Indonesia.
Diagnosis fail (much as I half-wish my giant belly was cancer rather than chocolate).
My fun theory of the day is sulphur poisoning from the massive stinky cloud around Mount Bromo. CJ and I visited it the day we both got sick (also altitude sick, but that’s something that I’ve had and recovered from before), and spent about three hours in the rain nearby (ie the rain carried the sulphur onto our skin, plus breathing it in).
Sulphur poisoning can cause intestinal upsets, and hormonal stuff too.
Sad to say, fun though the concept is, sulphur is something the body has naturally, and would probably have self-regulated by now. Still, a fun theory, don’t you think? That the national park made me sick.
In other news, I strained muscles in my leg falling down the stairs yesterday.
Also yesterday, I had a fun car accident (the kind where no-one is hurt and the car has no important damage). Aqua-planing is a little bit like flying, and strangely calming.
“Huh. I’m gonna crash now. May as well relax and hope for the best.”
I feel like there’s some kind of metaphor for life in there.
PS The metaphor for life is probably, “GET OFF THE FRIGGIN ROAD YOU INSANELY BAD DRIVER.”
S#64: Lego (aka Secret Number 1)
Why was lego kept secret? Because my partner loves it. In the last month, he’s probably mentioned the lego of our future children once a week on average (not that we’re either pregnant or trying to be pregnant). I also know he particularly approves of the stuff that ISN’T a kit – the stuff where you need to invent your own style.
So today, I went and bought some.
Here it is (a $30 box of Duplo):
Here’s what I made with it (the people are from a different set):
I SMSed to let CJ know there was something on the table for him, and not to wait for me.
Here’s how he found it, when he came home (the heart wall fits inside the box):
Here’s what he did with it (for the record, that’s not a bird and a dog, it’s a dinosaur and a crocodile):
In other news, my cat likes the new quilt so much that she poked her head underneath and posed herself like so:
Play along at home: Got a lego set in a dusty corner? Play with it. Or find something else recommended for ages 1 to 5, like this is.
Tomorrow: Passover Celebration.
#108: Guerilla Gardening
I woke up sore from yesterday’s sewing. Pretty sure that makes me an ATHLETE OF AWESOMENESS.
This idea came from another awesomeness enthusiast, http://www.yesandyes.org/
Here’s how to guerilla garden, Louise Style.
1. Grab an enthusiastic bunch of friends.
2. Select a public garden that needs love (the half-dead plant in the pot is my oh-so-generous donation).
3. Weed the patch, pausing only to realise that gardening tools exist for a reason. Drive home, scour the house for tools, and come back with a kitty litter scoop and a pair of scissors. Weed more.
4. Admire what you’ve done.
5. Pause and be picturesque.
6. Drive home while brushing ants, centipedes and spiders from your clothes, hair and skin.
7. Strip naked, burn your clothes, and shower until you stop twitching. Bonus points if you remember to close the bathroom window first (the one overlooking an innocent neighbour’s kitchen).
8. Feel strangely good about having made a tiny piece of the world better.
Play along at home: Is there a plant blocking your pavement or driveway? Prune it. Are there weeds in your elderly neighbour’s front yard? Sneak in and steal them away. Do you live in a completely unmaintained rental property? Pick one corner to make your own tiny garden (remembering that it’s illegal to plant new things there – which makes it way more fun). Proclaim your criminal acts right here.
Coming soon:
Secret Number One (it’s from http://steffmetal.com/101-ways-to-cheer-yourself-up/).
#121: Celebrate passover (you can find scripts and recipes online – my family is Christian and uses one that notes all the Messianic symbolism along the way). I believe Thursday is the best day, but I’ll be doing it on Wednesday.
#109: Create and eat a whole meal of one colour.
S#78: Adopt a pet.
#122: Spend a whole day in a mega-size bookshop, including having coffee there (my partner, CJ, is RATHER excited about this one).
S#13: Take a bubble bath.
#110: Secret Number Two. . . you’re gonna love it.
Being my own therapist
Yesterday I had an especially fun lesson with a student, just going through the five main schools of psychology – Behaviourist, Psychoanalytic, Biological, Humanist and Cognitive. Today I’ll be thinking about applying each of these to myself, and perhaps finding something useful.
Behaviourist: Our behaviour is a simple response to past or present stimuli eg If a dog once scared us, we react negatively to all dogs. The stimuli can also be observed – eg If we see someone else getting ice cream for being good in class, we are more likely to be good in class.
Felicity: My behaviour responds to almost anything as a negative stimulus. If I can observe other people getting positive results for being involved in the world, I am likely to be less afraid of everything (I can also re-train myself by finding positive stimuli for myself).
2. Psychodynamic: Our rational self (the ego) tries to find a balance between our id (unrestrained desires) and our superego (social and moral rules without joy or life). Too much id power makes a person psychotic, and too much superego power makes a neurotic.
Felicity: I am clearly neurotic. To solve this, I need to let my id out of the box a little, and enjoy life. One obvious way is to spend more money on fun and less on savings. I’m already committed to that process because of the Daily Awesomeness at http://twittertales.wordpress.com. The fact that I “have” to write my blog soothes my superego.
Biological: Our psychological problems stem from chemical imbalances in the brain, as well as genetic and evolutionary predilictions.
Felicity: My own chemical imbalances respond well to chemical medication. After some medical tests on 8 April, I’ll be going back on meds for a bit.
Humanist: A person needs love and a sense of belonging to develop into a self-actualised human being. Before that, basic needs such as food and shelter must be met.
Felicity: My basic needs have only just been reliably met by CJ’s income (and life insurance) but my needs for love and belonging have something blocking my ability to believe any love for me is real. If I hang around friends who love me for who I am, perhaps I can become more actualised over time. It’d probably also help if my self-identity was less negatively skewed. I think self-identity is helped by work (of almost any kind) and I think the Daily Awesomeness will make me feel like I matter.
5. Cognitive: Our interpretation of stimuli dictates our responses. If we change our thought patterns, we change ourselves.
Felicity: I feel way more insane if I start telling myself things I don’t believe (eg Repeating, “I am a worthwhile person” over and over. . . bleaugh!) but I can attempt to minimise the repetition of negative thoughts.
Conclusion: The easiest useful thing for me to do is have more fun (thanks, Sigmund).
I also need more self-esteem and better thought patterns, but that will be more difficult to achieve (I know from experience that taking meds makes negativity suddenly seem as foolish as I know it is). But I’ll try and improve a little bit.
#96: Sew Something
I’ve had a basketful of semi-sewn scraps for about ten years. That’s over a third of my life.
Today was the day to attempt to make something of them. Specifically, a pretend quilt. Some of the pieces have stories – my Year 10 formal dress (first in a dynasty of similar dresses, two others of which are also represented), a sarong, part of a woven bag from Indonesia, some curtains, some of the wrap my mum made me for my Year 12 formal, part of a cushion cover, etc.
This is how they looked when I started (after cutting many squares and sewing them in rows a decade ago):
This is how they looked partway through (sorting out the rows so they made a doona-cover shape; getting attacked by cat):
(The foot isn’t mine, incidentally. I’m not THAT hairy.)
And this is how the completed doona cover looked when I finished – and added a possessed cat I’d prepared earlier (I had sewn the combined pieces to the doona cover, cunningly remembering to leave a doona opening):
I have now spent five hours on what was an “almost finished” doona cover thingy. I ran through half a dozen bobbins (that’s a lot of thread), but accomplished the whole project without ever using a pin. Yay for “near enough is good enough”!
I also read another person’s manifesto today, which is here: http://chrisguillebeau.com/3×5/a-brief-guide-to-world-domination/comment-page-8/#comment-19751
The most important part is to ask yourself two questions:
1. What do I want out of life?
2. What can I give the world that no-one else can?
My answers were:
What do I want?
To matter.
Specifically, I want to inspire others to live heroic lives by writing excellent books, and by living a heroic life. I’ve recently altered my blog to more overtly live a life of Daily Awesomeness (as you may have noticed).
What can I give to the world that no-one else can?
My writing.
———————
I think the one thing the author should also have said is that courage is like muscles – it needs a gradual increase in exercise to get strong. So if you’re scared to go to a party – go to a party, but take a friend. Then build up to further heroic acts. If you’re scared of sewing, FLEE! FLEE LIKE THE WIND!!!!
Play along at home: What is a small fear you have (sewing definitely counts)? Do something a teensy bit brave this week, and/or fix one thing from that stupid mending basket.
