French Cooking. . . Felicity Style
I’ve successfully managed to NOT get into the Tour de France this year, which is excellent as five hours a day of additional TV (regardless of what I’m also doing as I watch) is laughably implausible at the moment. However, I did still see the first cooking segment by enthusiastic French chef Gabriel Gaté, and decided to make it. More or less.
The actual recipe is for Dutch Gouda Tartlets with mushrooms, ham, and onion. The recipe opens with instructions to make shortcrust pastry.
Mine is. . . different.
Dutch Gouda Tartlets (sans gouda, dutch-ness, mushrooms, ham, onion, and pastry):
1. Make sure you have enough bread defrosted (probably the same number of slices as you have in your large muffin tray – for us, 12).
2. Make a cheese sauce using butter, flour, milk, and pre-grated mozzarella (and ideally a thermomix). Add herbs/garlic/whatever makes it taste good to you (it’ll be fine with nothing added). You can use the proportions from the original recipe, or any white/cheese/béchamel sauce. Or a jar from Woolies.
3. Dice and cook some bacon (or just use ham 😛 Or tinned tuna/salmon. Or refried beans. Or whatever).
4. Add some kind of cooked vegetable/s – at different times I’ve used grated carrot, avocado, cauliflower, and/or bok choy.
5. Cut crusts off the bread and push them into the muffin tin spaces.
6. Pour cheese sauce mixture into bread “cases”, sprinkle more grated cheese on top, and cook in a hot oven for 10-20 minutes.
Done.
Miss Three puts the bread into the muffin tray, and get excited at the idea that we’re eating muffins.
Steamp-ow!
Before people figured out anaesthetics (still a very tricky art in 2015), surgery was all about speed. A “good” surgeon could amputate a limb in under thirty seconds. Yay?
Right now I’m working on another steampunk interactive tale – which will be free once it’s done. The above article was excellent for my research. Luckily for my protagonist, his story begins in 1854 – so chloroform is in common use. Unluckily, the real historical figure upon which the protagonist is based was on the run at the time of his amputation, so he was awake the entire time.
Peter Lalor is that protagonist, by the way. How could I resist writing about such a fascinating individual, who took centre stage more than once in crucial moments of Australian history – and who had an arm lopped off at a point that can only be described as “terribly inconvenient for him, but excellent for steampunk writers with a penchant for attaching mechanical limbs to people”?
What to wear?
In the world of interactive fiction, I very quickly discovered Emily Short, who is a clever, thoughtful, and successful writer/reviewer/blogger. In one of her reviews of a particular IF story, she went on a tangent about how she goes to gaming conferences and wonders how to dress and act in such a way that she doesn’t get idiots approaching her to give her lectures on the biz.
I’m yet to go to a proper game conference, but I go to a lot of writer/reader/fan ones.
I love a good costume, especially steampunk – which I also write. A corset tends to make any body type look better, so that works for me. Steampunk is such an easy and versatile look to do that I can take it anywhere, and people will often walk up to me saying, “Cool earrings” (or whatever), which is code for, “Hey, I like steampunk too.” And then I’ve found somebody I know I can probably talk to, even if I’m at a conference or event that tends to look askance at the entire fantasy genre (it happens in writing circles, believe me). I’ll often go in knowing I’ll be the only one in a corset, and that some people will think I’m a moron for wearing one (that was certainly the case at the CYA Conference I attended last weekend – possibly the best networking conference for writers in Australia). But ultimately it works for me very well – people tend to assume I’m a steampunk expert, in fact, which amuses me.
Costuming is a convenient path that tells people, “I’m serious about this.” Emily Short isn’t into costumes, so her choice of outfit is a great deal more complicated and subtle.
Along with the corset, I also consciously adopt an “I’m an enthusiast, not trying to be sexy” style and posture – complete with a deliberately subordinate position towards most people I talk to (generally in the form of being somewhat admiring of their wisdom and/or costume), although I’ll launch into teacher and/or helper mode at the drop of a hat (eg. When someone is too shy to approach someone, I’ll suggest we go talk to them together).
Sexy is well beyond me, and I know it. I never liked it anyway. On a really good day, I can turn “massively overweight” into “epic and magnificent”, and I’m proud of that.
This is my corset of choice at the moment:
I wear it quite loose so I can get it on by myself (with considerable difficulty). I was running late at CYA and carried it out with me in the morning, putting it on in a crowd of high-up publisher types as we waited for our taxi. One of the other writer types helped me, fortunately.
Buckles are cool.
CYA was amazing. It seriously had representatives from every large publisher in Australia (except Allen & Unwin), plus several of the best medium-sized publishers and three very good agents. I talked to literally every single one, and it was very quickly apparent where I should (or should not) send my books. Useful!
Interactive Fiction: My Shiny New Obsession
If you’ve set eyes on me for more than thirty seconds at any point this year, you know all about my shiny new obsession: interactive fiction. It’s the digital form of “Choose Your Own Adventure” novels.
As of seven minutes ago, my first publicly-available interactive fiction story is live (and also free… for now) right here – scroll down to the bottom of the linked page and click on this:
You don’t need anything more specialised than a computer, and you’ll read the book within a Firefox browser.
This particular story (which takes about twenty minutes to read) is about what happens when a two perpetual students fall through a portal into the magical, tropical world of Rahana. It’s a place where a pregnant queen’s island is under siege, and where a handshake can kill.
You, dear reader, are one of those perpetual students. You choose whether you’re male or female, happily single or crushing on your best friend (who just happens to fall through the portal with you – you also choose their gender). You decide whether you’re a natural fighter or a master manipulator; a doctor or a jack of all trades. When the battle begins, you can choose to kill or heal, to strategise or inspire. Even if you’re completely useless as a character, you get a good story out of it – and you can be someone completely different the next time you read it, too.
How does it work?
Funny you should ask.
As a player, it’s a simple matter of clicking your mouse (or in some cases your finger, since most interactive fiction can be read on smart phones) on the choice that looks best to you, then on the “Next” button to go to the next page. Your choices make a difference in various ways. Usually, choices change your statistics (for better or worse) – recording your personal traits, your relationships with others, and the skill/s you practise along the way. Later on in the game, those choices change your ability to succeed or fail in certain endeavours. You can check up on your stats along the way (there’s a button at the top of the screen), or ignore them and choose with your heart every time (that’s what I do, especially on the first read-through). I also like having “Achievements” listed as a tantalising hint of some of the story’s possibilities. There’s a button for achievements, too, but it’s not possible to gain all of them in a single play-through.
I really like the American company Choice of Games (yes, that’s why my spelling is suddenly non-patriotic) because they’re fun, non-graphic, and determined not to discriminate. In their games, it’s always possible (when relevant) to pick both your gender and orientation.
The lack of strong female characters in fiction magically disappears when a player chooses his/her own gender – and I love that!
So, that’s a lightning-fast preview of the big news I’ve been hinting at all year. “Down the Wombat Hole” isn’t even my first interactive novel…. but the details of the others will have to wait for another post! Let’s just say my days of steampunk and piracy are just beginning.
Oh, and by the way? It just so happens that “Down the Wombat Hole” is set in the same world as my print novel (coming out in 2016) “Stormhunter”. So if you’ve ever read a fantasy book and wished with all your heart you could visit it yourself, now is your chance.
Edited to add: “Down the Wombat Hole” is now part of a full-length collaborative game called LOST IN THE PAGES (with the new chapter title THE QUEEN’S CHILD, and no wombat).
And the small press Satalyte that was going to publish STORMHUNTER has stopped running, but Odyssey Books has just (as of October 2017) taken on the middle-grade pirate trilogy set in the same world, which suggests STORMHUNTER will sail again (it’s young adult, and set hundreds of years after the middle-grade trilogy, so it makes sense to publish the middle-grade trilogy first).
Naked Truth Chocolate Bars
I stumbled across these in the lolly aisle at Coles. The name reminded me instantly of “nudie” juice drinks – another deliberately cute, expensive company that pours heart and soul into being the very best in its field (and charges accordingly).
There was a wide variety of options, so I chose three.
1. Sweetie Pie: Lemon Coconut Cream Pie White Choc Bar.
This was my first taste of the Naked Truth company’s wares, and it was exquisite. The flavours of lemon, coconut and creamy white chocolate were perfectly balanced. The soft centre was a delightful surprise – I’m a sucker for different textures in food.
I regretted sharing this with Chris. (He is merely human, after all – and this is chocolate). I dream of the day when I eat another.
Five stars. If you see one, buy it for me. And another for yourself, because I ain’t sharing next time.
2. PG: Coffee Beans and Popping Candy Milk Choc Bar
I hate coffee, so I confess I really bought this for Chris, who loves popping candy, coffee, and of course chocolate (he is merely human, after all). He commented that the coffee taste was paramount – he wouldn’t have noticed the popping candy if he didn’t know it was there. For people who love chocolate coated coffee beans, this is the biz. It’s got that particular “bean” taste, but without the risk of the occasional too-dry or otherwise imperfect bean.
3. Get Naked: Fig and Macadamia Milk Chocolate Bar
I was a little disappointed that the block didn’t have the soft centre that delighted me so much in the “Sweetie Pie”. Most of the fig and macadamia pieces were on top – as if they were sprinkled on when the chocolate was partly set. It looks particularly attractive, and the chocolate was lovely, but I prefer larger macadamia pieces so the taste can be truly enjoyed.
Still a very nice chocolate block – similar in quality, cost and size to a Lindt bar, but without being divided into blocks. So you’ll either have an awkward task breaking it up… or you’ll have a serious chocoholic eat it like a bar.
How did I choose to tackle it?
Do you really need to ask?
Supanova Sydney
Oh, wow. All the wows.
It got me when I found out Nathan Fillion would be there.
It got me when I found out Dr Karl would be there.
It got me when I saw a pack of medieval cosplayers, with enormous weapons, at Sydney Central.
It got me when I asked at Central how to get to Olympic Park, and the guy said, “For Supanova, you go to… ”
It got me when a fairy and a sith lord recognised each other from online photos, and started chatting on the train.
It got me when I saw the line: a thousand strong when I arrived on a weekday, moving quickly due to clever organisation, and more entertaining to watch than a marching band.
It got me when I saw faces coming out of a man’s chest.
It got me when I saw two people riding dinosaurs.
It got me when the automatic announcement said that weapons check-in was next to first aid.
It got me when I saw Weta Workshop’s Gollum-with-his-fish.
It got me when I couldn’t actually see the other end of the dealer room.
It got me when I saw the Tardis.
It got me when a pint-sized Wonder Woman got to meet a perfect Queen Elsa.
It got me when I ran into Keri Arthur, and Tracy M. Joyce, and Kevin J. Anderson, and Donna Maree Hanson.
It got me when the pink Deadpools started dancing.
It got me when a lady who custom-makes corsets for Gallery Serpentine said she’d love to host an event for my book in Melbourne.
It got me when male Loki bowed to female Loki.
It got me when I saw the weapons booths.
It got me in Artist Alley.
It got me when I saw Kaylee in overalls.
It got me when I saw Kaylee in That Dress from “Shindig”, sweeping the floor as she came.
It got me when Darth Vader and Queen Elsa wandered by, chatting.
It got me when John Jarratt hung out in the booth across from mine (my booth is 133 with Satalyte Publishing).
It got me when my publisher wandered off with the intern and left me to run the booth solo.
It got me when I bought a drink and they called me “Jack Sparrow”.
Oh, Supanova, how I love thee.
Saturday begins in an hour and a half! It’s super cheap to just show up!!
Supanova Sydney… tomorrow!
My publisher, Satalyte, will be in the dealer room at Supanova Sydney… so I’ll be there too, starting tomorrow. You can still buy tickets for less than $40.
In a panic about what to wear to Supanova, I decided to wash all my clothes today. I also had someone coming over to fill out some paperwork related to my dodgy health.
So I met my advocate for the first time while dressed in my PJs. I’m not sure if that’s the saddest story you’ve heard today, or the most domestically badass. Either way, it’s all mine.
Homosexuality and Divorce
I really hope it’s actually a satire gone wrong, but apparently a Christian Canberra couple says they’ll divorce in protest if gay marriage becomes legal. In addition to the obvious point of, “Even if homosexuality IS a sin, how does it affect you at all? Wouldn’t that be for God to deal with, along with all the sins He’s forgiven you for?” it’s worth noting that the Bible is passionately against divorce.
It comes up far more often than homosexuality… yet those who speak passionately against homosexual marriage graciously accept those who divorce and remarry. If you are a Christian like me, stop and think about WHY you are so focused on the one sin in the Bible that applies only to a small number of people. I wrote an article about this whole issue, with Bible verses, some time ago.
Oh, and by the way – if you’ve never met a gay person, you have. Although I’m deeply in love with my husband, I am sometimes attracted to women. Does that change your view of me? If so, why?
This is what a bisexual mother of two looks like.
Tally Ho! etc
TJ’s year of daily photos is done and dusted, and I have a real live book coming out in 2016. So what happens to the blog now?
I expect to blunder about a bit this year as I find my blogerly voice once more. I know a few things:
Reading over my book reviews from back in the day made me realise they were pretty good, and I should do more. If you have a young adult fantasy novel coming out (that doesn’t have graphic or violent sex), email me at fellissimo at hotmail dot com – but be warned, I can be harsh. I prefer books on kindle, so providing a review copy is nice and cheap.
As I might have mentioned, I have a real live book coming out. That means there’ll be blog stuff about pirates, writing stuff, and conference stuff.
The kids are likely to pop up every so often, because kids. Also I’ll write about whatever’s in my head, as always – mental illness, basic human rights for refugees, sweet delicious chocolate, and so on.
And there’s another big twist in my writing career soon to be announced. . . stay tuned!
Felicity Banks 