#34: Wear jeans
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that most of you wear pants. I don’t. No pants for me. Well, almost no pants.
I look better and feel better in skirts, and most of my jeans don’t fit since I gained 18 kilos (what a surprise for jean manufacturers everywhere). But I’ve lost enough now that I can fit into my largest pair.
I didn’t even remember I was wearing that beanie. So much for dignity. This is why I’m not a fashion blogger. Also I’m semi-scowling because CJ said I looked hot, which I found frankly suspicious (while also charming).
And that’s what I look like in jeans. It’s possible you’ll never see the shape of my legs again, so enjoy.
Vegetables I ate/will eat today: Carrot, hummus, potato, brocolli and mushrooms
Fruit I ate/will eat today: Cherries (as I write), and semidried figs
I’m on day three of no lactose, to see if I’m intolerant. Not feeling any better, which bodes well for my cheese habit. Mmm. . . cheese.
Throughout July I’ll be posting a picture of either a library or a cthulu (or perhaps, someday, both) as companion to the twittertale ”When Good Libraries Go Bad.” Thames&Hudson published a book of library photos taken by Candida Höfer. You can see the details at http://www.thamesandhudson.com/9780500543146.html. This photo is a reproduction from that collection (pass your mouse over the picture to see which library it is).
Rejection Letter
Today is Tuesday. That means there’s a 50% chance Publisher B is having an acquisitions meeting today, hopefully including two books of mine. Cue angst.
Last Friday I received a rejection for my empath NaNo novel from Publisher H. Somewhat surprisingly, they gave me comments (just for the first thousand words, since they didn’t request more). My comments are in square brackets.
I’m sorry for the delay in my reply. Thank you for your submission Blind Sided. Unfortunately it is not suitable for our publishing list.
[This is the standard reply. Anything other than that is a huge deal.]
I felt thrown into the world you have created without sufficient explanation of the concept of being an empath. For example, the way empaths ‘see’ and are yet blind; their ability to sense feelings even from inanimate objects such as carpets and balconies; and the way some people can ‘cover’ their thoughts or feelings.
[I thought I’d fixed that issue, but CLEARLY I hadn’t. This is a first-draft type problem, so it’ll probably be six months before I send this book out again. Oh well. On the up side, I just had some ideas that are a MUCH better way of fixing it than my previous attempt.]
The extract from your first chapter had a nice tension to it [thanks. I thought so], but having little understanding of how this world worked, I found it hard to connect with the characters and their situation.
The idea of empaths is an interesting one, but ultimately I feel it needs further development and explanation so as not to confuse or overwhelm the reader.
[Fair enough.]
I wish you well if you look to place your manuscript elsewhere.
[And back to the standard template to end.]
So, the next thing I’ll do is a massive edit, bordering on a rewrite. I need to send “The Princess and the Pirate” to Publisher D before they forget me, so fixing that comes first.
And that’s what a writer’s life looks like. Except when it looks like this:
#170: Win a blog award
Yesterday I wandered past http://emmylennevald.blogspot.com/ and was delighted to see my own blog on the receiving end of the Versatile Blogger Awards. This award is one bloggers give each other, which makes it a special kind of award (the kind that doesn’t pay, but that’s neither here nor there).
Rule 1: Thank the person who gave you this award.
Thank you Emmy. Next time I’m hoovering in a bear costume, I’ll think of you.
Rule 2: Share 7 things about yourself.
1. My biological father is (most likely) in jail (again – he uses his computer skills to steal money, and has done so over and over again since before I existed). When I say “my Dad” you can assume I’m talking about the guy who married my mother and raised me since I was two. I don’t remember the first one, since he left when I was six months old. (Last I heard, my grandmother had spotted his name in a newspaper article saying he’d been arrested again.)
2. My phobias include noses (I don’t even like to type or say that word), weddings, sick animals, and people noticing me. This is why I wear a cloak of invisibility at all times.
3. I like the oxford comma (it’s the optional one just before the “and” in # 2).
4. I once wrote a 50,000 word book in three days. (My little fingers were really sore.)
5. I quite frequently have dreams that I’m attracted to women as well as men (*cough* hi mum. how’s things? breathing okay? good)
6. I am 175cm tall (about five foot nine). This is handy for tripping over things, looking out of place almost anywhere, and upping the national number-of-citizens-who-bashed-their-head-on-something daily average. I have converted this weakness into a strength by mocking short people at every opportunity. (And a shout-out to my oompa looma friends, Ben and Fay*! Here’s to you, kids!)
7. I am currently reading the Caiphas Cain books by Sandy Mitchell. They’re sort of really bad (set in a computer-game world, ugh), but sort of really good (excellent voice). I read several books each week, usually YA speculative fiction.
Rule 3: Pass the award along to 7 bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are fantastic.
Leaving out those Emmy mentioned, here’s mine (they’re G-rated, as far as I know, unless I say differently):
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/ very funny
http://steffmetal.com M-rated (some artsy nudity or adult themes, etc) – I am so not into metal, but Steff writes so well I follow her daily – she’s also the source of many of my awesome activities (as indicated by an “s” in the title).
http://donmilleris.com/ PG for overt Christianity. This is a guy with many issues, who mocks himself while mentioning legitimate ways to make the world better. I’m often startled (pleasantly) by his insights. He’s a NY Times bestselling author.
http://ripping-ozzie-reads.com/ – A blog shared by many excellent Aussie writers, with news and advice for writers. What a writing group!
http://www.galadarling.com/ M-rated (some artsy nudity or adult themes) Gala has the opposite personality to me, in every possible good way.
http://cba-ramblings.blogspot.com/ – A Christian literary agent who is extraordinarily kind and informative to her many wannabe-writer followers.
http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/ – you may have seen her in the Sunday paper. Nothing too heavy, but comfy and pleasant.
Rule 4: Contact the bloggers you’ve picked and let them know about the award.
I shall.
Coming soon:
Amusing wedding photos
Wear jeans
Unusual anniversary (it’ll be links to every single awesome thing so far, plus my favourite pictures)
Three-Ingredient Thursday: Breakfast (I think; suggestions welcome)
And, naturally, much more!
Here’s today’s library pic. Wear a napkin, bibliophiles. And keep an eye out for C.S. You never know when he’ll attack. . .
Once again, this is a reproduction of Candida Hofer’s Thames&Hudson book of beautiful libraries (pass your mouse over the picture to see which library it is):
Because it’s practically colonial to have just one world globe.
*Please don’t kill me with a baguette
#141: Broadway Day
Oh what a beautiful moooooorrrrrniiiiiing!
The funny thing about movies is they take a REALLY long time to watch. Especially “Oklahoma”. My friends and I watched the three-hour version (with Hugh Jackman), and it is SO not suitable for children. Wow! I think it gave me nightmares. Drugs, murder, assault, racism, and at least two things I never ever even mention on this blog (both of which happened in song, too).
We also watched “Moulin Rouge” (which I love, and always have – I was devastated the first time I saw it, because I was so hoping Satine’s predicted death was a metaphor). We planned to watch “Sweeney Todd” (speaking of the unsuitable-for-children variety of musicals) and “Singing in the Rain” (which actually *IS* the hearty, happy musical that we innocently expect from “Oklahoma”), but we ran out of time.
Also, I think something happened to our brains. (And no, there wasn’t any alcohol. At all.)
I have hazy recollections of Fay beating up Ben with a baguette, of myself lurking around the kitchen with a hammer, and of Fay doing strange and wonderful things to my hair.
If CJ is killed with a hammer, I’m going to be in soo much trouble.
I find it suspicious that no photos were taken of Fay beating up Ben. If he’s killed by a baguette, I for one will be asking questions.
Since I’m eating healthily these days, we ate hommus and turkish bread, home-made soup, cheddar-sprinkled corn kernels, and more hommus with celery, capsicum and carrot. And lasagna for dinner.
(I have successfully lured my second brilliant author to the blog this year – Sandy Fussell herself commented on S#29: Write to your idols.)
No cthulhus were harmed (this one’s from Flickr – he is facing the White House, with – as you can see – a thoughtful expression):
#122: Hummus Hat Trick
My blender hates me.
It’s sad, when I love my blender so much. But it’s true. It’s skulking in the corner of the kitchen bench right now, glaring at the wall. It won’t even look at me in case I get ideas.
He’s overworked, I know. Hummus was the third thing I made him make this week (after a huge pile of soup and a delicious citrus thing), and it’s only fair that he wants to retire. Or maybe become a toaster (I practically never use the toaster).
It was the hummus that really made him mad. I found a recipe with no tahini (sesame paste), because I didn’t have any tahini. That left olive oil, lemon juice, cumin, garlic, a whole lot of chickpeas, and an unspecified quantity of water.
I chucked them all in the blender and pushed the relevent button – callously disregarding specific instructions about liquid content.
Sound the blender makes when blending juice:
whirrrrrrrr
Sound the blender makes when blending soup:
thk thk thk whirrrrr
Sound the blender makes when blending hummus:
thkthkCRACKCRACKCRACK
*silence*
*smoke*
It’s possible I should have added more water.
The hummus was delicious, though. And it stays fresh for a week, so I’m eating some every day.
Gandalf is visibly recovering from Sherlock’s attacks (for those new to the blog: hi! Welcome! They’re fish).
There’s a guest post today at Urban Muse:
http://www.urbanmusewriter.com/2010/07/guest-post-gods-need-social-networking.html
Tomorrow: Broadway Day (including incriminating photos)
And, from bookshelfporn.com:
Age
I like getting older. I associate advancing age with better knowledge of how to deal with life, and definitely with better perspective (lost in a foreign country? Been there! Dumped by a first love? Been there! Chronic illness? Been there! Lost a best friend? Been there!)
It’s weird and sad, though, to realise that by the measure of wider society my prettiest moments are all gone. Seems like I’ve lost some kind of opportunity. But it’s just another reason to be grateful – others in their late twenties must be losing the only thing they ever liked about themselves. (Not losing completely, of course – a lot of people look better with wrinkles, or more body fat, or grey hair, or simply the sly twinkle of old age in their eye.)
Aging is the new puberty. My body is changing and I may as well just go with it. At least, looking at my mum and grandma, I know exactly where I’m heading. (Unless cyborg surgery becomes the norm, of course.)
Guest post today at http://www.urbanmusewriter.com/2010/07/guest-post-gods-need-social-networking.html
#119: Cook with home-grown herbs
I made a wonderful thing today. (Once again, it’s a serve of fruit, cunningly disguised as junk food due to the obscene sugar content.)
I squeezed one and a half oranges, two lemons, and three limes. That made about a cup and a half of juice. I added a cup of sugar and a cup and a half of water, plus half a teaspoon of bicarb soda (the secret ingredient).
Once they were mixed, they served five people – on the rocks, and strewn with mint leaves from my own mint plant.
I’ve never cooked with anything I grew* before. It was incredibly satisfying – and of course, insanely delicious.
Oh! And while I remember, I should mention that in this month’s twittertale each name is a tribute to a great writer (particularly those I associate with libraries) –
Nix, the monster mage, is named after Garth Nix. Apart from being a brilliant writer, he is a good person (and a Canberran). And he’s especially deserving of this tribute, since “Lirael” (the second book of his YA trilogy) has some of the msot excellent library scenes you’ll ever see.
Steve, the narrator/air mage, is named after Stephen Moffat, who’s written all the truly excellent recent “Dr Who” episodes (including one in an abandoned library).
Terry, the mind mage, is named after Terry Prachett, in tribute to the Unseen University library that features in many of his discworld books.
Phil, the muscle mage, is named after both Philip Reeve (his “Larklight” series is the funniest adventure series ever, and is safe for any age) and Philip Pullman (who has never once written an ordinary book).
The cthulhus are secretly named Clive (after C. S. Lewis) and Pam (after Pamela Freeman). Just because they’re excellent (the writers are excellent, I mean – although the cthulhus are too).
*stole
And from bookshelfporn.com, here’s another wonderful thing:
“When Good Libraries Go Bad” so far
1
A tentacle circled my neck, squeezing the life out of me with agonizing skill. “Steve!” came Terry’s voice. “Steve! Wake up!”
*
I opened my eyes to Terry, leaning over me. He looked scruffy without his mind-mage robes on. “Your cthulhu nightmares suck.”
“Sorry.”
*
We got up for breakfast. As the mind-mage, Terry got cereal. Phil the muscle-mage got steak. As air-mage, I got zip. And MY robe is puce.
2
“Oi, Steve, stop being nervous,” said Terry.
I said, “Shut up or I’ll CO2 you.”
Phil cracked a smile, exercising at least twenty muscles.
*
We hiked across the desert toward the Forbidden Library. Terry cleared his throat when we were still twenty miles away: “I sense something.”
*
Phil tensed, ready to attack. Terry shook his head: “It’s dead – but still radiating.”
“So. . . ?” I prompted.
Terry said: “It’s a cthulhu.”
3
Five miles away, and I tasted dead cthulhu on the air. Phil was sure he could make the corpse slither away, though, so that was reassuring.
*
At last we reached the three storey iron- and bone-bound doors of the outer library. I sensed breathable air inside. “After you, Phil.”
*
Phil focused, and the great doors cracked open, spraying chunks of blood-stained iron bigger than my house. “And now we wait,” said Terry.
4
We barely slept. I had nightmares, but Terry had his own to distract him. At dawn, we heard the rustling of pages. We waited back to back.
*
A pack of graphic novels emerged and sniffed at my feet. They smelled what I wanted them to smell – a friend. And so they imprinted on me.
*
When I judged my literature army to be big enough, we walked inside. A single giant tentacle lay across the threshold. I removed the stench.
5
More books joined me every hour – everything from gardening to war. I was dizzy with the smell of leather bindings and dust.
*
Phil wanted to move the tentacle, but Terry insisted we climb it. Some mountaineering books made steps for us, and it only took a few hours.
*
“There’s a problem,” Terry whispered.
I said, “What?”
“The cthulhu – it’s either a mother or a daughter. And I can’t tell which is alive.”
6
We ducked into a cobweb-strewn chamber and were attacked by a squad of how-to books. They pounded my head and I wasn’t able to focus.
*
Phil pushed me aside and tore apart the books with his mind. Terry was taken over by empathic rage and he punched me in the gut. I folded.
*
Ten books rushed Phil at once and I reached out with my mind and made him smell of oil just in time. They calmed down, and Terry did too.
7
“It’s Nix,” Terry told us at last.
I said, “The monster mage! No wonder WE were sent. We need to find his spell book – and destroy it.”
*
Phil coughed: “How will we do it?”
“1. Look, and 2. Live,” said Terry.
I said, “You know what a cthulhu’s weakness is? They’re too big.”
*
“How is size a disadvantage?” Phil asked.
I said, “Because hopefully they won’t notice us.”
“Right,” he whispered.
8
Terry shook me awake. “They took Phil!” I stood at once, but all my books were asleep and there were no others to be seen. Terry whimpered.
*
“Is that your fear or his?” I said.
Terry said, “His. Which means he’s still alive.”
“Good.” I sent a shelf of James Bonds to find Phil.
*
I asked, “Do you think it was Nix or the live cthulhu that took Phil?”
“Nix. I can feel him laughing. And he knows I can hear him.”
9
The Bond books returned with an illustrated series on the Moulin Rouge. I altered the air so they fled in disgrace.
[there’s more to come today, but I haven’t written it yet 😦 ]
All but one of my books are off in the world, slicking down their hair and trying to look their best. The other one is promised to Publisher D (I acquired a publisher’s email address at the writing con last Saturday), but the beginning isn’t working right.
I may have ruined my healthy eating yesterday, since I ate five biscuits and a jam donut (plus a sugar-packed home-made lemonade). I hope I can still make my next weight target of 76.5 kilos, but it’s certainly not a sure thing. I’ll swim today and tomorrow, and hope for the best.
It’s VERY noticeable that my writing suffers when I eat less chocolate. That’s not good.
At least it’s not cocaine.
Publisher A will announce the long list of their edit-my-manuscript-with-me competition next week.
Three-Ingredient Thursday: Baked Apple
Does the existence of fruit make a dessert healthy? You decide.
1. Peel and core the apple.
2. Block one end of the hole with butter and put a whole lot of sugar and a bit of cinnamon inside before blocking the other end with more butter.
3. Cook on high in the microwave about three minutes (the apple should look like pie apple when it’s done – yellow instead of white).
4. Forget to take a picture until you’ve eaten most of it.
Every so often, the thought of fruit turns my stomach, especially when I just know that apple lurking in the fridge is going to be sour. This method solves that problem, and is especially delicious in Winter.
Tomorrow: Cook with your home-grown herbs (or in my case, the mint plant I stole from the neighbours).
Coming soon: A linked list to every single awesome thing I’ve done so far.
Throughout July I’ll be posting a picture of either a library or a cthulu (or perhaps, someday, both) as companion to the twittertale “When Good Libraries Go Bad.” Thames&Hudson published a book of library photos taken by Candida Höfer. You can see the details at http://www.thamesandhudson.com/9780500543146.html. This photo is a reproduction from that collection (pass your mouse over the picture to see which library it is).
Felicity Banks 