Dr Yes: Personal Flying Machine
1- Gryphon Attack Glider
Formerly known as The ESG Gryphon Personal Flying Wing this has to be the ultimate in Spy Gear! It has a maximum glide speed of 135 mph and has a heads up display and even onboard oxygen for those high altitude launches. This baby can carry a payload of 100lbs of onboard gear and has hard mount points for hooking up tactical bombs or missiles! With a glide range of 125 miles and a radar cross section of a seagull (or Stealth Bomber) you can glide into North Korea take out The Great Leader and like Ace Rimmer be back in time for a smoked kipper for breakfast. Only thing is you’ll need an extraction team as landing is acheived by separation from the wing which will activate your parachute.
Dr Yes: Are you a heroic sidekick?
I’ve written a new kind of personality test – whether a person is a hero type or a heroic sidekick. I’m in the beginning stages of designing a much more interactive web site for my stories, and this is part of it. I need test monkeys… and that’s where YOU come in.
Please answer the questions with true or false, then put your results in the comments (along with any actual comments about the test and what you think of it). I’ll give you your personality breakdown shortly.
Hero or Heroic Sidekick?
True or False (or Neither)
1. Life without a purpose is not worth living.
2. If no-one tells me what to do, nothing much gets done.
3. I don’t mind letting someone else make the decisions.
4. I love motivating people.
5. I can handle a tough boss more easily than a tough employee.
6. I don’t like being given responsibility.
7. I make life interesting.
8. I enjoy life for what it is.
9. When my friends want something unusual, I make it happen.
10. People enjoy having me around.
11. If a job isn’t meaningful to me, I resign.
12. I struggle with my boss/es regularly.
13. I almost always get on with people. It’s not hard for me.
14. I don’t suffer fools gladly.
15. I am a natural leader.
16. I will fight to the death for something I believe in.
17. I don’t worry about the future.
18. I’m easily satisfied.
19. I am brave (or possibly stupid).
20. I am a peaceful person (or possibly lazy).
21. I suspect I’m difficult to live with.
22. If I was any more laid back, I’d be dead.
Dr Yes: Real-Life Military Lairs
I’ve talked about lairs before, and today at Steff Metal I discovered a link to a number of stunningly beautiful star-shaped military fortresses. This kind of fortress was invented around the same time as the cannonball, which explains the “why” (even the moats are genuinely useful). Or you could just look at them, and drool.
http://weburbanist.com/2010/03/11/starry-knights-14-stellar-star-shaped-fortresses/
Dr Yes: Steampunk Party
Here’s another stellar example of a steampunk birthday party. The first picture is me.
Dr Yes: Freaky Flatmates
I discovered a very new, very funny blog today, and decided reading someone’s blog is SORT OF like spying. . . so it’ll suffice for today’s spy-related blog entry. I’d rate it PG (thus far) for mention of sex. Given that it’s about unusual flatmates, that rating is likely to go up. . .
Dr Yes: Story So Far
1.
I unclipped Yen’s handcuffs and went down on one knee under the tropical sun of her prison-island home. “My darling, will you marry me?”
*
“’Kay,” she said.
I stood and kissed her tenderly, then ran for the chaplain. When he was ready to go, I decided to freshen up.
* (3 hour gap)
I emerged resplendent to find the priest knocked out, my ornithopter gone, and my fiancé. . . well, she was obviously still doing her hair.
2.
The love of my life, gone! She may still be cross that I killed her power-mad mum. But surely she doesn’t STILL want to destroy the world?
*
Time to be a super-handsome super-spy again. Thank goodness for plastic surgery. Yen was born in Beijing, so I got a flight there at once.
*
I was met at the airport by a strangely attractive nun who took me deep underground before telling me the horrible truth: “Yen’s my cousin.”
3.
In laws! They’re always so tetchy. I let the nun torture me a few hours and then knocked her out with a high-kick to the face. Then I fled.
4.
I searched for Yen in the shopping district. As I tried on an especially snazzy shirt in the back, I heard the nun’s nasal tones.
*
The evil nun was apparently in league with my shopkeeper! A deadly pair! I duct-taped shut the mouths of the other patrons and listened in.
*
“Yen’s in Beijing – and so’s that British superspy,” said the nun.
The shopkeeper said, “We’ll kill them both!”
“Perfect. Hey, nice shirts!”
5.
I bought hundreds of TV and streetside ads warning Yen of her mortal danger – and asking her to pretty please return my ornithopter.
*
As I returned to my hotel after another day of searching, I found a single long-stemmed black rose on my pillow. She still loved me!
6.
I spotted Yen trying on shoes and gave chase. She was too quick, but I taped my two high-tech matchbox cars to my feet for more speed.
*
Matchbox-car skating requires the perfect balance that only MI6 training can give. Unfortunately it’s been a while and I crashed into Yen.
*
I clicked my sleeping-gas pen in her face and carried her over the threshold into my – our – hotel room until she regained consciousness.
7.
Yen awoke, but didn’t seem to appreciate the scattered rose petals or the scented candles surrounding her. Then she peeled off her mask!
*
I gasped, “Mrs Fu!”
“In the flesh!”
“But. . . I threw you into a volcano. I think your daughter may still be miffed.”
“Mums are made tough.”
8.
After we’d caught up on the latest in international spy goss, Mrs Fu and I tested one another with tea. I gave her just a pinch of arsenic.
*
I tasted my own tea cautiously. Cyanide, yes. But only a token amount. Mrs Fu and I understood one another perfectly: no death – for now.
*
Mrs Fu said she knew exactly where Yen was hiding. We caught a train to the Great Wall. “Um, isn’t the Great Wall rather. . . long?” I said.
9.
We searched all night and day. Suddenly we found ourselves surrounded by Shaolin monks. “He’s with me,” said Mrs Fu.
They said, “We’re not.”
*
I grabbed my trusty blow-up gum but the monks wore titanium robes. No fair! They whipped out pens – strangely familiar pens. Noooo!!!
*
10.
Regained consciousness briefly while having a dream about killer mushrooms. One of the monks hit me on the head, and the mushrooms returned.
11.
I awoke strapped to the Great Wall with my own duct tape. Had intense déjà vu. Mrs Fu was taped beside me, and so was a black rose.
*
“It’s all right Mrs Fu – Yen must be safe if she’s given me a rose.”
“Great. End of story then. I’m afraid Yen no longer needs our help.”
*
I said, “But. . . it can’t be the end. I haven’t done anything heroic yet.”
“Why don’t you heroically help me down, then?” said Mrs Fu.
12.
Mrs Fu and I walked back along the wall while she tried to explain something about my relationship with Yen. I’m sure it wasn’t important.
*
My shoe phone rang. I answered, “Bind. Jimmy Bind.”
“HQ here. We need you to track the fugitive Yen Fu. Naturally she’s been microchipped.”
*
Mrs Fu and I followed the beeps back to a cunningly disguised lair beneath the Great Wall. We hid ourselves outside and waited.
Dr Yes: Spy Vs Spy
The “tea” bit of “Dr Yes” was clearly inspired by these guys (more stuff on them at www.ybcw.com/strip1.php – this is their first appearance in print):
Dr Yes: Spy Car from U.N.C.L.E.
I never saw the show this car is from (and it only appeared in a few episodes), but I like to think the girl comes with it.
The vehicle had many mock features, including flame throwers, machine guns, rocket lauchers, laser beams, a radar screen, parachute, and various hidden interior devices. It even had operating marine propellers, but the car was not amphibious.
Note the rocket launcher tubes in the gullwing doors.
One of the teensy problems with the car was getting in and out (like THAT’S important).
“You should have seen Stephanie try to get in and out in a skirt in those days” said George Lehr, associate producer of the series. “Trying to get up over that step and into the gullwing (door opening) in a hurry was a feat. She told us ‘You guys are crazy’.”
The car is now owned by a fan of the show.
Dr Yes: Further ninja cats
I found these over at http://www.nocleansinging.com/2010/03/07/catz/
and recognised what they were (evil ninjas) immediately.
Dr Yes: Spy Gadgets
You’ll love today’s spy gadget – and it’s made in China. I want a watch that had a video recorder, camera, and USB!
