Marvel-ous Day 1
Like every half-decent superhero geek, I plan to do a full rewatch of all the Marvel Cinematic Universe movies from Iron Man to Spider-Man: Far From Home aka The Infinity Saga aka Phase 1-3.
I’ll avoid any and all trivia, because there is SO MUCH, and I’ll stick to my personal reaction to the films as they stand. Sadly I wasn’t able to watch them in the correct order the first time around due to often being too sick to watch movies for months at a time (while pregnant twice).
I’ll rate each movie as fine (1 star), good (2), or great (3 stars but in a highly subjective manner—if it’s got a special place in my heart, it gets three stars even if its just for one very special scene or image). There are a lot of 3 star ratings, because there are a lot of great movies in here. Plus themes of ‘good versus evil’ and ‘fighting on even when it hurts’ are very resonant with me, and the idea of having super powers and changing the world for good is basically my ultimate fantasy.
I began watching at 2:55pm on Wednesday, June 24 2020.
NB: I may have the stones info wrong. They’re not all that interesting, to be honest.
Also, you’ll notice a lot of the images I use are very obviously taken off a simple google image search (complete with a minimising ‘x’ etc). That is because I am lazy (and trying to watch the movies as I type), and because it is SO easy to get the exact right image with a basic search eg ‘Iron Man tank top’.
***IRON MAN (2008) Disney +
Main superhero: Tony Stark aka Iron Man.
One-sentence summary: Stark swears off weapons then immediately makes the best one ever.
Two-sentence summary: Billionaire genius Tony Stark realises his company is supplying weapons to the USA’s enemies and decides to stop weapons manufacture. Then he builds the iron man suit, which is more powerful than any other weapon, and he becomes a superhero as a result—which he spontaneously admits at a press conference.
This is an incredibly good movie, from the very first scene which is charming and funny—and then hits you hard.
The scientist character (Yensen) in Afghanistan is so awesome. And he’s alone and doomed but still wears a waistcoat. Respect, Sir.
Stark: “I’m going to be dead in a week anyway.”
Scientist: “Then this is a very important week.”
When I experience such good writing, usually of the ‘all hope is gone but we persevere’ variety, it makes me a better, stronger person. And reminds me of what I want to create in the hearts of my readers.
Also, this is a beautiful thing:
It’s amazing to see the beginnings of some of the characters that are such a big part of the MCU for years and years to come. Iron Man, obviously. Pepper Potts (love interest and workmate). Happy (Stark’s security guy). Coulson (S.H.I.E.L.D. guy) Paul Bettany’s voice (Stark’s extremely intelligent computer system, Jervis). James “Rhodey” Rhodes (Stark’s military friend/handler who will get his own iron man suit in a few films’ time). Stan Lee cameos. Oh, and Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury (boss of S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers Initiative).
The scene in which Stark has Pepper replace his arc reactor from inside his chest is just incredible. It perfectly showcases his vulnerability (and her vulnerability and competence)… and what an asshole he is at the same time.
*
Stark about Rhodes: “Ask him about that lovely lady he woke up with. What was his name?”
Ouch. Trans humour. Not okay.
*
Speaking of ouch: Pepper Potts attempts to explain consent to her boss as he makes her dance with him while she’s clearly very uncomfortable. Kids, this is an excellent example of a ‘romantic’ trope that is actually deeply messed up and wrong.
*
Stark leaves the beardy baddie for a bunch of refugees, including children, to deal with? What are they supposed to do? Wait for the police to come? No, they’re going to kill him themselves. In front of their kids. You know what? That’s not as fun and awesome as the movie seems to think.
I’m really glad the big bad isn’t Muslim or Middle Eastern, though.
*
I’m 100% okay with comic book physics.
*
My absolute favourite moment in the climactic fight is when Stark flies super high, knowing that Obadiah would never have tried flying that high for sheer fun, like he did in his montage earlier. I also love what they do with size: the baddie’s suit is so much bigger than Stark’s suit, and then there’s Pepper, tiny little Pepper, tottering through piles of broken glass in her heels.
Chris and I (we were dating at the time) walked out of this movie delighted with how simply fun it was. Marvel gets criticised for undercutting so many emotional moments with funny lines, but I for one enjoy a dumb, colourful reality where the good guys are good (although also flawed) and they get to make a real difference. I enjoy that silly escapism more and more all the time.
And that post-credits scene blew our minds (Chris had to explain who Fury was; he is extremely knowledgeable on all things comics and graphic novel). Little did we know what an enormous phenomenon was just beginning.
In other news, I REALLY like Stark’s Malibu sea-cliff house. Can I have it please?
Post-credits scene: Epic reveal that there’s gonna be a whole UNIVERSE (as it were) of superheroes.
*THE INCREDIBLE HULK (2008) Had to rent it off YouTube 😦
Superhero: Dr Bruce Banner aka The Hulk aka The Incredible Hulk
One-sentence summary: Banner is found by the government but eventually manages to go back into hiding.
Longer summary: Not necessary. The ex-girlfriend and the Abomination (another hulk, but spikier) are super important in this film but will never be seen again.
There are SO many tellings and retellings of this story (beginning of course with Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde) that it can be a little tricky to get the right version. Knowing the year helps.
By far the most iconic scene in this film is the blood drop falling in a drink factory, and Dr Banner freaking out about it.
This is not a film I was looking forward to re-watching, but it’s got a lot of good stuff going on (putting the entire origin story in the opening credits was very wise, especially in a phase rife with origin stories). The chase scene in which Dr Banner has to keep his pulse down is great (fantastic scenery and good characterisation).
I’m not super sure about the beauty and the beast trope, but I don’t hate it.
Liv Tyler manages to get a cheekbone-highlighting cut in just the same place as she did in The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring.
First use of “Hulk Smash!” (by the Hulk; not as memorable as it will be later).
The final shot of Dr Banner meditating himself into a green-eyed smile is the other iconic moment of the film. I interpret it as meaning that, although he’s not “cured” as such, he is able to control his transformations now.
Overall this movie isn’t bad.
Post-credits scene: Stark chatting to a guy about possibly maybe joining The Avengers. Not actually that exciting, except that we didn’t expect to see Stark.
***IRON MAN 2 (2010) Disney +
Superhero: Tony Stark/Iron Man & introducing Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow. “Rhodey” Rhodes gets to be War Machine for the first time.
One-sentence summary: Stark refuses to let the military use his suit design and says it’ll be fine because bad people definitely won’t be able to make any suits; two different baddies make suits.
Two-sentence summary: Stark is brought into court because his suit is so powerful it should not be owned by one man because there are others building copies; Stark says it’ll be ages before there’s a decent copy and is promptly attacked by two other fully functional iron man suits and countless drone suits. He blows up a bunch of things, including a large model of the world, and is then given a medal. It’s good to be a rich white man.
There’s a nice Natasha Romanoff (Black Widow) intro.
There’s a central cast change for Rhodey/Rhodes (aka War Machine).
Elon Musk cameo. Remember when he was cool?
Iconic moment: Stark’s suitcase suit. The entire race/attack scene is excellent and memorable.
It’s good to see War Machine and Iron Man fighting the big bad together, especially given all that they go through friendship-wise in this film.
*
There was an moment in Iron Man 1 when Tony was drinking something very green and healthy-looking, which seemed a little out of character for such an irresponsible playboy. But in this movie we find out WHY. The amount of planning and connections in the MCU is absolutely incredible eg Coulson says, “I have to go see something out in New Mexico” (that’d be Thor’s hammer). That sense of overall purpose and consistency was extremely lacking in the most recent Star Wars trilogy.
It’s weird to see Black Widow flirting with Stark. Fortunately it doesn’t last long, and was 100% manipulation on her part.
For me the thing that makes this movie special is how Stark’s heart is literally killing him. It’s strange to rewatch it and see that it’s a relatively small plot point. For me, it’s everything.
Post-credits scene: Coulson in New Mexico seeing a giant crater (that is, a teaser for Thor).
***THOR (2011) Disney +
Superhero: Thor aka uh… just Thor (technically Thor Odinsson, but no one will ever call him Mr Odinsson so no need to remember that). And everyone’s favourite hero/villain/repeat: his (adopted) brother Loki. And the hammer, Mjölnir. And oh, hello Hawkeye (aka Clint Barton). I 100% forgot you were in this film but actually you’re pretty cool in it.
Infinity Stone: The Tesseract aka the space stone (blue and shiny, not to be confused with the Casket of Ancient Winters, which was also blue and shiny and in Thor but is irrelevant to everything).
One-sentence summary: The god of thunder becomes less of an asshole.
Seeing a god as a fish out of water is genuinely amusing (people keep being surprised at how good a comedic actor Chris Hemsworth is). The most iconic scene is when Thor fights through a bunch of guys to get to the hammer… and he can’t lift it. The pain of that moment is what makes the film great (for me).
Hawkeye appears as one of Coulson’s S.H.I.E.L.D. people, and has a great opening line, as he is training an arrow on Thor. “You better call it Coulson, because I’m about to start rooting for this guy.”
Post credit scene: Somehow S.H.I.E.L.D. now has the blue shiny soul stone (aka The Tesseract, in its very first appearance), and also Loki is alive (surprise!) and looks like he’s in the process of getting hold of it.
***CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER (2011) Disney +
Superheroes: Captain America, aka Steve Rogers. His best friend Bucky Barnes, later to become the Winter Soldier.
Stones: The Nazis have the Tesseract aka the space stone, which is blue (when Schmit holds it, it appears to kill him but actually sends him into space, to the planet with the soul stone, and changes actors at the same time but since his face is a red skull I didn’t notice the cast change until Chris pointed it out), which Steve takes into the ice with him at the end. Stark Sr finds it while looking (unsuccessfully) for Steve.
One-sentence summary: A good-hearted weakling turns into a good-hearted superhero.
Longer summary: A super nice kid turns magical but doesn’t stop being fundamentally kind and good. He sacrifices his life to save others (and wakes up seventy years later).
I really wasn’t enthusiastic about a hero with such a jingoistic, USA, ra-ra name. But of course now he’s my favourite of all the characters in all these movies, because his character is so pure. That is the heart of his heroism, and the heart of this movie. Bucky is also a thoroughly decent and great-hearted man, which is shown several times over. And of course we meet Peggy Carter (aka Agent Carter), and get the beginning of that tragically-shortened romance.
It’s fun to see Stark’s dad (also a genius playboy and very much involved in SCIENCE) and a Stark expo, including the giant world sculpture that gets set on fire in Iron Man 2.
The opening two scenes are a tad generic. It feels like the MCU is already getting a bit overwhelmed with the masses of its own information, and also that they realised (correctly) that “wimp getting beaten up” wasn’t the greatest opening scene for the film.
The scene of Steve getting injected with the super soldier serum is made iconic by Steve’s shout of, “I can do this!” when they’re about to shut down the (very painful) experiment. And of course by Peggy’s hilarious reaction when he comes out of the tank just so buff.
That scene feeds immediately into a fantastic chase scene that shows even more of Steve’s excellent character as well as helping us the audience and Steve discover his powers. And when a baddie chucks a boy into water and Steve immediately looks to see if he’s all right, the boy says, “Go get him! I can swim.” It’s a great moment.
And then there’s the pain he can’t quite hide as he’s made into a publicity stunt when he wants to be fighting… and he’s still kind to everyone he meets, and he can still smile wryly when one of his own very embarrassing propaganda films is showing when he goes to see a movie.
*
Speaking of iconic: when he walks back into a military camp, dirty and tired, with four hundred rescued soldiers… it’s so satisfying.
Losing Bucky is iconic too, because of Steve’s reaction.
The two nazi baddies (Zemo and Schmit I think) reappear multiple times throughout the Infinity Saga, but you don’t need to bother remembering them because as soon as they enter the room you can tell they’re evil, and as soon as they start talking their accent says, “Yep, Nazi”.
I am so glad that the MCU never “developed” Captain America’s character into an asshole, as so often happens with any story that lasts a long time. The knowledge that he’s still so noble and good fifteen movies later makes this movie even better.
It’s 2:30am now, and I’m close to the end of this film. Just one more film to cap off Phase 1, but can I make it? Even at home, switching between my laptop and the TV, my bed and my armchair, the sheer number of hours is now taking a toll. I’m doing some gentle physio exercises to keep from lasting injury.
I’m pretty much a hero, is what I’m saying.
At the end of this film, when Steve said goodbye to Peggy over the radio as he deliberately crashed his plane, I had tears in my eyes. But that might just be what happens after this many hours of TV.
The final scene is Steve waking up in the modern day. Which has a great, eerie feel to it as people have tried to ease the shock by setting up a fake environment in which no time has passed.
Post-credits scene: Samuel L Jackson recruits Steve. It’s totally meh these days, but at the time it was an exciting sign that they really were going to put all these superheroes together. I can’t tell you how unlikely this all was.
I suppose I’d rather live in the alternate reality which has intelligent/compassionate/honest politicians and mediocre TV, but for now I’ll enjoy what this reality does best: TV and movies to make us feel better about… everything else that’s happening.
MARVEL’S THE AVENGERS (2012) Disney +
Superheroes: Our original six: Iron Man, Black Widow, The Hulk (new actor; the final major cast replacement in this whole saga), Thor, Hawkeye, Captain America.
Stone: The Tesseract aka the Space Stone (blue). And Loki’s sceptre, which holds the mind stone (it’s blue in this film due to being powered by the Tesseract, but it’s usually purple).
One-sentence summary: Loki tries and fails to use a shiny to get more shinies.
Longer summary: Loki reaches peak evil (later ret-cons say the mind stone was making him more evil than he truly wanted to be). Hawkeye spends most of the movie as his zombie puppet. Black Widow is clever and competent. Thor is big and dumb. Iron Man is shiny and dumb. Captain America and Dr Banner do their best to be vaguely useful despite major negative emotions (grief and anger, respectively), and they fundamentally succeed.
Hmm. 2 hours 24 minutes. That’ll take me to almost 6am. That’s… not ideal. But now that I’ve started this re-watch, I know it’ll be my obsession until it’s done. Better push on…
Ugh, baddie rant as an opening scene. Boooring. It’s all about exposition, and we all know it.
But it gets forgiven, because there are over six main characters and they all get a chance to shine. Back in those innocent days, we thought no movie would ever be more impressively over-stuffed with heroes. Lolz.
Black Widow’s torture/interrogation scene is iconic, including this exchange:
Coulson: We need you to come in.
Black Widow: Are you kidding? I’m working!
Also iconic is the way she ‘requests’ help from The Hulk by first luring him out of the city and then lying that it’s “just you and me”. Soft voices, high tension.
*
There’s another iconic scene in Germany, when Loki forces a crowd to kneel and says,
“You were made to kneel.”
An elderly man gets up and says, “Not to men like you.”
Loki: “There are no men like me.”
“There are always men like you.”
That will never fail to thrill me.
The film uses bickering to quickly re-establish the characters of our six main heroes, and it works very well. There’s even some fan service in having heroes fight each other (plenty more of that to come, naturally). The bickering doesn’t just make us laugh and establish character at the same time. It’s also showing the negative effects of the mind stone. So that’s three in one. With a movie this packed, scenes have to do triple duty.
And it’s actually four in one, because it’s foreshadowing when Captain America says Stark “isn’t the one to make the sacrifice play”. Because he is, in this film and in others. For once, Captain America is wrong.
Speaking of fan service, this is the film that launched a million ships. It’s lovely how the science bros immediately connect (Banner and Stark), and the sexual (?) chemistry between Stark and Steve (aka Stony) is sizzling (the ‘hate each other then work well together in an emergency then grow grudging respect and then emotional closeness’ trope is SO COMMON in romance). Of course, in a few films’ time Captain America is also part of the three-way pairing known as “All Caps”: Captain America, Bucky Barnes, and Sam Wilson (aka The Falcon). Close male bonds are always beautiful, and they’re my favourite ships. My all-time favourite is Captain America and Bucky, aka Stucky, mostly because those two are so close and at the same time so sad. And/or All Caps. I really like Stony, too, but Tony and Pepper work really well so I wouldn’t break them up.
It’s 4:36am and this movie is so good that I’m genuinely enthralled even after a-l-l these hours.
Coulson dies (he gets better, but only for the S.H.I.E.L.D. TV series, and lots of flashbacks), and as a result The Avengers get their heads together and start working as a team.
Chitauri aliens are both iconic and world-changing; they are clearly alien, and Earth will never be the same. I love how they move.
The moment when the six Avengers stand together mid battle, is the ultimate iconic moment of this movie, and of Phase 1 of the MCU.
And then there’s three delicious Hulk moments:
When Hulk says, “That’s my secret Cap: I’m always angry”—and changes into the Hulk with perfect control*.
When Captain America assigns everyone jobs, and says, “Hulk. Smash!”
…and when the Hulk grabs Loki and bashes him on the ground like a rag doll. Then walks off saying, “Puny god.”
Post-credits scene 1: We glimpse Thanos for the first time. Very exciting at the time.
Post-credits scene 2: The main six sit together eating Shawarma. It’s a lovely coda.
Boy howdy gee that’s a lot of films. And I’m just getting started. But the truly amazing part is that so many of these films are really, really good.
*This is especially meaningful to me as someone with an anxiety disorder, because I’m always afraid. Every day, for absolutely no rational reason. So when something truly scary happens, I feel fantastic, because for once my fear level matches the actual threat level. As a result, I do really well with scary things (for up to three weeks, then I collapse). Banner appears to be an incredibly calm, affable guy. I also appear calm. It might be the 5:58am talking, but I’m pretty sure that makes me a superhero of some kind.
I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want
The biggest personality difference between Chris and I is that Chris is so calm that if he was any calmer he’d be dead, and I am so stressed that I basically vibrate 24/7. We have a ‘stone and feather’ kind of relationship where he is strong and steady and I might be fragile but I can FLY.
I want things. Not just in a capitalist way, but also in an almost spiritual way. While a lot of people struggle to come up with ideas, or to follow through on ideas, I am very bad at letting go of ideas. And I have plenty. Even if, magically, everything on this list came true, I would definitely find something else to want. It’s my nature.
Sometimes, it’s worth writing down what you want, even if it seems impossible. So that is what’s happening today. Some of these things are more possible than others. Some are obviously self-serving and/or motivated by some kind of deep-seated psychological issue. Oh, and Louisette is mentioned a lot (while TJ isn’t) because TJ is doing great in every area and Louisette is mostly great but there are threats to her happiness on every side (mostly because of her ADD).
Still.
I want a jacuzzi and an easy-access lap pool. Both at my house, or as close as possible.
I want a building that looks like a castle. It doesn’t have to be mine; I just want it to exist. In Canberra, because of me. And to be able to go and visit it in some capacity at least once. Maybe for the Conflux Speculative Fiction Festival?
I want a disability-friendly evac centre (or several; one in each major area of Canberra at least).
I want to know refugees are looked after and welcomed, not just into safety (in Australia) but into living communities.
I want to know I’m making a difference.
I want my ‘good ideas’ realised.
I want to be out of debt.
I want to be able to give away money; lots of it. Often. To writers, artists, disabled people, single parents, my own family, people of colour, and refugees (especially Muslims and/or LGBTIQA+ folk).
I want to write. Pretty much every day.
I want to be a good parent.
I want to stop feeling like God is mad at me.
I want LGBTIQA+ people to stop feeling like God is mad at them.
I want LGBTIQA+ people to feel safe and welcome at all church events.
I want my house to be both clean (bathrooms, kitchens, etc) and tidy (toys etc).
I want Louisette to be safe from bullying, and to have close friends at school.
I want the kids to go to a Christian high school (ideally a reformed BCC due to the location, and existing friendships).
I want Climate Change to be acknowledged by politicians and public figures as the most crucial challenge of our time, and for the world to change dramatically in order to deal with it.
I want lots of solar panels on my roof, and double glazed windows, and excellent AC – ie a house that acknowledges and deals with Climate Change (and my specific temperature needs). And I want that for every house in Australia and Indonesia and the US and China and the world.
I want deliberate stupidity and harmful lies to be illegal, and prosecuted, particularly when it comes to Climate Change, COVID-19, racism, asylum seekers, immigrants, and the sick/poor.
I want my cats to do their business outside so I never have to deal with it… but at the same time, to be prevented from hunting native birds or animals.
I want to not push myself so hard I get sicker.
I want a second storey on my house so we can see the mountains.
I want a bigger house, so Louisette has more room for her toys and I have more room for my ideas.
I want to recoup my losses from Murder/Magic in the Mail (ideally by selling all the stock I have, but magically without exhausting myself putting the packs together).
I like running the free pantry but I want more cash for it so we’re not losing money.
I want to help Indonesian refugee families (but I’m also super shy and awkward).
I want Aboriginal Australians to be safe, and to be healed from generational trauma.
I want Muslims to be safe and welcome in Australia.
I want LGBTIQA+ people to be safe, physically and emotionally, in Australia and around the world.
I want women to earn the same amounts as men, and to do the same amount of household work, and to be allowed to be intelligent, and to be respected by medical professionals. Even when they’re fat, or disabled, or mentally ill, or pregnant, or mothers.
I want disability access to be standard for all new houses, and for disabled people to have the housing and support they need.
I want disabled lives to matter as much as non-disabled lives. Ditto fat lives.
I want to stop being phobic of my kids (and of kids in general).
I want to not be so tired, or so anxious.
I want to be cured of sleep apnea. And migraines. And HS. And sweatiness.
I want my house to be a place friends and family want to come to.
I want to be a mother hen, but not to become overwhelmed by others’ troubles.
I want my marriage to be better (it’s already pretty good).
I want to travel (and for my body to be able to handle it), especially to see our Hong Kong family.
I want Hong Kong to be safe from China’s looming chokehold. Tibet, too.
I want Syria to be okay.
I want off-shore detention centres closed down, and all asylum seekers processed quickly and fairly, and refugees welcomed into Australia rather than left to die at sea or in their home country.
I want the Rohingya people to have a home.
I want USA Republicans to stop believing Russian troll farms and other sources of lies (particularly their own leaders).
I want Christians to be known for their love, not their hate and/or stupidity and/or casual evil.
I want to feel special.
I want to use my brain.
I want to feel loved.
I want to be a better writer.
I want to be much less overweight.
I want my eyes to work properly, and see better.
I want Louisette to be able to say full sentences without getting distracted and mentally checking out.
I want new, fully functional iphones for me and Chris and our friend whose phone is broken. [Edit: He has a working phone now.]
I want to enjoy healthy food.
I want to do God’s will.
I want our house to be big enough to comfortably host large-ish gatherings (30-50 people) and/or to host a family or two during disasters.
I want to be well enough to wear fancy clothes.
I want to look good in fancy clothes.
I want someone else to run my escape rooms and make money for them and us. I want to be able to poke my head in sometimes.
I want Chris to be happy. (Which he is, mostly.)
I want Chris to work closer to home (or at home).
Things I want that I already have:
Chris
2 great kids
2 cats, including a kitten
A house
Peace in my country
The ability to vote
Nice sunsets
Good friends (for me and Chris and the kids)
Many books to read
Many books to write
Fans
Published novels
Writer friends
Non-writer friends
Friends with/without kids
Some pretty clothes
Some comfortable shoes
The ability to shop sometimes, both online and not
Loads of chocolate and lollies and brie
Lots of great TV and a comfy couch
Racism Island
Buckle up.
Graph 2: Child Mortality Rates, from the ABS and AIHW analysis of National Mortality Database via https://www.niaa.gov.au/sites/default/files/publications/indigenous/hpf-2017/tier1/120.html
Graph 3: And the rate of maternal death in child birth, which is chilling for anyone with a mother. From the Australian Institute for Health and Welfare at https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/mothers-babies/maternal-deaths-in-australia-2012-2014/contents/risk-factors-for-maternal-death
It hurts to look at these graphs, but I bet it hurts a whole lot more to be an Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander living in a stolen land, recovering from a Stolen Generation, and knowing your future and your children’s future is also in mortal danger of being stolen without any chance of justice. (Shout out to all people of colour in Australia and beyond, but focusing on Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders today.)
People call Australia ‘Racism Island’ and they’re not wrong. We are no better than the US. And we’d better fight just as hard to make things better.
Hammock
I’m still alive, but spending a bit more time in the real world, which is not a bad thing. Thanks to Zoom, life is pretty good.
She is handling a leash and harness very well, so the other day Louisette and TJ and I took her into the backyard.
During the outside time she was mostly getting used to the usual smells and sounds of our neighbourhood, so it was the perfect time for Operation Hammock Kitten.
Sure, she doesn’t look comfortable. But that’s because of being outside rather than anything to do with the hammock. She’ll need to stay on the lead outside for many months to come, but she has no fundamental objections to the hammock so this is a win.
Then of course the kids each wanted a turn:
I’ve also been doing a foolish and irresponsible (but fun) thing, which is that when Zipper is very well settled and Zoom is sleepy, I pick up Zoom and move her over into a snuggling position with Zipper. Zoom doesn’t mind this at all; Zipper is not such a fan.
I know I shouldn’t push it, but it amuses me. (And Zipper doesn’t freak out and kill Zoom, which is of course important too.) Zoom has been with us two and a half weeks, and she’s looking distinctly rounded in the middle so I’m slowly cutting down the amount of food I give her.
Oh! And we solved the litter box problem by giving Zoom a second litter box. Strange but true. It was inspired by doing some reading and discovering that some cats prefer to have one litter box for solids and one for liquids. Zoom definitely uses both boxes for both (and Zipper has been pointedly adding her contributions too), and now I have two litter boxes in my tiny bathroom… but no more accidents. So, good.
How am I?
First, some kitten content. Specifically, a rambling video of Zoom (and sometimes Zipper) playing.
And now for something completely different. The rest of this blog entry will be all about how I’m coping. Feel free to not read it.
Some restrictions have been lifted, and schools will be taking kids back from next week. It’s clear that a vaccine for COVID-19 is still a long way away, and that governments are under considerable pressure to pretend things are normal and safe before they actually are. A lot of people have been sharing a graph of the deaths from the Spanish Flu, showing a much bigger second wave (and then a rather large third wave as well). Others are pointing out that the restrictions are getting lifted not because things are safe out there, but because there is currently room for more patients in the ICU.
Also, I have diabetes (and an auto-immune disease or two) so my chance of dying is considerably higher than the norm.
Also, those who recover from COVID-19 are just beginning to discover that it has left them with major long-term health problems. Being familiar with long-term health problems, I really really don’t want more.
So no, I don’t plan to send the kids back to school, even though it’s so terribly hard to have them here. They’ll stay home for at least the rest of this term. Although I do plan to arrange some playdates—carefully. My family had a Mothers’ Day get-together yesterday and we joined them after lunch (on the basis that sharing food is extra hazardous), but didn’t see Chris’s side of the family. We’ll visit them for TJ’s 6th birthday day next month, and this coming weekend he’ll have a “party” with precisely 2 friends (held outside, while at the same time Louisette has 1 of her friends over, and they play together inside).
But. Still no school, and for a long time.
Zoom is, obviously, a fantastic source of fun, amusement, and cuddles. Feeding her three times a day (down from six now) is a bit of a hassle, and cleaning up her constant weeing in my bathroom is… not great. But as far as mental health goes, she’s an enormous plus.
I’m the kind of person who would do really well living alone and isolated for months at a time. But that’s not my situation at all. I have one kid who I barely see (luckily for my ability to care for her), and one who wants to be with me, talking with me, for most of his waking hours. So the funny, clever, energetic TJ is… a lot.
My plan for schooling is to set up and loosely supervise the half hour Zoom classes each kid has, plus a little bit of writing practice for TJ (he practises reading with Chris at night). He’s not missing friends too badly (in fact he refuses to speak to them on Zoom), and he’s so obsessive about computer games (including educational ones) that he’s way ahead on both reading and maths.
For Louisette, I plan to do some reading with her each day, and to keep up with her maths assignments.
I’m reasonably happy with how things are going with TJ, but I’m quite far behind with Louisette (who is the one who needs more schooling).
Having said that, one or two good days with Louisette could catch us up on the maths stuff.
So maybe I’m doing well after all. It doesn’t feel like it. I have an alarm set for 9:30am so I can be dressed ready for TJ’s 10-10:30am class (if I remember, I set up Louisette to do Cosmic Yoga at the same time). Then I typically fall asleep until my alarm goes at 1pm and it’s time to put my bra back on ready for Louisette’s class. But a lot of times lately I fall back asleep either during or after Louisette’s class, and I don’t do anything directly with her. Oh well.
Having written it down, I’m not all that far away from my goals. And sure, I’m not getting much done lately, but that’s life. I have tired/useless periods and I have other times when I do well. All I really have to do is wait until I have a good day and hope it lines up with a good day for Louisette.
And I’m missing doing writing, which is a good sign.
Wish me luck, and health. I also had a phone call today about my Disability Support Pension application, which means I had to focus on all my physical and mental issues. It’s exhausting, because I usually try not to think about stuff directly. And I suspect it will lead to more forms, which is terrifying and difficult. Oh well. One step closer, presumably.
Zipper and Zoom: Sleepy
Nothin’ much to say.
Zoom in her harness, looking perturbed (most cats attack it, and then flop on the floor if you try to incite walking. 
TJ saying, “Do I look like Jordi?” Jordie is an Australian icon due to being adorably sweet, enthusiastic, and good at Lego. He’s on the show “Lego masters”, which is the greatest thing in the world. (Incidentally, TJ is now way past 200 baskets. He gets more than half of them in these days.)
Also I made a little video of her today.
Zipper and Zoom: Peace in our time?
The relationship between the two cats is going swimmingly. They spent much of the morning chasing one another—but in a playful way (with just a frisson of fear remaining to make it extra exciting). No hissing, no claws, and in fact barely any physical contact. But following one another over and around furniture and from room to room. Lots of hiding and jumping out and plenty more face to face sniffing. They even joined in on playing with a single cat toy—without snarling at one another. This is happening! They’re becoming friends! And it’s adorable.
Zoom is enjoying her cat toys, while still wanting to attack us delicious humans. She’s still having accidents outside the littler box, but they seem to be in the bathroom… so at least they’re close?
I have a harness and lead designed for teaching a cat to walk, and British Shorthair cats (like Zoom’s mother) have a reputation for being (a) smart enough to learn how to walk on a lead, (b) incredibly good hunters—so that’s more reason to keep her inside, and (c) inclined to obesity… so they need exercise. Ideally on a leash.
Clearly, teaching her to walk on a lead is an excellent plan. So today I put the harness and lead on her for the first time, and managed to walk her from the living room to my room and back again, and I opened the back door to let her out (on the leash). It was a couple of minutes, but she handled it really well—most cats simply flop to the ground and refuse to move. She walked—walked, not ran. I was easily able to pace myself to her, and since she knows her own name (or thinks it means ‘food’, which works just as well) I was able to get her to follow me a little.
She likes me way more than the others, which is highly gratifying while also being perfectly fair. With greater energy, she’s getting harder to photograph.
Incidentally, if you’re here for cat-related education I think I’ve covered pretty much everything I know. But we’re not running out of cute pics anytime soon.
Attacking the couch, as is the duty of kittens. 
Zipper and Zoom: A taste for human flesh
Things are moving quickly today. Zoom now has a collar (which had to be cut down considerably), which should help people know she’s owned and loved if she gets away. So if she gets away and if I can’t lure her back and if she doesn’t come back quickly on her own… we should be able to find her via local community groups or vets or the RSPCA. It also helps us (and Zipper) have a better idea of where she is if we can’t actually see her.
(She is, as I may have mentioned, very small.)
I went shopping today (for the second time since getting Zoom, because she definitely counts as a medical emergency lately) to get the best possible quality cat food to start her transitioning off chicken; to get another chicken for her; and to do a diabetes blood test for me (which I have to do every three months). And to buy cat toys, because Zoom has a strong preference for human flesh.
When kittens are young, their teeth and claws aren’t sharp enough or strong enough to hurt, so it’s easy and fun to wiggle one’s fingers and let the kitten chase them. But that’s definitely not so cute in the long term. It’s been very clear that Zoom prefers human flesh to the makeshift toys (ribbons, paper) that we’ve been supplying lately, so I bought three ‘fishing pole’ style toys (that dangle beautifully, looking fun and exciting while also keeping human flesh a good long way away from those adorable little teeth.
She drew first blood on me… about two millimetres while I was so close to sleep it didn’t wake me. I suspect I turned over and she was sitting on my arm and then scrabbling to stay attached when I moved.
She and Zipper did chase each other last night, as I predicted! Well… a bit. Zipper is still stalking Zoom, but doesn’t dare actually make physical contact, so when the moment comes to attack she jumps out next to Zoom and then runs away. Which is hilarious. At one stage, Zoom was drinking some water and Zipper managed to creep up and sniff the very tip of her tail. That was their first point of actual physical contact.
Meanwhile, Zoom is desperately hungry. I just started transitioning her to a teensy bit of high-quality regular cat food (both wet and dry) along with her plain chicken, and feeding her more often… but she wants more more more. I need to put her off for now, even though she’s legitimately hungry, because her stomach is still very sensitive. I also tried feeding Zipper and Zoom next to each other (it’s supposed to give them positive associations with each other) which was an utter failure as Zoom wolfs down her food and then runs to eat Zipper’s. The first two times this happened Zipper warned her off and she subsided. After that I fed them separately, which was very difficult as I’d have to prepare both dishes, then put Zipper’s down and carry Zoom to the next room… which she did not handle gracefully. And on one occasion I made the mistake of letting Zoom out of my room when she was finished eating… but Zipper was not. Zoom charged right for Zipper’s bowl and Zipper baulked and fled.
Conclusion: Zoom is polite, but not when food is involved. I’ll be more careful in future.
Zipper loves bumping foreheads with TJ (it actually shares their scent, so a lot of cats love bumping foreheads), so he’s gotten very used to connecting with a cat face to face. It is utterly adorable… but somewhat risky, given Zoom’s penchant for using our flesh as a cat toy. Fortunately she also takes a lot of cues from our behaviour, so if we pat her she usually settles down (and if we dangle something, she usually bats at it), but I really need to get TJ to NOT do this for at least a month or two.
Zipper also had a good play with one of the toys—an exact copy of one she had as a young kitten.
As you can see, Zipper looks pissed off even while playing. But… could this be the way to finally get her to jump into the hammock with me?
Oh, and Zoom also had her first normal bowel movement—and in her litter box too. But she also did a wee on a bath mat… literally in the same room as her litter tray. So the litter box dramas are likely to continue for a while.
Zipper and Zoom: Zipper and Zoom
Zoom’s health continues to improve and she’s eating a little more, which is making me feel better day by day too. She’s causing more trouble now, chewing on electrical cords and trying to steal food from both us and Zipper.
This is Louisette trying to draw her away from the heater cord:
And here’s Zoom doing her very best to steal Chris’s dinner:
So today we were using our disciplining techniques a lot for the first time—that is, saying “No” in a deep (not loud or it could hurt her) voice, tapping her on the nose with one finger (it makes cats blink and they hate it, but it doesn’t cause pain) and often physically moving her away from whatever she shouldn’t be getting into.
It’s not a fast process, because it’s not a harsh punishment. So generally what happens is she gets told “No” anywhere from 5-20 times, and when the human gets sick of the process they move her onto something else fun (possibly in another room).
So far, luckily, we haven’t had to truly intervene between the cats (except for the way we’re still taking their contact very very slowly, and waiting for them to tell us when they want more). Here’s Zoom approaching Zipper:
Zipper gave her a warning hiss, and she backed off. This is helpful, and not just in the short term. It shows that Zoom is 100% willing to let Zipper be the boss and isn’t going to challenge her. That will suck all the tension out of moments like this, and will probably lead to a real friendship instead of one where they’re constantly trying to one-up one another.
Fingers crossed!
One of the funny things about cats is that when they’re introduced I find (at least with Zipper) that they echo one another’s body language very strongly. As I write this, Zoom is curled up dozing on my lap, and Zipper is curled up dozing on a nearby chair. Dozing in the same room is a great sign anyway (no one can doze if they’re afraid), but all the more so when they’re clearly taking their social cues from one another.
Here’s Zipper approaching Zoom:
Zipper is actually showing signs of wanting to genuinely play with Zoom, which is surprising given her sedentary lifestyle… but unsurprising because Zoom is a GREAT cat toy. She’s small, fluffy, nonthreatening, and oh so life-like.
Zipper’s started stalking Zoom, which is scary to watch but Zipper’s youthful training is helping me out here, because she is not the kind of cat that will actually claw or bite another family member. She’s literally never fought another cat, and I’m 99% certain she won’t ever actually hurt Zoom. But of course I’m still supervising them extremely carefully. I predict a lot of running around at fast speeds, up and down couches, with almost no physical contact. And of course a lot more neurotic staring at Zoom from Zipper.
It’s fun to see the playful side of Zipper, even if it’s scary too.
Zipper has also been doing the ‘slow blink’ that Zoom has been doing for a while. It’s another thing she wouldn’t do if she was still terrified of Zoom—plus it’s a way for cats to show respect for one another. So although Zipper is definitely going to be dominant, she’s also willing to meet Zoom halfway (or maybe one-third of the way?)
Like most animals, cats find direct eye contact very threatening. The slow blink shows non-threatening interest.
I look forward to seeing how they go tonight when the kids are in bed and they can focus on each other (and Zipper is more sociable in the evenings, which presumably applies to cat family members as well as humans).
Now for some gratuitous cuteness:
Zipper and Zoom: Into The Unknooooooowwwwwnnn!
Zoom did not vomit again last night, and she finished all her food, so I was leaning towards not calling the vet. But he called us (completely unprompted), and we talked about half an hour. This was Kippax Vet (in Holt), who are doing a great job socially isolating (no one goes into their surgery, but they talk to people on the phone from the carpark, and the animal goes inside). The vet who saw Zipper on Saturday was on his day off today, but I’m so grateful he called and I was able to check my food plans were good for her and that there’s nothing else I should be doing.
She’s getting more playful as she feels better, and now gets quite loudly lonely if I leave the room, so I’m taking her into the living room more and more. She’s also curious about Zipper, and Zipper is getting more used to her too. Zipper’s attitude is now mostly, “What have you stupid humans done now?”
Given Zoom’s health, I was planning to take things even slower than before… but it was clear Zoom wanted to be out and about. It occurred to me that a sleepier, more passive Zoom was less scary for Zipper. So I waited until Zoom was thoroughly sleepy (but still in the living room) and then put her down in the living room, right next to me at first, to see what happened.
Zipper was tense, but crept a little closer and a little closer… while Zoom attempted to crawl inside our column heater (she didn’t burn herself, but I was scared she would), and remained on the verge of sleep. She actually displayed excellent cat etiquette, slowly blinking her eyes and not making any sudden moves. We may yet get genuine cat friendship out of these two.
We’ll probably have another heavily-supervised ‘loose’ period after the kids are asleep tonight.
Zoom also growled for the first time today: not at Zipper, but at me when she thought I was taking her food away before she was done.
And she had her first brush, with Louisette (who brushes Zipper every so often and knows how to be gentle). The brush itself is blurry in this pic.
In other news, TJ has continued shooting baskets in our yard and today he reached 100! An epic achievement.
I’ve spent some time outside (in the hammock, as usual) lately, partly to inspire TJ to burn off some energy, partly to help Zipper feel better (she loves it when we’re outside), and partly because I thought the terrifying spectre of Zoom might make her so desperate for reassurance that she’d jump in the hammock with me.
No such luck.
Of course Zoom would LOVE to come in the hammock with me, but she’s not allowed outside.
One day, my pretty.
Felicity Banks 